303
Children mirror parental problems
Relationship the closest people – parents and children – sometimes leave much to be desired.
It is especially difficult tolerated disorder, when the children grow up. Of course, more responsibility for complex relationships with children falls on the shoulders of parents, it is said that "children mirror parents", or to be more precise, "children mirror parental problems."
And as if parents neither taught his child, he will not behave accordingly to the teachings, and as a sponge to soak up what he sees, what surrounds it and behave accordingly to the behavior of adults and "mirror" it.
Over the years and without that uneasy relations have often worsened, lose the understanding and quarrels arise from seemingly nothing. After all, each of us look, gesture or remark, uttered in passing, the most expensive man - a father or mother, have a special meaning and sometimes can cause terrible pain, to leave an indelible mark, or cause anger, which later will be replaced by an oppressive sense of guilt. And the stronger the love and affection of parents, the more rapidly will manifest these negative emotions. At such moments pop up childish insults, the memories of what, in the opinion of the child, the parents he was given. Because the child often captures the attention on what he is, as he seems to be less than what he was given.
Often adult children try to change their parents and getting them the attention and care which they were deprived. Sometimes already grown up children go from one extreme to the other. And if in the childhood parents have presented the most, most, most! – the best, the most beautiful, the most Almighty, the most intelligent, childish insults sometimes lead to the fact that all the good is forgotten, and the parents are set by monsters and villains.
But there are no flawless people, and the ordinary person has flaws and problems, and the advantages and positive qualities. And every parent, whether father or mother can give her child only what he has, can give so much love that is in his soul, and Express it as best he can.
Oscar Wilde once said: “Children first love their parents; then they get older and they judge them, sometimes they forgive them” .
You can live your whole life, parents making claims and blaming them for their failures. And we can remember that every Mature person is responsible for his life, to come to terms with the fact that everything was as it was and stop trying to "show through" older mom and dad.
Wisely said Cora Antarova: "no Matter what made you. It is important that you did that made you."
And if parents change will not happen, so we must try to change their attitude towards them: to learn to listen and hear their loved ones, to learn to speak about what their concerns and try to place less weight on the observations. Moreover, with age, the psyche loses its plasticity, so if an elderly person is obviously wrong, it makes no sense to prove him wrong – it is a thankless and useless. But at the same time not to allow themselves to be manipulated excessively to control and patronize. And remember: how you treat your parents and your children in the future will apply to you.
And only when resentment and anger in the soul will give way to understanding and compassion, comes maturity, and with it will come peace of mind and harmony. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: v-garmonii-s-soboi.ru/wzaimootnoshenija-detej-i-roditelej/otnoshenie-detey-k-vzroslyim-roditelyam
It is especially difficult tolerated disorder, when the children grow up. Of course, more responsibility for complex relationships with children falls on the shoulders of parents, it is said that "children mirror parents", or to be more precise, "children mirror parental problems."
And as if parents neither taught his child, he will not behave accordingly to the teachings, and as a sponge to soak up what he sees, what surrounds it and behave accordingly to the behavior of adults and "mirror" it.
Over the years and without that uneasy relations have often worsened, lose the understanding and quarrels arise from seemingly nothing. After all, each of us look, gesture or remark, uttered in passing, the most expensive man - a father or mother, have a special meaning and sometimes can cause terrible pain, to leave an indelible mark, or cause anger, which later will be replaced by an oppressive sense of guilt. And the stronger the love and affection of parents, the more rapidly will manifest these negative emotions. At such moments pop up childish insults, the memories of what, in the opinion of the child, the parents he was given. Because the child often captures the attention on what he is, as he seems to be less than what he was given.
Often adult children try to change their parents and getting them the attention and care which they were deprived. Sometimes already grown up children go from one extreme to the other. And if in the childhood parents have presented the most, most, most! – the best, the most beautiful, the most Almighty, the most intelligent, childish insults sometimes lead to the fact that all the good is forgotten, and the parents are set by monsters and villains.
But there are no flawless people, and the ordinary person has flaws and problems, and the advantages and positive qualities. And every parent, whether father or mother can give her child only what he has, can give so much love that is in his soul, and Express it as best he can.
Oscar Wilde once said: “Children first love their parents; then they get older and they judge them, sometimes they forgive them” .
You can live your whole life, parents making claims and blaming them for their failures. And we can remember that every Mature person is responsible for his life, to come to terms with the fact that everything was as it was and stop trying to "show through" older mom and dad.
Wisely said Cora Antarova: "no Matter what made you. It is important that you did that made you."
And if parents change will not happen, so we must try to change their attitude towards them: to learn to listen and hear their loved ones, to learn to speak about what their concerns and try to place less weight on the observations. Moreover, with age, the psyche loses its plasticity, so if an elderly person is obviously wrong, it makes no sense to prove him wrong – it is a thankless and useless. But at the same time not to allow themselves to be manipulated excessively to control and patronize. And remember: how you treat your parents and your children in the future will apply to you.
And only when resentment and anger in the soul will give way to understanding and compassion, comes maturity, and with it will come peace of mind and harmony. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: v-garmonii-s-soboi.ru/wzaimootnoshenija-detej-i-roditelej/otnoshenie-detey-k-vzroslyim-roditelyam
