When the loneliness is covered with the head

There are such states of mind when aching longing comes to the throat, when it is impossible to have fun, even if all the households stubbornly set such a goal, this feeling when you feel that you are falling into pitch darkness, a hole, an abyss. It's not depression as you might have thought at first, it's not despondency as a sin, it's not the result of taking drugs or alcohol, it's... loneliness.

Loneliness... It's an interesting word. It expresses a process that lasts over time, it is not just a one-time shot of an umbrella. Alone. You hear me? It is as if this “honor” speaks of the procedural nature of this state.

The same idea is present in Ozhegov’s dictionary, where he writes that loneliness is the state of a lonely person. In other words, the experience of this state.





None of us want to be alone. And the Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18a). No one is called by God to be alone.

However, lonely life is becoming more and more common for modern people. This is the time we live in. Someone failed to get married, someone has developed in family life, and there are no children, someone has children matured, there is no close and close connection with them. A person is lonely, and there is a terrible “loneliness together”, etc.

How do we experience loneliness at the level of our actions? One example is illustrated in the famous film “Lonely is provided with a hostel”, where the main character Vera, a matchmaker, played by N. Gundareva, looking at the commandant of the hostel, who behaves so unsympathetically, suddenly says: “You are lonely, right?”

It so often happens that behind many of our unseemly actions can be loneliness. This, of course, does not mean that since there is some reasonable reason, you can blame everything on it and feel calm, deciding to live “without spiritual exploits”. On the contrary, this knowledge helps us to understand “what’s what” and adjust our behavior in accordance with Christian values.

Psychologists call this process of awareness, understanding – reflection. Without her, we're mindless. Obviously, our brains are full of information and to-do lists, but if we don’t reflect, our lives are not truly Christian.

Someone will argue with me, citing as examples many cases when a single person does not think much, does not reflect, but for 10 years already takes care of a sick old woman, also single – a neighbor from the 3rd floor. He buys food, does cleaning, and is alone.

I agree. What drives this person may be the result of his choice, professing Christian values and reflection, which was carried out 10 years ago, but it can also be ... loneliness without reflection, i.e. automatic action, fear, unwillingness to look into yourself with God and see your true motivation.

It is obvious that the value of help, which is brought consciously, and help from the thoughtless experience of loneliness is different. Many of those who work so much in the parish, asceticize in various charitable organizations, bring good to others, work without days off and rest until dying behind a candle box, but without looking into themselves and not realizing the motivation for such zeal, do not see that they are actually driven not by Christ, but by the impending unwillingness to be alone.

The experience of loneliness occurs not only at the level of actions, but also at the level of feelings. Are there “good” and “bad” loneliness? Sometimes. Good loneliness is characterized by the joy of being with the closest person, that is, with yourself.

Man needs time spent with himself and God when the television and radio are turned off, when there is graceful silence, when one can truly “just be.” Psychologists call the figure - about 2-3 hours a day, which a person needs to live and experience the so-called good loneliness.

An example of “bad” loneliness is suffering, co-dependence on another person. This person is not necessarily a spouse, but also children/parents, brothers, friends, etc. In Russian, the state of a lonely person is expressed by the word “loneliness”.

Interestingly, for example, in Polish there are two words for this. “Samotność” and “osamotnienie”. One of them expresses the good solitude that every person needs, and listen, the other word stands in passive voice, as if I do not choose this loneliness, but it chooses me. This second word expresses the bad experience of loneliness. Man becomes an object, solitude covers him and has power over him.

In fact, everyone is fatally alone in this world. In his sufferings, illnesses, joys, thoughts, feelings, there is no one who can truly and fully understand him and share all that a person experiences. No one but God.

It is an existential loneliness that affects our very existence. The realization that each person is truly alone inevitably leads us to God, to Himself, to the Source of Life and the Comforter of our souls. And then He becomes everything to us.

No one is called to be alone. And the place of the one who is to be with us is taken by Himself, knowing that we will never escape human and aching loneliness. published



Author Miroslav Ivanova



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

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Source: www.pravmir.ru/blizost-boga-ili-kak-ne-ostatsya-na-svete-odnomu/