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Be careful, maybe you prozhivate NOT your life!
In our society there are clearly defined patterns and rules by which "need" to live and who "should" fit. From childhood we are told what we should be when we grow up, often decide what we should do, what College to enter, what you see with us of the elect, there is a common age in which the "right" to have children and it is also in some degree a duty to make a career, have a family and children. Most people, subject to public opinion and trying to match the superimposed expectations, stuffed carry out social programs, putting the record book in the invisible checkmarks in the columns "career", "family", "the good son", "wonderful mother", completely without noticing, and not discerning their true desires, not asking yourself this question — is this really what I want? This is really what I want in life? And it does have a strange question that most people are even surprised — who am I? But if we don't know the answer to these seemingly simple questions, we live almost blindly, moving to the touch. Of course a blind person also has a chance to come to the desired destination, and it is also in life sometimes happens, but rarely enough, it's more of a happy coincidence, as the mark to hit the target. Much more frequently, thus advancing a person coming into a strange place where he realizes that he there was no need that he does things differently like. Sometimes this phenomenon is called "midlife crisis", but in fact there is no crisis, just like if a person goes blindly with the crowd screaming "yeah, come on, you just have to go there and" then, having come to a specific crowd and environment point, he opens his eyes and realizes that imagined the destination quite differently. But the time has already been spent, resources invested... Hello crisis, depression and loss of meaning of life. This occurs most often in the age of 35-45 years, depending on the speed of movement, but in recent years, in connection with the change in the rate of transmission of information in the world, this "crisis" was to come much earlier, many already in the region of 30-35 years. In order to be different, you need to see, to open eyes and clear understanding of where we need. For this you need to deal with their true (reference) values. Sit quietly, close your eyes, look at his life. Now take a sheet of paper and divide it in half. In the first column write down what in your life at the moment is most valuable from your point of view. It can be your house, knowledge, beauty, information, children, money, travel, recognition, work, career, anything. Write 10 such values. Don't forget the values that were given to us easily and effortlessly. All of them are different, someone is in good health from nature, take for granted, someone money given from birth and we don't value them, someone nice friendly family is and always has been. Write down everything that is valuable in your life today and number. In the second column write down the values that you think are important to you, but they are not present in your life. Let them be also 10. Now take the first list, go down the list and about each of the items ask yourself is do my value, I really like to have it in my life, can I live without it? Whose choice is that, my parents, and can be so accepted in society? If the answer is Yes, that is my value, my choices, I am living without it is not — it's your value really is. If you waver, have doubts, and it seems to be so necessary, but I probably could live without it or to replace it with something — out without hesitation. On a vacant place gives value from the second list, and analyze it in exactly the same way. Keep going until the first list will be again 10 points. This is your base 10 values. Now count how many of these 10 remaining points values from the first list, and how many of the second, the conclusion: if you have deleted from the first list more than 5 values and added to a list of values from the second list, most of the values in your life you imposed. On the contrary, if the first list is almost not changed, congratulations — you live in accordance with their values and most likely the joy of life a constant companion of your path. In conclusion, I want to say — do not betray yourself. Listen to yourself and your true desires and live in accordance with them, and only we are responsible for your life and your happiness: we ourselves know best, as it will be for us. And love yourself, you are the most important value in their lives. Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/kak_prozhit_svoyu_a_ne_chuzhuyu_zhizn_ili_pro_istinni/ When copying materials reference to the source is mandatory © psy-practice.com
In our society there are clearly defined patterns and rules by which "need" to live and who "should" fit.
From childhood we are told what we should be when we grow up, often decide what we should do, what College to enter, what you see with us of the elect, there is a common age in which the "right" to have children and it is also in some degree a duty to make a career, have a family and children.
Most people, subject to public opinion and trying to match the superimposed expectations, stuffed carry out social programs, putting the record book in the invisible checkmarks in the columns "career", "family", "the good son", "wonderful mother," absolutely not noticing and not discerning their true desires, not asking yourself this question — is this really what I want?
This is really what I want in life? And it does have a strange question that most people are even surprised — who am I?
But if we don't know the answer to these seemingly simple questions, we live almost blindly, moving to the touch. Of course a blind person also has a chance to come to the desired destination, and it is also in life sometimes happens, but rarely enough, it's more of a happy coincidence, as the mark to hit the target. Much more frequently, thus advancing a person coming into a strange place where he realizes that he there was no need that he does things differently like.
Sometimes this phenomenon is called "midlife crisis", but in fact there is no crisis, just like if a person goes blindly with the crowd screaming "yeah, come on, you just have to go there and" then, having come to a specific crowd and environment point, he opens his eyes and realizes thatimagined the destination quite differently. But the time has already been spent, resources invested... Hello crisis, depression and loss of meaning of life.
This occurs most often in the age of 35-45 years, depending on the speed of movement, but in recent years, in connection with the change in the rate of transmission of information in the world, this "crisis" was to come much earlier, many already in the region of 30-35 years.
In order to be different, you need to see, to open eyes and clear understanding of where we need. For this you need to deal with your true (underlying) values:
Sit quietly, close your eyes, look at his life.
