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Why You Should Praise Your Child More Often
Raising a child is not some clear algorithm or mathematical formula. There are too many variables in this process to operate according to the standard scheme. That is why it is so important to look at parenting From different angles, to be interested in other people's experiences, to take something from others and to build your own scheme.
We recently got acquainted with the amazing and informative blog of Anna Dmitrieva, a young mother who moved to France a few years ago. She shares her observations on the French method of parenting, as well as her personal experience.
In one of the last publications, the young mother touched upon an interesting topic. She described how the French handle children's whims and why it is normal for them to praise their child for even the smallest achievement. Editorial "Site" She shares an article by Anna Dmitrieva.
“You don’t decide where we go.” Parents decide, the French are strict in raising their children. The authority of the elders is unshakable. A child is not the center of the universe, he adapts to the rules adopted in society: along with adults, he stands in line in the store and in the toilet, together with his parents, calmly dines in a restaurant and does not hurry to leave the table.
Playrooms for children in restaurants are rare in France. Children are “little adults.” The words “hello”, “thank you” and “goodbye” are instilled in children from birth along with the words “mom” and “dad”.
DepositPhotos
French children, of course, play and play, but when crossing the boundaries of what is allowed, any adult, whether one of the parents or even a stranger, has the right to make a comment to the child.
I was not very pleased when one day my neighbor took my son, who was screaming all over the street, to the side because he did not want to go up the stairs himself, and harshly explained to him that it is forbidden to yell at my mother and that even if you do not like something, she still decides, not you. After that, he cried even more, but later he was no longer capricious at the sight of the stairs.
DepositPhotos
“Children like to be capricious, and the task of an adult is in no case to follow their lead and not to yield at this moment to a child,” the headmistress of my daughter’s school once taught me. As a result, French children are polite and unpretentious.
But paradoxically, they are quite open and confident. It is difficult to call them complex: they calmly and judiciously share their opinion with the elders, do not hesitate to take the stage and so on.
Perhaps because, despite their demands on the behavior of the child, the French, on the contrary, are quite loyal to his success in school and in clubs. Parents heartily rejoice in any achievements of their children and absolutely not hesitate to say that their child is the best.
DepositPhotos
I suddenly remembered a famous Hollywood comedy. In the house of the parents of the main character, a letter hung in the most prominent place. For honorable tenth place in some school competitions. For tenth place ... out of ten. The movie was so fun to watch, the comedy was so beautiful.
But it's not about literacy, of course. His parents, despite all his shortcomings, were very proud of him. They always praised him with ease and sincerity. But in fact, not every parent can just so easily praise your child.
DepositPhotos
I'm waiting for my daughter in the locker room of the ballet school. A French grandmother meets her granddaughter after class: “You’re good, I congratulate you!” "What is it with?" I wonder to myself. “You were spinning with ribbons!” said the grandmother, kissing the girl.
And no problem that all the other movements of the heavy and clumsy girl turned out with difficulty. It does not matter that the band has been dancing with ribbons for months. Her granddaughter did it today, and it was very important for her grandmother to say to the girl, "Bravo, my dear!"
DepositPhotos Drinks Coffee While Watching My Daughter's Class in the Pool One boy could not jump off the tower for a long time. All the other guys have been coping with this for a long time, and he decided to do it only a month later. And it’s okay that he jumped into the water fearfully and clumsily, holding on to the coach’s wand.
It doesn’t matter that he’s been in the pool the longest. His father took his son by the hand and said, “Bravo, my champion!”
My daughter once told me that she had no bad grades at all. “It can’t be, a student can never fail at all,” I say critically. Of course it can't be. It's just that French elementary school doesn't give bad grades. There's only one estimate. It's called TV, abbreviated très bien. I mean, very good.
98139,000
DepositPhotos
If the task is performed incorrectly, then the assessment is not made at all. Every Friday, the teacher sends all the workbooks home so parents can see what their child has learned in the past week. Be sure to praise children when you see my TV in their notebooks. This is a very powerful motivation for them to learn well, the teacher asked us at the meeting.
“It is not a problem that there were errors in other tasks. And the scary thing is that not all parents praise their child for a good job. It’s very important for kids to hear mom and dad say, “Bravo, great job!”
DepositPhotos One French mother I know once told me that she could not find the right frame for her daughter’s drawing. “It’s a problem for me,” I think, looking at a completely ordinary landscape. But then I screw up. I remember that my daughter’s drawings I just keep in a folder, and it never occurred to me to make a picture of them and hang them on the wall.
Something clicks in my mind after this conversation, and I promise myself to definitely buy a frame. And it is not terrible that the drawing is far from perfect. It doesn’t matter that she created it a year ago and could do it a lot better now. Her drawing will hang in our house in a prominent place and remind her that her parents love her and are very proud of her. "Bravo, my dear!"
DepositPhotos
We often scold our children: you don’t output letters smoothly enough, you still haven’t learned how to sit on the twine after a year of gymnastics, and your hands are growing out of the wrong place. We say, ‘Look how your classmate is doing on stage. What a voice, plastic! And you...
Or perhaps it’s better to be a little French on this issue and instead of comparing with others, praise more often, focusing on children’s achievements rather than mistakes. Then they will be more motivated to succeed and will not dwell on failure, going through life confidently and easily. And, of course, do not forget the rules of politeness!
Anna has a lot of informative publications on her blog. For example, she recently raised the question of whether children should share their toys with others. Very informative!
There are different parentingYou need to choose the one that suits your child. We liked Dima Zitzer's approach and his good parenting rule.
