The Distance Rule in Relationships and Why You Should Follow It

Relationships between people are a forest. We like something and we don't like it. Often immediately catches the eye of some impudence. There are people who do not know how to keep their distance. They do not see others around them, they easily violate someone’s personal space. That's right. distance It shows who really is who.



Editorial "Site" I want to think about this difficult topic. Some believe that the distance is something speculative and it needs to be reduced in order to achieve its goal. Others hate upstarts who see no one but themselves. To understand the question will help us philosopher and psychologist Anna Kiryanova.



Relationships can be compared to a dining table, on which food stands, and guests choose places. The law of distance comes into force: you sit too far from the table, it will be difficult to reach the desired dishes, sit too close and put your elbows out - most likely, next time you will not be invited. You're not at home where you can put your feet on the table.



You can sit down as if there was not enough space. It's too far. And now it's awkward to move closer, get something tasty. So you're sitting hungry, pretending it doesn't bother you at all. Or openly shy and blush. You leave with an empty stomach, sitting all night on the edge. Remember, this is not lunch, this is a relationship. The food is cold. It's too long a distance.



This is not a hopeless option. A timid person can be reassured, given the opportunity to show initiative, support, encourage. Just a lot of embarrassment and insecurity - it can be fixed! Such a person should not be afraid of loneliness. You will probably reach the table over time. He'll be welcome.

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Another thing is a person who does not feel distance at all. He can easily push his neighbors with his elbows, freeing up the “working” space for himself. He will eat his own spoon from a common plate, trying to taste everything on the table. So in relationships. Clinging to the victim, constantly in sight, requires attention. It's impossible to get rid of him.



After such a person on the table is a complete mess: scattered everything, stained, stained... Lunch is broken, everyone is disappointed, the second participant froze in shock. It would be a mistake to call him again. Therefore, such a person is doomed to loneliness. If the first can be taught how to approach, then it is unlikely that the second can be taught the distance. He won't even know when you try to explain it to him. He'll be offended.



Distance cannot be held by people who have limited personal field potential. Few of them are sensitive. A very rare thing is empathy. They themselves may be vulnerable, weeping and touchy. Other people's emotions are not recognized. They do not try to correct themselves: they make the same mistake over and over again – they climb with their feet on the dining table. Eat jam with a spoon from a jar.



So, the distance rule. Those who violate it risk being left alone. Maybe it's an innate deficiency, maybe consumerism, selfishness, intention. How distance works is always clear to a normal person. It is strange that some people find it difficult to understand this. Be sure to write in the comments what you think about this.

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Distance between people An important social component in the modern world is of particular importance. These are your personal boundaries, your personal space. And climbing with your feet on the table is at least uncultured. Share this article with others and be sure to read our next material, from which you will learn who empaths are and why these people find it difficult to move closer to the table. See you later!