Now take a sheet of paper and divide it in half.
In the first column write down what in your life at the moment is most valuable from your point of view, this may be your home, knowledge, beauty, information, children, money, travel, recognition, work, career, anything. Write 10 such values. Don't forget the values that were given to us easily and effortlessly. All of them are different, someone is in good health from nature, take for granted, someone money given from birth and we don't value them, someone nice friendly family is and always has been. Write down everything that is valuable in your life today and number.
In the second column write down the values that you think are important to you, but they are not present in your life. Let them be also 10.
Now take the first list, go down the list and about each of the items ask yourself is do MY value, I really like to have it in my life, can I live without it?
Whose choice is that, my parents, and can be so accepted in society?
If the answer is Yes, that is my value, my choices, I am living without it is not — it's your value really is.
If you waver, have doubts, and it seems to be so necessary, but I probably could live without it or to replace it with something — out without hesitation. On a vacant place gives value from the second list, and analyze it in exactly the same way. Keep going until the first list will be again 10 points.
This is your base 10 values. Now count how many of these 10 remaining points values from the first list, and how many from the second.
Draw conclusions: if you have deleted from the first list more than 5 values and added to a list of values from the second list, most of the values in your life you imposed.
On the contrary, if the first list is almost not changed, congratulations — you live in accordance with their values and most likely the joy of life a constant companion of your path.
In conclusion, I want to say — do not betray yourself.
Listen to yourself and your true desires and live in accordance with them, and only we are responsible for your life and your happiness: we ourselves know best, as it will be for us. And love yourself, you are the most important value in their lives. published
Author: Helen Furber
Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/kak_prozhit_svoyu_a_ne_chuzhuyu_zhizn_ili_pro_istinni/
In our society there are clearly defined patterns and rules by which "need" to live and who "should" fit.
From childhood we are told what we should be when we grow up, often decide what we should do, what College to enter, what you see with us of the elect, there is a common age in which the "right" to have children and it is also in some degree a duty to make a career, have a family and children.
Most people, subject to public opinion and trying to match the superimposed expectations, stuffed carry out social programs, putting the record book in the invisible checkmarks in the columns "career", "family", "the good son", "wonderful mother," absolutely not noticing and not discerning their true desires, not asking yourself this question — is this really what I want?
This is really what I want in life? And it does have a strange question that most people are even surprised — who am I?
But if we don't know the answer to these seemingly simple questions, we live almost blindly, moving to the touch. Of course a blind person also has a chance to come to the desired destination, and it is also in life sometimes happens, but rarely enough, it's more of a happy coincidence, as the mark to hit the target. Much more frequently, thus advancing a person coming into a strange place where he realizes that he there was no need that he does things differently like.
Sometimes this phenomenon is called "midlife crisis", but in fact there is no crisis, just like if a person goes blindly with the crowd screaming "yeah, come on, you just have to go there and" then, having come to a specific crowd and environment point, he opens his eyes and realizes thatimagined the destination quite differently. But the time has already been spent, resources invested... Hello crisis, depression and loss of meaning of life.
This occurs most often in the age of 35-45 years, depending on the speed of movement, but in recent years, in connection with the change in the rate of transmission of information in the world, this "crisis" was to come much earlier, many already in the region of 30-35 years.
In order to be different, you need to see, to open eyes and clear understanding of where we need. For this you need to deal with your true (underlying) values:
Sit quietly, close your eyes, look at his life.
Now take a sheet of paper and divide it in half.
In the first column write down what in your life at the moment is most valuable from your point of view, this may be your home, knowledge, beauty, information, children, money, travel, recognition, work, career, anything. Write 10 such values. Don't forget the values that were given to us easily and effortlessly. All of them are different, someone is in good health from nature, take for granted, someone money given from birth and we don't value them, someone nice friendly family is and always has been. Write down everything that is valuable in your life today and number.
In the second column write down the values that you think are important to you, but they are not present in your life. Let them be also 10.
Now take the first list, go down the list and about each of the items ask yourself is do MY value, I really like to have it in my life, can I live without it?
Whose choice is that, my parents, and can be so accepted in society?
If the answer is Yes, that is my value, my choices, I am living without it is not — it's your value really is.
If you waver, have doubts, and it seems to be so necessary, but I probably could live without it or to replace it with something — out without hesitation. On a vacant place gives value from the second list, and analyze it in exactly the same way. Keep going until the first list will be again 10 points.
This is your base 10 values. Now count how many of these 10 remaining points values from the first list, and how many from the second.
Draw conclusions: if you have deleted from the first list more than 5 values and added to a list of values from the second list, most of the values in your life you imposed.
On the contrary, if the first list is almost not changed, congratulations — you live in accordance with their values and most likely the joy of life a constant companion of your path.
In conclusion, I want to say — do not betray yourself.
Listen to yourself and your true desires and live in accordance with them, and only we are responsible for your life and your happiness: we ourselves know best, as it will be for us. And love yourself, you are the most important value in their lives. published
Author: Helen Furber
Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/kak_prozhit_svoyu_a_ne_chuzhuyu_zhizn_ili_pro_istinni/
