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HOW to raise a man: a guide for women and not only
Freedom begins with self-restraintWomen's sorry. Constantly complain that men are not around. Women do not mind. Bring up their sons as girls. The result is natural.
Express your thoughts about it.
First.
Raising the boy must deal with his father. Moreover, since birth. His birth, not the birth of a son.
Because education in the family is not moralizing. The boy copies the behavior pattern of his father, not his words.
Question moms — do you want your son to become the same as your husband?
Second.
What I mean by "man"? Quite a domestic concept. A man should be strong. What does this mean? To be able to make decisions and take responsibility for those decisions.
Question to parents — learn your son to make their own decisions and take responsibility for them?
Third.
Make the decision and take responsibility — two sides of the same coin. Freedom with one hand. Restriction of freedom on the other.
Example:
The man makes decisions, but responsible for his woman. This is not a man, and sissy. Man.
The man does not accept the solution but bears the responsibility. This is not a man. And henpecked. Man.
Fourth.
Freedom begins with self-restraint.
There is such East saying "First drink water the camels, because they have no hands. The second drink men, because they have no patience. The last drink woman."
In my scheme the education scheme is different. "The best — mom. Because she is a girl. Then the cat — because he is helpless and depends on us. And then the two of us. Because we are men."
Fifth.
At what age does a baby become a man?
Since awareness of themselves as individuals. Psychologists know this age. Three years. Yes, mom. Three years.
From this age you need to constantly teach my son — "Thou art the man!".
From this age it is necessary to learn his normal masculine word "Should!"
Unfortunately, this word has become a psychological environment as a kind of bogey — "necessity". Mnogih psychologists it is somehow associated with neurotic reactions.
Alas, it is a fact — a "want and don't care!" lead to the development of sociopathic personality. Look around and you will see a lot of man, not able to force myself into some action.
The man needs. To be able to endure. To be able to overcome themselves. To be able to make a mistake. To be able to be gentle. To be able to be rude. To be able to be different. To be able to answer for his words. A man should be able to BE.
Sixth.
Refers to the kid want immediately from birth as a man. When the baby is screaming you have on hand — enough to get him to sleep and talk to him — "You are the man? Why then are you yelling?"
You understand that in this moment you don't give him the installation, and yourself? In the future, you will refers to him as an equal and an adult? Yes. The child should be treated like an adult. This does not mean that it is not necessary to play, not to forgive his mistakes, not undead it, smiling at him.
Seventh.
Child can be wrong. He explores the world around them, explores its boundaries. Know why men are like children? Because men, too, are pushing the boundaries of this world. A man must be restless. He is the driving force of humanity. And the woman — power conserving, if that.
You can't punish the kid for the mistakes. They need to fix it. Him. Yourself. Self. But with your hint and help.
Now — illustration of all this:
A few years ago I got married.
And there was my cousin's son. Cousin — because I adopted him. And how should I call him? He was seven years old.
From the beginning I took the position of alpha male in the pack. The boundaries of behavior:
-Your room is your room. You own it — clean it up from himself, from himself bardach.
-Mom — it's a girl. The more we help her, the more she is happy, and the less growls\grumbles.
-Nakosyachil—.
-You could do everything yourself.
-You, first and foremost, the protector of the family.
And don't forget. We — together.
-Is there a problem? Then there is her decision.
The first time he hated me. And it is clear why. Just what was there favorite dad. And suddenly some strange man.
First, we sniffed each other. Two males in the pack. Quietly to establish contact.
Competed with each other. And still compete. The prize is a smile from my mom. Well, not only smile. Another hug\out. Since then, the most severe punishment for him my phrase:
-Mother will be very upset.
Somehow mom played the scene. I kind of messed up. She's kind of upset.
See what happens when mom hurt? — my phrase.
Brought cat. Cat — the best way to develop the kinesthetic kid. A kinesthetic — based sexuality. The phrase "training on cats" is as relevant as ever in this case. Dry cleaning\Ironing cats contributes to the development of abilities iron\Ironing women in the future.
-Dales! Can I have the bike?
-You're a man and you decide.
-I'm a boy...
-Then — not! Men and boys cannot.
A resentful sniff. In five minutes:
-Dales! I'll go on a bike ride!
-Realized. Go.
-Will it help the bike endure?
-Yes easily. Will help to bear?
Yeah!
-Forward!
Or, for example:
-Misha! Tomorrow we go to the movie first, then to the shooting range to shoot. Are you with us?
-In what movie?
-For adults. "Brest fortress" is called.
-And it is possible to shoot first, and then you go to the movies, and I'm home? (meant on the computer to play it)
-No. In the first movie. Then to shoot. I decided not to. Because I'm in charge.
Left to think. Back.
-I agree.
And we call him Uncle Mike.
Yes. Lazy sometimes. The lessons are not completed yet, the money given for Breakfast, the cars will spend. The deuce will bring. The mobile home will forget. The football walk. Has the right to make mistakes. But the duty to correct these errors. Grow up — these errors will be even greater. And responsibility will increase, of course.
And how are things with his own father? Normal. The night from Friday to Monday Misha holds my father. Usual with these sister three years old. Sometimes, my father and we communicate through education.
Summary.
At our house growing man. He is 10 years old. I can call him: "Misha, do eggs mom for lunch! And I'm still busy!"
