What to do if your mother and sister care about your money, not family ties

“It’s not my fault that my sister’s ex-husband did this to her!” our reader Anastasia shares her feelings. Now 36 years old, she lives in her own house outside the city and raises a daughter. However, from time to time she has to listen to the reproaches of her mother, who accuses her of not wanting to help her sister. What happened and why the woman moved away from the family, read further in the article.



When my husband left my sister, I was getting married. I remember running to my mother for joy, and she sat by the window and looked into the void. “Anton is filing for divorce. Now you need to beat him out of alimony, otherwise Tanka alone will not cope.” She didn't say a word about my wedding. I just said that I didn’t even ask for money, saying that my sister needs it now.

She, by the way, celebrated her marriage on a grand scale. There were almost a hundred guests at the celebration, and I am generally silent about the banquet and the away ceremony. At the time, I knew that nobody owed me anything. As they say, the eldest was married, and the youngest can cope on her own.



That's what happened. My husband and I signed up without a party. But I didn't have to, because I'm convinced that happiness loves silence. After painting, I moved to live with my mother-in-law: then they lived alone in a 3-room apartment.

My older sister moved back with her young son. They had a hard time, because there was not enough room for everyone in one room. Tanya's ex-husband at first did not even want to pay alimony, but thanks to the court everything was resolved.



However, the mother and sister did not save much. My sister was pretty lazy and didn’t want to go to work. The mother tried to keep the family afloat, but every year it was only harder and harder.

My husband and I started saving money for our own home. And then my Tolya got promoted, started working on his own project. We got so rich that we planned to buy a plot outside the city and build our own small house.

It's been 10 years since then. Now I am 36, I have a loving husband and a 4-year-old daughter. We live outside the city, on business we drive our car, it turns out even to get out on vacation a couple of times a year.



With my granddaughter during all this time, my mother saw three times: when I was discharged from the hospital and 2 times on holidays. Yeah, mom and sister live far away. They save on everything, because their financial situation has not improved. But I don't mind bringing my mother to visit us sometimes. She's just not taking any initiative.

But from time to time he calls me and tells me how poor Tanya will not get back on her feet after the divorce. And the other day she even said that since I’m so good, she could help my sister and mother with some kind of penny. Very interesting!



Of course I feel sorry for my mom. But I don't think I owe her anything, much less Tanya. It's not my fault that my sister's ex-husband did this to her! Over the past 10 years, it was possible to recover and start a new life. Instead, Tanya goes into debt and asks her mother to help her. By the way, Tanya is 6 years older than me.

I have no desire to help my sister. Am I supposed to feel remorse about this?

Family ties do not oblige people to communicate or help each other. It is obvious that Anastasia’s sister has long made her choice and has been waiting all her life for help from other people. Instead, she should have pulled herself together and gotten off the neck of a mother who deserves to live for herself.



What do you think of this story? Would you help Tatiana, being in the place of the main character of the story? Boldly share your thoughts in the comments!