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How to learn not to take offense to heart
“Not so long ago, my younger sister and husband moved into the house where I live with my parents. The problem is that my sister’s husband frankly comments on my shortcomings: the pimple jumped, the makeup is strange, then something else. It hurts me a lot - he's almost a stranger to me. Repeatedly told him to stop, but to no avail. I don’t know how to react to all this, says 26-year-old Love.
Everyone has to face criticism. Constructive criticism It helps everyone understand and correct their mistakes. But sometimes people criticize each other unfoundedly, and it becomes very annoying and sad.
Many are faced with the fact that they do not know how to react to insults, and therefore each time they fall under a new distribution of unflattering statements about themselves. If you are one of those people, the editorial board "Site" will tell you How to respond correctly slurs and unpleasant remarks in his address.
The concept of “offend” is fundamentally wrong, if you judge logically. In fact, you cannot offend a person if he does not want to be offended. That is, to accept as truth that something is wrong in himself or his actions.
It is important to understand that by hurting someone’s feelings, the abuser tries to provoke his “victim” to a response. Reacting as he needs, that is, violently and with full dedication, the “victim” feeds the abuser with his energy and satisfies his need for self-affirmation at his own expense.
In order not to give pleasure to those who try to upset you, you need to use the principle of “psychological aikido” – use the forces of the enemy to strengthen your territory.
The essence of this principle is to agree with everything you are told. The phrase “You are right” requires a minimum of emotional costs. This does not mean that you must be and truly agree with any unflattering feedback about yourself, but if you respond with calm and consent, the abuser will very soon get tired of hurting you, and he will leave you alone.
All you have to do is reduce your emotional intensity. You need to understand what to spend your energy on, where to argue, and what not to pay attention at all.
But this method is only suitable for answering a stranger. If you are hurt by a loved one, you need to act completely differently. Those close to us know all our “sick” places and therefore it is much easier for them to hurt us than it is for strangers. It is necessary to learn to control emotions, because we can, in response, hurt a native person for a living and then regret it more than once.
Sometimes friends or relatives upset us unintentionally and may not even notice that we are offended. In such cases, it is necessary to tell the offender about your feelings and discuss the situation in general, so that the person understands that he did wrong, and knows how to improve relations in the future.
Share an article with a person who often hurts you with caustic remarks – hint that he is doing the wrong thing.
Everyone has to face criticism. Constructive criticism It helps everyone understand and correct their mistakes. But sometimes people criticize each other unfoundedly, and it becomes very annoying and sad.
Many are faced with the fact that they do not know how to react to insults, and therefore each time they fall under a new distribution of unflattering statements about themselves. If you are one of those people, the editorial board "Site" will tell you How to respond correctly slurs and unpleasant remarks in his address.
The concept of “offend” is fundamentally wrong, if you judge logically. In fact, you cannot offend a person if he does not want to be offended. That is, to accept as truth that something is wrong in himself or his actions.
It is important to understand that by hurting someone’s feelings, the abuser tries to provoke his “victim” to a response. Reacting as he needs, that is, violently and with full dedication, the “victim” feeds the abuser with his energy and satisfies his need for self-affirmation at his own expense.
In order not to give pleasure to those who try to upset you, you need to use the principle of “psychological aikido” – use the forces of the enemy to strengthen your territory.
The essence of this principle is to agree with everything you are told. The phrase “You are right” requires a minimum of emotional costs. This does not mean that you must be and truly agree with any unflattering feedback about yourself, but if you respond with calm and consent, the abuser will very soon get tired of hurting you, and he will leave you alone.
All you have to do is reduce your emotional intensity. You need to understand what to spend your energy on, where to argue, and what not to pay attention at all.
But this method is only suitable for answering a stranger. If you are hurt by a loved one, you need to act completely differently. Those close to us know all our “sick” places and therefore it is much easier for them to hurt us than it is for strangers. It is necessary to learn to control emotions, because we can, in response, hurt a native person for a living and then regret it more than once.
Sometimes friends or relatives upset us unintentionally and may not even notice that we are offended. In such cases, it is necessary to tell the offender about your feelings and discuss the situation in general, so that the person understands that he did wrong, and knows how to improve relations in the future.
Share an article with a person who often hurts you with caustic remarks – hint that he is doing the wrong thing.
