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To indulge it is impossible to deny
How to deny a child sweets and entertainment when he wants it.— Banana, gum as Ilya, what else?
— Bike! Same like an adult, but my height, white, with stripes.
But we're going to the grocery store...
— Well, then the bike next time.
I don't understand what the word "spoiling".
If "spoiling" is to listen to your child remember and even record his desire to make sense of what he's interested in, to try to embody the dreams and to look nice as often as possible, then Yes, I indulge their children.
If to buy all in a row, to fill with gifts, to overfeed sweets and fast food (because it is necessary to calm the itchy feeling of guilt, it is impossible to provide or unbearable to listen to crying at nakoplennoy jelly worm) — no, I do not indulge.
My five year old daughter is very impulsive, often wants everything he sees – the same but different colors; to eat all the sweets and hot dogs in the world, bit salty sticks; jump on all the trampolines and a horse (too jump, not just a ride); to dive into cotton candy; to fly into space on the wings of a butterfly and this is a Chinese plastic ring with a heart – right now!
But I don't know what a tantrum lying on the floor of the shop and did not hear the cries of "buy!", from which the parents (and surrounding) come in horror. She often refuses sweet, can easily choose one or the other, knows exactly what LEGO set he wants next, can easily give up half of something tasty 2-year-old sister and easily takes the failure in 75% of cases.I mean, she's not spoiled.
But I probably understand what a "spoiled child".
This is a child who can't take no for an answer and who do not know how to refuse. Does this mean that the ability to refuse to be in this serial — the way to unspoiled child? View.
Why I sometimes say to my daughter "no": 1. There is no money. No cash, and the cards do not take. Not enough for what you want. The desired scale and requires careful and not impulsive choice.
2. Can not physically at the moment. Can't carry on the hands or on the shoulders, if your back hurts. Can't go somewhere where you need 100% attention of only one of the children, and with me two. My hands are full.
3. No time for this right now, but I'll try to find that time later.
4. Desired unhealthy at the moment.
5. Desired very harmful or dangerous always.
What is better to refuse? 1. Sorry, right now can't buy. Currently not enough money, will be back later / in a few days will be able / it is expensive and must choose to count, whether it will turn out. I remember what you want.
2. Sorry, I can't carry you would hurt me / I can't go on the trampoline today, we walk without the Pope there will be no one to look after his younger sister, and she runs away all the time.Go on the weekend, okay?
3. We can't go to the Playground now I'm in a hurry. I know what you want and we will try to stop by on the way back.
4. You now not stoicity milk, you just ate the fruit, can get sick the stomach / 'm not buying you a candy today, did you eat chocolate, your body with it will be hard to handle...
5. You're drinking a coke, let's buy the juice? You can't go large road itself is dangerous, she goes through a little?
Oh, and where is "there"?
Denying daughter, I try:
1. To think carefully whether it is necessary to refuse. Is the real reason or just the mood is not right.
2. Horoshenechko to think if I'm ready for the consequences of failure. This is really the most valuable advice. Not ready for tears — buy person ten bubbles, because the previous nine had been poured, and enjoy the calm both of you.
3.To be prepared for the consequences of failure. I try not to be afraid of tears, anger and frustration, so often I can posochuvstvuete and comfort is very important.
4.To avoid temptation. It is difficult, not always successful, but if more planning your route on time and to willfully shift attention when something is forbidden/unwanted close and still not seen, then the odds are rising.
5. To understand that even if the adult is difficult to hold back when something suddenly wanted the child it is a thousand times more difficult.
6.Not be ashamed of. There is not even know what to say. To be ashamed of their desires painful and harmful, and for a child – even destructive...
7.Remember your children's feelings after a failure. The most offensive part is not the failure, but how it is failing. When a child is told to want something stupid, embarrassing, insolent, irrelevant, and his desire to cause irritation, anger, contempt, or ridicule, it can grow complete lack of understanding and dislike of the man.
