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What a Single Mother Really Feels Like
The number of women raising children alone is steadily increasing. Only in Russia, single mothers number in the millions, and the average age of such women ranges from 25 to 30 years. For some. parenthood A conscious choice, for others – an unfavorable combination of circumstances (unplanned pregnancy, divorce or worse). But for those and for other women it is not easy, and here is why.
Editorial "Site" I learned firsthand what a single mother really feels like. Be sure to read it!
Single moms with kids, I didn’t plan on being a single mom. I'm sure most of us have never even imagined ourselves in this role. In reality, everything turns out to be much more complicated than you can imagine. And while I love my son more than anything, there are days when I feel like the worst mother on the planet.
It's just one of the realities of single motherhood - you never feel like you're doing enough, you never feel like you're a good enough mom for your baby.
In fact, being a single mom is a million times harder than I could have imagined. I get tired all the time. I can't even remember the last time I wasn't exhausted. At some point, my body learned to function almost without sleep. After a hard day's work, cooking dinner and putting my son to bed, I don't run to bed, although I know it's necessary.
When my son falls asleep, that is literally the only time I can devote to myself. Of course, by this coveted moment I am already mortally tired, but only late at night and at night I can finish my work, listen to my favorite music and watch movies, not cartoons. It’s a time of silence that I miss so much during the day. I need her.
I'm lucky that my son goes to kindergarten and spends half a day there, but for me this is not a time to relax. In these few hours, I have to do a lot of different things: cleaning, remote work, cooking lunch, shopping, and if there is enough time – REM sleep, if my eyes are completely stuck with lack of sleep.
A single mother has no one to give her child for a while, no one to share household duties with, no one will take her child from kindergarten so that the tired mother could rest.
There are days when I dream of a different life. Sometimes I get so tired that I can’t even get up and take a shower. For example, if the day before I worked late or tried to put the child to bed after an hour-long tantrum.
I often dream that on those nights when my son wakes up and can’t sleep, or in the morning when he gets up early, someone else will say to me, “Sleep, rest, I’ll be with him.” I want to relax sometimes without worrying about anything. I can't even have lunch with a friend or arrange a day of self-care.
My son sees his father several times a week for a couple of hours. Dad never takes him overnight, so I try to spend those priceless few hours on urgent work. My ex-husband works hard and spends time with our son when he can, but I'd like him to take him longer.
I know how lucky I am to have him in my life. But when I do 90 percent of all parenting tasks, I don't feel so lucky. I used to write to my ex, practically begging him to come and pick up my son for at least a few hours so that I could come to my senses and gather my strength.
They say you can't drink from an empty cup. This is where the single mother is most of the time. You are completely squeezed, but still find the strength to get up, make money, buy groceries. You blow on a bruised knee, cook dinner, turn on the washing machine (and if not, roll up your sleeves and wash your hands).
I do this every single day, but I have no idea how. My cup is empty, but I keep drinking from it. Because I have to, because my son needs me, because he is the whole world to me.
As strong and independent as I seem, I feel different inside. Of course, there are moments of joy in life, but it is very difficult to enjoy them when the burden of motherhood falls on your fragile shoulders. On days like this, I barely restrain myself from crying.
No specific reason. There comes a time when I feel the hardships of my life. And then the only way to get out of this state is to allow yourself to cry. I hate that feeling!
I have a beautiful son, but I feel like I'm letting him down all the time. He usually gets a mother whose head is ripped apart by thousands of thoughts at once. All he wants is for his mother to play with him. And when I have a free moment, I sit down with him on the floor and I can't bring myself to build a house out of Lego or play with cars.
He's only 5, he doesn't know what my head is. It breaks my heart! Especially when he sullenly slams the lid of my laptop and asks me to stop working. He needs a mom who will hug, tickle and play the railroad together. He doesn't realize that I'm sitting at my computer to keep us safe.
Single mothers suffer in silence. Family and friends, although supportive, but they will never understand how we live and how we really feel. "You're so strong!" I can hear from everywhere. And you smile and you think, No, I'm not strong. My life is going to hell... A phrase like “I don’t know how you do it” doesn’t help or cheer me up.
I don’t know how to handle all this either. It just reminds me that I'm a single mom and I have to do everything myself. My anxiety is getting worse. We take courage, grit our teeth and pretend that everything is okay. But inside, we're broken. We're sick. The life of a single mother is very difficult.”
Single mother of many children or a single mother of one child - no woman is insured against either. Every mother who raises and raises a child alone builds a new life in her own way, trying to find a balance between parental responsibilities and the hope for female happiness. The main thing is not to perceive the child and the hardships of fate neither as an obstacle to a new happy life, nor as a protection from loneliness. As you know, a happy mother is a happy child!
We wonder what you think about this! Don’t forget to share your opinion in the comments below the article. By the way, family experts say that the chances of successfully marrying a divorced woman with children more than a free girl. That's why!
