Why children should not be raised by grandparents Bashny.Net

It is no secret that the foundation of human success is laid in early childhood. Exactly. conditions of family education determine how confident he will be, sociable, inquisitive. The role of mother and father cannot be overstated.

Today's edition. "Site" They will talk about what happens when parents try to replace their grandparents. And such cases are not so rare, although in our time young people do not have as often as in the long-forgotten famine years, leave the child in the care of older relatives and go to work.





In my class there is a rather intelligent boy Petya, who has been living with his grandmother for several years. The mother married a second time, and the child was a hindrance to the new family. So we decided that he would move to live with his grandmother, he said. high schooler.





“The boy is quiet and well-mannered, learning well. I would even say he is gifted in some disciplines. Although nervously quite painful and has problems with excess weight. The graduation class is already on its nose, and Petya knows that there is no one to count on except herself. And so today I am thinking about internship and job search.

There is another guy in the same class who is in a similar situation. What distinguishes them from others is extreme modesty and shyness. It seems as if the sense of uselessness sits deep in them like a splinter.”





“Maybe, even if our parents don’t need us, so does other people. And so they sit quietly and with all their appearance try not to attract attention, as if saying “I’ll sit in a corner, I’m sorry that I was next to you.” Becomes ashamed of such parents, sadly concludes the teacher.





In developed Western countries grandparents grandchildren are experienced mentors - they know how to listen, give valuable advice, help to understand themselves and establish relationships with others. But they do not take on the functions of the nanny.





Our grandparents are obliged to take an active part in the lives of grandchildren. And if for some reason older relatives refuse to be nurses, then they are immediately accused of indifference and dislike.

Note that no one is against the elderly relatives to spend time with grandchildren, because it is useful for some and for others. Children get communication with wise and well-wishing people, and those in turn brighten up lonely everyday life with small copies of their children.





However, the child’s life begins in the mother’s body. And this bond is especially strong in childhood, when the child is just learning to be independent. All this time he takes energy from his mother and protection from his father. The warmth of parents here can not be replaced, and therefore full-fledged grandparenting - myth.

In addition, the absence of the closest people nearby traumatizes the child, he subconsciously understands that mom and dad abandoned him voluntarily. Such a child does not feel valuable and significant, which leaves a bad imprint on his relationships with peers, and on further adulthood.