Joachim Bauer: the End of love manifested in body movements

Secret love probably lies in the ability to spontaneously and without strain to tune into the other person.

This process consists of two components.

  • First, this skill is based on the gift, the ability to "read" the situation of a loved one, to feel that he cares about what makes him tick.
  • Second, this skill is based on readiness to "mark" the resonance caused by another person, that is, give it its own reinforcing or additional note.

This is true for joyful situations, and the experience of grief and suffering. The curiosity of scientists does not stop even in front of such situations.

This is evidenced by the experiment: women who were closely connected with its partners, dealt a painful hand injury, while the scanner recorded the activity of their brain. In the second part of the experiment, women in the chamber of the scanner, spared, but has shown on a small monitor as their partners inflict the same pain they just experienced themselves. Functional magnetic resonance imaging showed that the pain centers of the brain react and in that case, when a person is in pain, when "only" empathizes with the pain of the partner.

Based on neurobiological resonance, a physical reaction occurs in love not only with the sensation of pain, but in all other situations.

When love ends So that love can grow and deepen, it is necessary to perform multiple conditions that you can't learn in courses.

The possibility of continuous development of love means the ability to withstand tension and endure the frustration, then could be realized new and happy experiences. However, the ability to endure must have its limits.

There are couples that constantly re-create happiness feelings of mutual mirroring and sometimes retain the love throughout life.

But it happens in reverse: the partners after the weakening of the love of heat years get tired of each other, languishing or even turn their lives into torture. If the setting on the partner is no longer fun, then work with love is bad. It is interesting to trace relationships that have reached this point.

For couples whose love passed, characterized by the absence of reflective behaviors are important characteristics, typical for the processes of specular reflection. The classic symptom is a General lack of attention: the interest of one partner spontaneously attracted some object, the other is present while the partner shows indifference. Where there is no more regular and spontaneous attention ("joint attention"), there is a lost emotional contact. A special variant of the "joint attention" is a direct meeting views, the most immediate form by which men indicate that give value to the other person and agree to support him internal contact.

Couples who have love fails, systematically avoiding to meet eyes — is also a spontaneous, intuitive process.

The end of love manifested in body movements. These are characteristic of a breakup of the movement consist of various characters, which are used and infants (e.g., "still-face procedure" — a technique still faces), they can be observed also in monkeys. These signs spontaneously and intuitively interpreted by the optical system of processing and interpretation (STS) of the brain as a reluctance to continue the contact. Even before verbal explanations coming from these body language signals allow us to feel intuitively that love is something not that long before we find out why.

Couples that have reached this stage usually fall into the impasse of helplessness.They feel that love is something not going well, but I don't know what is the reason and what to do now.

  • People who were bound in an open relationship, usually give up and try to find a new partner.
  • Couples in a strong relationship or are associated with the total responsibility for children, would like to get out of this impasse, but don't know how.

The dilemma is complicated by the fact that many people in the process of its development was not able consciously to perceive the emotions, feelings and are unable to learn to talk about emotional problems. They have no access to the "dialogical principle" of Martin Buber. A crucial role in such cases may provide counseling, e.g. family therapist, even if ultimately it turns out that the best solution for both will break the relationship.published

From the book by Joachim Bauer "Why do I feel what you feel. Intuitive communication and the secret of mirror neurons".


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©



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