We also recently talked about why star moms prefer to raise their children alone, like Sharon Stone.
: Scary Mommy
Editorial "Site" I learned firsthand what a single mother really feels like. Be sure to read it!
Single moms with kids, I didn’t plan on being a single mom. I'm sure most of us have never even imagined ourselves in this role. In reality, everything turns out to be much more complicated than you can imagine. And while I love my son more than anything, there are days when I feel like the worst mother on the planet.
It's just one of the realities of single motherhood - you never feel like you're doing enough, you never feel like you're a good enough mom for your baby.
In fact, being a single mom is a million times harder than I could have imagined. I get tired all the time. I can't even remember the last time I wasn't exhausted. At some point, my body learned to function almost without sleep. After a hard day's work, cooking dinner and putting my son to bed, I don't run to bed, although I know it's necessary.
When my son falls asleep, that is literally the only time I can devote to myself. Of course, by this coveted moment I am already mortally tired, but only late at night and at night I can finish my work, listen to my favorite music and watch movies, not cartoons. It’s a time of silence that I miss so much during the day. I need her.
I'm lucky that my son goes to kindergarten and spends half a day there, but for me this is not a time to relax. In these few hours, I have to do a lot of different things: cleaning, remote work, cooking lunch, shopping, and if there is enough time – REM sleep, if my eyes are completely stuck with lack of sleep.
A single mother has no one to give her child for a while, no one to share household duties with, no one will take her child from kindergarten so that the tired mother could rest.
There are days when I dream of a different life. Sometimes I get so tired that I can’t even get up and take a shower. For example, if the day before I worked late or tried to put the child to bed after an hour-long tantrum.
I often dream that on those nights when my son wakes up and can’t sleep, or in the morning when he gets up early, someone else will say to me, “Sleep, rest, I’ll be with him.” I want to relax sometimes without worrying about anything. I can't even have lunch with a friend or arrange a day of self-care.
My son sees his father several times a week for a couple of hours. Dad never takes him overnight, so I try to spend those priceless few hours on urgent work. My ex-husband works hard and spends time with our son when he can, but I'd like him to take him longer.
I know how lucky I am to have him in my life. But when I do 90 percent of all parenting tasks, I don't feel so lucky. I used to write to my ex, practically begging him to come and pick up my son for at least a few hours so that I could come to my senses and gather my strength.
They say you can't drink from an empty cup. This is where the single mother is most of the time. You are completely squeezed, but still find the strength to get up, make money, buy groceries. You blow on a bruised knee, cook dinner, turn on the washing machine (and if not, roll up your sleeves and wash your hands).
I do this every single day, but I have no idea how. My cup is empty, but I keep drinking from it. Because I have to, because my son needs me, because he is the whole world to me.
As strong and independent as I seem, I feel different inside. Of course, there are moments of joy in life, but it is very difficult to enjoy them when the burden of motherhood falls on your fragile shoulders. On days like this, I barely restrain myself from crying.
No specific reason. There comes a time when I feel the hardships of my life. And then the only way to get out of this state is to allow yourself to cry. I hate that feeling!
I have a beautiful son, but I feel like I'm letting him down all the time. He usually gets a mother whose head is ripped apart by thousands of thoughts at once. All he wants is for his mother to play with him. And when I have a free moment, I sit down with him on the floor and I can't bring myself to build a house out of Lego or play with cars.
He's only 5, he doesn't know what my head is. It breaks my heart! Especially when he sullenly slams the lid of my laptop and asks me to stop working. He needs a mom who will hug, tickle and play the railroad together. He doesn't realize that I'm sitting at my computer to keep us safe.
Single mothers suffer in silence. Family and friends, although supportive, but they will never understand how we live and how we really feel. "You're so strong!" I can hear from everywhere. And you smile and you think, No, I'm not strong. My life is going to hell... A phrase like “I don’t know how you do it” doesn’t help or cheer me up.
I don’t know how to handle all this either. It just reminds me that I'm a single mom and I have to do everything myself. My anxiety is getting worse. We take courage, grit our teeth and pretend that everything is okay. But inside, we're broken. We're sick. The life of a single mother is very difficult.”
Single mother of many children or a single mother of one child - no woman is insured against either. Every mother who raises and raises a child alone builds a new life in her own way, trying to find a balance between parental responsibilities and the hope for female happiness. The main thing is not to perceive the child and the hardships of fate neither as an obstacle to a new happy life, nor as a protection from loneliness. As you know, a happy mother is a happy child!
We wonder what you think about this! Don’t forget to share your opinion in the comments below the article. By the way, family experts say that the chances of successfully marrying a divorced woman with children more than a free girl. That's why!
We also recently talked about why star moms prefer to raise their children alone, like Sharon Stone.
: Scary Mommy
