They say that someone jinxed me. There's someone scrawling. He said that I have hooked hands and I don’t need to charge anything. Familiar? In this article, we will try to understand a little about the psychological substances that poison our lives, and what can be
criticism - it is she who causes a bad mood and dissatisfaction with herself.
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"Site" We try to deal with all possible options of infringement and depreciation. We believe that everyone, regardless of what they do, has the right to a healthy emotional environment. And it does not matter that the level of skills or interests in life can differ from person to person.
The answer to criticism is megatons in our time. As an example, we can take
social media Taking advantage of their absolute impunity, different people allow themselves the most rude and unfounded accusations. Often this is far from constructive, just a young lady in a white coat appears and says: "Everything you said here / wrote - gov ... speaks for itself."
We seem to have learned to take this for granted. Even the vulnerable tycoons now make no attempt to restore the supposedly depraved honor. It doesn't make sense. What do you do with being criticized in the eye? When you are told plainly that you are so-and-so, and you sincerely understand that this is not true and you are simply humiliated and devalued?
Symptoms are unpleasant: hands drop, the mood is at zero, you feel incomprehensible fatigue. Congratulations, criticism hit the target. Now you're afraid to take over.
thingBecause someone said you couldn't do it. This is how ailments appear - criticism you accepted and you agreed with it. Our first conceptual point – should we agree?
You will not be able to avoid criticism, it will appear in one form or another in your life. You can't be perfect, you can't make mistakes. And that's okay. You can't shut a man's mouth as soon as he decides to criticize your actions. But you can get away from him.
It only takes two actions. The first is to understand that an emotional contaminant is being injected right into your head. The second is to be able to prevent this substance from reaching its goal. It will help to realize that you and yours are responsible for spreading the infection.
reaction.
How to Deal with Unmotivated Criticism Two Actions, Two Blocks Let’s call them “lies” and “unpleasant.” These are the two emotions that will help to protect against the penetration of unreasonable criticism into the head. Here you need to develop a conditioned reflex: you understand that you are told nasty, immediately turn on the filter.
Let’s list a few aspects of what this might be. You get criticized, it's "unpleasant." Accused, and that’s “unpleasant.” To be frightened is a lie. Lower self-esteem, resent you, just hurt – “unpleasant” and “lies”. If the blocker is suitable for some similar action, turn it on and this poison will not cause you any harm.
You don’t have to answer the question, what did this man want to do to me through criticism? Did he wish me any harm? It is important to answer the question, do you really feel bad after his words? If yes, then the injection has reached its goal.
your suspicion And you've completely capitulated to criticism, you've succumbed to it and you've suffered.
How to accept criticism painlessly You need to understand a few things.
Some processes It is impossible in society without criticism. It's about learning, research, social events. We humans cannot experience the same emotions. We must make mistakes and learn from them.
Now think about how you would criticize others. Put yourself in the position of a teacher, a military man, a director of a large company, just a man who has a serious responsibility. Believe me, sometimes you need to be able to stop the other in time, shouting loudly: "Hey, cudgel!" What are you doing?” This is also criticism, often saving. But it's better when it's a mirror.
Yes, a mirror. Criticize as you would like to be criticized. In most cases,
constructiveness The task is to teach a person, to build a positive path that will help to achieve high results. Criticism of life, behavior, choices, and beliefs is inappropriate unless some of it breaks the law. This is what the mirror principle looks like.
- Do not blame the other and do not feel guilty yourself.
- Avoid situations in which you lower the self-esteem of another person – do not listen to someone who is trying to do this with your self-esteem.
- Don’t point out their flaws and don’t take them seriously when someone tries to point out yours.
- Don't hurt or scare me. Therefore, do not be afraid and do not be offended.
- Anything that is destructive to another, leave it. And don't let anyone else expose you to the same. Stop it, interrupt it, throw it away.
What criticism should be you can encourage and approve. To understand the meaning of the other person’s behavior and to understand why he is trying to hurt you. Just protect other people's nerves, because it is unclear why the opponent behaves like this. Calm down and say everything will be fine. To point to merit. Praise to raise self-esteem.
It is clear that everyone lives as he understands it. You can bite everyone around and be sure that you can not live differently. But be prepared for the fact that in response you will not just be bitten, but will bite your leg or arm. And you can respect others, be kind, understand that
Everyone is an individual with your experience and life history. What do you choose?
We do not teach you good in any case: there are enough inadequate creatures in the world with whom it is impossible to establish a normal dialogue - you have to call the police. It's just that we don't think you should be overloading yourself. Confidently repel all attacks that come from those who are trying to assert themselves at your expense, and be happy!
Response to criticism It can be different. Be sure to write in the comments how you behave in such situations and whether you have your own recipe for dealing with those who try to humiliate or offend you. Here is what psychologist Anna Kiryanova can say about self-esteem-destroying criticism, and we thank you for staying with us!
Photo preview of Kim Daehyun.