From education depends not only the character of the child, but also his future. Recently, we wrote about mistakes in education that can ruin a child’s future.
What do you think of Anna's thoughts? Tell me in the comments.
We recently got acquainted with the amazing and informative blog of Anna Dmitrieva, a young mother who moved to France a few years ago. She shares her observations on the French method of parenting, as well as her personal experience.
In one of the last publications, the young mother touched upon an interesting topic. She described how the French handle children's whims and why it is normal for them to praise their child for even the smallest achievement. Editorial "Site" She shares an article by Anna Dmitrieva.
“You don’t decide where we go.” Parents decide, the French are strict in raising their children. The authority of the elders is unshakable. A child is not the center of the universe, he adapts to the rules adopted in society: along with adults, he stands in line in the store and in the toilet, together with his parents, calmly dines in a restaurant and does not hurry to leave the table.
Playrooms for children in restaurants are rare in France. Children are “little adults.” The words “hello”, “thank you” and “goodbye” are instilled in children from birth along with the words “mom” and “dad”.
DepositPhotos
French children, of course, play and play, but when crossing the boundaries of what is allowed, any adult, whether one of the parents or even a stranger, has the right to make a comment to the child.
I was not very pleased when one day my neighbor took my son, who was screaming all over the street, to the side because he did not want to go up the stairs himself, and harshly explained to him that it is forbidden to yell at my mother and that even if you do not like something, she still decides, not you. After that, he cried even more, but later he was no longer capricious at the sight of the stairs.
DepositPhotos
“Children like to be capricious, and the task of an adult is in no case to follow their lead and not to yield at this moment to a child,” the headmistress of my daughter’s school once taught me. As a result, French children are polite and unpretentious.
But paradoxically, they are quite open and confident. It is difficult to call them complex: they calmly and judiciously share their opinion with the elders, do not hesitate to take the stage and so on.
Perhaps because, despite their demands on the behavior of the child, the French, on the contrary, are quite loyal to his success in school and in clubs. Parents heartily rejoice in any achievements of their children and absolutely not hesitate to say that their child is the best.
DepositPhotos
I suddenly remembered a famous Hollywood comedy. In the house of the parents of the main character, a letter hung in the most prominent place. For honorable tenth place in some school competitions. For tenth place ... out of ten. The movie was so fun to watch, the comedy was so beautiful.
But it's not about literacy, of course. His parents, despite all his shortcomings, were very proud of him. They always praised him with ease and sincerity. But in fact, not every parent can just so easily praise your child.
DepositPhotos
I'm waiting for my daughter in the locker room of the ballet school. A French grandmother meets her granddaughter after class: “You’re good, I congratulate you!” "What is it with?" I wonder to myself. “You were spinning with ribbons!” said the grandmother, kissing the girl.
And no problem that all the other movements of the heavy and clumsy girl turned out with difficulty. It does not matter that the band has been dancing with ribbons for months. Her granddaughter did it today, and it was very important for her grandmother to say to the girl, "Bravo, my dear!"
DepositPhotos Drinks Coffee While Watching My Daughter's Class in the Pool One boy could not jump off the tower for a long time. All the other guys have been coping with this for a long time, and he decided to do it only a month later. And it’s okay that he jumped into the water fearfully and clumsily, holding on to the coach’s wand.
It doesn’t matter that he’s been in the pool the longest. His father took his son by the hand and said, “Bravo, my champion!”
My daughter once told me that she had no bad grades at all. “It can’t be, a student can never fail at all,” I say critically. Of course it can't be. It's just that French elementary school doesn't give bad grades. There's only one estimate. It's called TV, abbreviated très bien. I mean, very good.
98139,000
DepositPhotos
If the task is performed incorrectly, then the assessment is not made at all. Every Friday, the teacher sends all the workbooks home so parents can see what their child has learned in the past week. Be sure to praise children when you see my TV in their notebooks. This is a very powerful motivation for them to learn well, the teacher asked us at the meeting.
“It is not a problem that there were errors in other tasks. And the scary thing is that not all parents praise their child for a good job. It’s very important for kids to hear mom and dad say, “Bravo, great job!”
DepositPhotos One French mother I know once told me that she could not find the right frame for her daughter’s drawing. “It’s a problem for me,” I think, looking at a completely ordinary landscape. But then I screw up. I remember that my daughter’s drawings I just keep in a folder, and it never occurred to me to make a picture of them and hang them on the wall.
Something clicks in my mind after this conversation, and I promise myself to definitely buy a frame. And it is not terrible that the drawing is far from perfect. It doesn’t matter that she created it a year ago and could do it a lot better now. Her drawing will hang in our house in a prominent place and remind her that her parents love her and are very proud of her. "Bravo, my dear!"
DepositPhotos
We often scold our children: you don’t output letters smoothly enough, you still haven’t learned how to sit on the twine after a year of gymnastics, and your hands are growing out of the wrong place. We say, ‘Look how your classmate is doing on stage. What a voice, plastic! And you...
Or perhaps it’s better to be a little French on this issue and instead of comparing with others, praise more often, focusing on children’s achievements rather than mistakes. Then they will be more motivated to succeed and will not dwell on failure, going through life confidently and easily. And, of course, do not forget the rules of politeness!
Anna has a lot of informative publications on her blog. For example, she recently raised the question of whether children should share their toys with others. Very informative!
There are different parentingYou need to choose the one that suits your child. We liked Dima Zitzer's approach and his good parenting rule.
From education depends not only the character of the child, but also his future. Recently, we wrote about mistakes in education that can ruin a child’s future.
What do you think of Anna's thoughts? Tell me in the comments.