And you? You grow a man at home? published
Author: Alexey Ivakin
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: //ivakin-alexey.livejournal.com/175986.html
Express your thoughts about it.
First.
Raising the boy must deal with his father. Moreover, since birth. His birth, not the birth of a son.
Because education in the family is not moralizing. The boy copies the behavior pattern of his father, not his words.
Question moms — do you want your son to become the same as your husband?
Second.
What I mean by "man"? Quite a domestic concept. A man should be strong. What does this mean? To be able to make decisions and take responsibility for those decisions.
Question to parents — learn your son to make their own decisions and take responsibility for them?
Third.
Make the decision and take responsibility — two sides of the same coin. Freedom with one hand. Restriction of freedom on the other.
Example:
The man makes decisions, but responsible for his woman. This is not a man, and sissy. Man.
The man does not accept the solution but bears the responsibility. This is not a man. And henpecked. Man.
Fourth.
Freedom begins with self-restraint.
There is such East saying "First drink water the camels, because they have no hands. The second drink men, because they have no patience. The last drink woman."
In my scheme the education scheme is different. "The best — mom. Because she is a girl. Then the cat — because he is helpless and depends on us. And then the two of us. Because we are men."
Fifth.
At what age does a baby become a man?
Since awareness of themselves as individuals. Psychologists know this age. Three years. Yes, mom. Three years.
From this age you need to constantly teach my son — "Thou art the man!".
From this age it is necessary to learn his normal masculine word "Should!"
Unfortunately, this word has become a psychological environment as a kind of bogey — "necessity". Mnogih psychologists it is somehow associated with neurotic reactions.
Alas, it is a fact — a "want and don't care!" lead to the development of sociopathic personality. Look around and you will see a lot of man, not able to force myself into some action.
The man needs. To be able to endure. To be able to overcome themselves. To be able to make a mistake. To be able to be gentle. To be able to be rude. To be able to be different. To be able to answer for his words. A man should be able to BE.
Sixth.
Refers to the kid want immediately from birth as a man. When the baby is screaming you have on hand — enough to get him to sleep and talk to him — "You are the man? Why then are you yelling?"
You understand that in this moment you don't give him the installation, and yourself? In the future, you will refers to him as an equal and an adult? Yes. The child should be treated like an adult. This does not mean that it is not necessary to play, not to forgive his mistakes, not undead it, smiling at him.
Seventh.
Child can be wrong. He explores the world around them, explores its boundaries. Know why men are like children? Because men, too, are pushing the boundaries of this world. A man must be restless. He is the driving force of humanity. And the woman — power conserving, if that.
You can't punish the kid for the mistakes. They need to fix it. Him. Yourself. Self. But with your hint and help.
Now — illustration of all this:
A few years ago I got married.
And there was my cousin's son. Cousin — because I adopted him. And how should I call him? He was seven years old.
From the beginning I took the position of alpha male in the pack. The boundaries of behavior:
-Your room is your room. You own it — clean it up from himself, from himself bardach.
-Mom — it's a girl. The more we help her, the more she is happy, and the less growls\grumbles.
-Nakosyachil—.
-You could do everything yourself.
-You, first and foremost, the protector of the family.
And don't forget. We — together.
-Is there a problem? Then there is her decision.
The first time he hated me. And it is clear why. Just what was there favorite dad. And suddenly some strange man.
First, we sniffed each other. Two males in the pack. Quietly to establish contact.
Competed with each other. And still compete. The prize is a smile from my mom. Well, not only smile. Another hug\out. Since then, the most severe punishment for him my phrase:
-Mother will be very upset.
Somehow mom played the scene. I kind of messed up. She's kind of upset.
See what happens when mom hurt? — my phrase.
Brought cat. Cat — the best way to develop the kinesthetic kid. A kinesthetic — based sexuality. The phrase "training on cats" is as relevant as ever in this case. Dry cleaning\Ironing cats contributes to the development of abilities iron\Ironing women in the future.
-Dales! Can I have the bike?
-You're a man and you decide.
-I'm a boy...
-Then — not! Men and boys cannot.
A resentful sniff. In five minutes:
-Dales! I'll go on a bike ride!
-Realized. Go.
-Will it help the bike endure?
-Yes easily. Will help to bear?
Yeah!
-Forward!
Or, for example:
-Misha! Tomorrow we go to the movie first, then to the shooting range to shoot. Are you with us?
-In what movie?
-For adults. "Brest fortress" is called.
-And it is possible to shoot first, and then you go to the movies, and I'm home? (meant on the computer to play it)
-No. In the first movie. Then to shoot. I decided not to. Because I'm in charge.
Left to think. Back.
-I agree.
And we call him Uncle Mike.
Yes. Lazy sometimes. The lessons are not completed yet, the money given for Breakfast, the cars will spend. The deuce will bring. The mobile home will forget. The football walk. Has the right to make mistakes. But the duty to correct these errors. Grow up — these errors will be even greater. And responsibility will increase, of course.
And how are things with his own father? Normal. The night from Friday to Monday Misha holds my father. Usual with these sister three years old. Sometimes, my father and we communicate through education.
Summary.
At our house growing man. He is 10 years old. I can call him: "Misha, do eggs mom for lunch! And I'm still busy!"
And you? You grow a man at home? published
Author: Alexey Ivakin
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: //ivakin-alexey.livejournal.com/175986.html