That's all. Left to learn to say "no" to adults. published
Author: Sasha Pais
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: ponaroshku.ru/blog/balovat-nelzya-otkazyvat/
— Bike! Same like an adult, but my height, white, with stripes.
But we're going to the grocery store...
— Well, then the bike next time.
I don't understand what the word "spoiling".
If "spoiling" is to listen to your child remember and even record his desire to make sense of what he's interested in, to try to embody the dreams and to look nice as often as possible, then Yes, I indulge their children.
If to buy all in a row, to fill with gifts, to overfeed sweets and fast food (because it is necessary to calm the itchy feeling of guilt, it is impossible to provide or unbearable to listen to crying at nakoplennoy jelly worm) — no, I do not indulge.
My five year old daughter is very impulsive, often wants everything he sees – the same but different colors; to eat all the sweets and hot dogs in the world, bit salty sticks; jump on all the trampolines and a horse (too jump, not just a ride); to dive into cotton candy; to fly into space on the wings of a butterfly and this is a Chinese plastic ring with a heart – right now!
But I don't know what a tantrum lying on the floor of the shop and did not hear the cries of "buy!", from which the parents (and surrounding) come in horror. She often refuses sweet, can easily choose one or the other, knows exactly what LEGO set he wants next, can easily give up half of something tasty 2-year-old sister and easily takes the failure in 75% of cases.I mean, she's not spoiled.
But I probably understand what a "spoiled child".
This is a child who can't take no for an answer and who do not know how to refuse. Does this mean that the ability to refuse to be in this serial — the way to unspoiled child? View.
Why I sometimes say to my daughter "no": 1. There is no money. No cash, and the cards do not take. Not enough for what you want. The desired scale and requires careful and not impulsive choice.
2. Can not physically at the moment. Can't carry on the hands or on the shoulders, if your back hurts. Can't go somewhere where you need 100% attention of only one of the children, and with me two. My hands are full.
3. No time for this right now, but I'll try to find that time later.
4. Desired unhealthy at the moment.
5. Desired very harmful or dangerous always.
What is better to refuse? 1. Sorry, right now can't buy. Currently not enough money, will be back later / in a few days will be able / it is expensive and must choose to count, whether it will turn out. I remember what you want.
2. Sorry, I can't carry you would hurt me / I can't go on the trampoline today, we walk without the Pope there will be no one to look after his younger sister, and she runs away all the time.Go on the weekend, okay?
3. We can't go to the Playground now I'm in a hurry. I know what you want and we will try to stop by on the way back.
4. You now not stoicity milk, you just ate the fruit, can get sick the stomach / 'm not buying you a candy today, did you eat chocolate, your body with it will be hard to handle...
5. You're drinking a coke, let's buy the juice? You can't go large road itself is dangerous, she goes through a little?
Oh, and where is "there"?
Denying daughter, I try:
1. To think carefully whether it is necessary to refuse. Is the real reason or just the mood is not right.
2. Horoshenechko to think if I'm ready for the consequences of failure. This is really the most valuable advice. Not ready for tears — buy person ten bubbles, because the previous nine had been poured, and enjoy the calm both of you.
3.To be prepared for the consequences of failure. I try not to be afraid of tears, anger and frustration, so often I can posochuvstvuete and comfort is very important.
4.To avoid temptation. It is difficult, not always successful, but if more planning your route on time and to willfully shift attention when something is forbidden/unwanted close and still not seen, then the odds are rising.
5. To understand that even if the adult is difficult to hold back when something suddenly wanted the child it is a thousand times more difficult.
6.Not be ashamed of. There is not even know what to say. To be ashamed of their desires painful and harmful, and for a child – even destructive...
7.Remember your children's feelings after a failure. The most offensive part is not the failure, but how it is failing. When a child is told to want something stupid, embarrassing, insolent, irrelevant, and his desire to cause irritation, anger, contempt, or ridicule, it can grow complete lack of understanding and dislike of the man.
That's all. Left to learn to say "no" to adults. published
Author: Sasha Pais
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: ponaroshku.ru/blog/balovat-nelzya-otkazyvat/
