The men's game

"Throw it away immediately this stuff!", "Well, sit thou at least!", "How much can you yell!", "Really can not do without fights!", "Stick home??? In any case!". Do you think anyone addressed these comments, boys or girls? I think the answer is obvious...

Even the noisy and frisky girl makes so much noise and confusion, how much the average kid. Especially annoying activity boys moms. Comparing the son with the eldest daughter, a neighbor girl or a child, she comes to a disappointing conclusion: naughty slut, a bully...

But we have both at school and in the family education of children mainly, it is women. And rarely what mom knows what causes the excessive (with her mother's point of view!) the liveliness and playfulness of her little boy are rooted in the depths of his subconscious.

From birth the brain is a boys brain is different from girls: in boys it weighs a bit more. Boys formed before those departments who are responsible for search activity and muscle activity are the speech centers and communication.

The boys harder than girls developing right hemisphere is responsible for holistic perception and intuitive-shaped picture of the world, but as a teenager left abruptly ahead of him in development, girls have the opposite...

What does this mean in practice? Girls before and you better start talking, and the boys at this time in full improving technique of movement in the apartment: first crawling, and soon – running and skipping. Girls prefer to carefully build a small piece of space (for example, "room" under the Desk), the boys strive to learn and capture as bigger region of space.

If you give the boy and the girl on the same set of cubes and asked to build the "ideal house", a girl is likely to make the interior with cots, high chairs and tables, and the boy will represent the house outside, "planted" around the garden or build a road, let it machines, – in a word, will enter your house in a certain outer space.

Space developed not only horizontally but also vertically: the little Tarzan gets first to the tables and chairs, then tries to climb on the Cabinet or to climb to the ceiling on a pipe of the Central heating, and later – and the trees in the Park. Mothers clutching his head: I think this pickle is simultaneously in ten locations and Skagit, Skagit, Skagit...

You can, of course, despite the cries of protest, to keep him in the playpen for up to two years, to take a walk only in the stroller or drive in the "reins" to scold and punish manifestations of "hunting" instinct. You can, as soon as the baby tries for the first time to climb on a chair to yell: "it is Impossible to fall!". You can, of course... just the nature of cruel revenge, when trying to deceive.

Active, strong-willed boy would all the forces to resist to such restrictions, perceiving them as an encroachment on their legitimate rights and begin to assert their "illegal" ways with aggression, rudeness, tantrums. Insecure, emotionally dependent child believes that the world is full of terrible danger and become insecure, lethargic, passive...

Well, you can do otherwise. From birth using dynamic gymnastics, swimming, special mini-simulators (for example, the track for crawling) encourage your baby to master the space, helping him to perform "exercise" again and again until it is perfected. Buy complex (and make it worth in the first six months of a child's life) and help the kid to master it. (Actually, all of this is necessary and girls, but if you have a growing son, the sports and outdoor games is the best way to channel his boundless energy in a peaceful direction).

After four years be sure to note the boy in the sports section. All children ideal swimming. Hockey and football are developing the ability to work in a team is the ideal sports for a child with the makings of a leader. Easy, flexible "rubber boys" will do tumbling or gymnastics. It is very important to your son as soon as possible appeared the two-wheeled bike, videos, real football and basketball.

If girls in the game the main thing – to establish an emotional contact, then for a boy to achieve leadership, to occupy the highest position in the hierarchy of peers. So the boys are more dynamic, they need to strictly abide by the intricate rules. If girls like to retire for a couple with an intimate friend, the boys give a big noisy company, because the larger the team, the more valuable the coveted top place in the hierarchy.

Even the most intelligent and well-mannered boy, once in the company of peers, starts to behave "according to the laws of the pack", demonstrating such behaviors from which mothers and grandmothers are horrified. Do not be afraid, but you need to very clearly explain to the boy what expression, gestures and General style of behavior you categorically do not accept at home. Not engaging in unproductive notation, simply say: when women do not say (do not behave). This explanation will enhance the self-esteem of the kid, emphasize its belonging to the coveted community of men.

Often mothers refuse to buy sons "military" toys: swords, guns. Their jars the idea that their tender the crumb will "play murder". But to deal with the boyish need to shoot absolutely useless. Don't buy the machine – take the stick. you will not find the stick, will "shoot" from the finger. If your five year old son enthusiastically played in the war, this does not mean that he is preparing himself for the profession of the killer. Moreover, these games are also psychotherapeutic in nature: they help to get rid of excess aggression, they practiced allowed and prohibited behaviors.

To interfere is only when you start the "fights without rules". But in this case it is not necessary to read the fighters notation. Better ask the boys to develop a code of honor not to beat on the head and below the belt, not to finish off the fallen, not to attack two on one, not to throw stones and pieces of iron.

Another stumbling block – the monsters and other not-very-nice "cult" characters. Well, what mom would love that her child sleeps in the arms of spider-man or any other evil. Teddy bear, of course, much more powerful and aesthetically pleasing...

Until recently I was strongly against such toys, and still they did not make me any positive emotions. But recently, my wonderful four year old son explained to me why he needed the ugly space alien: "I'm afraid of him. If we do get it, I'll play him and then cease to be afraid." Often the monster gets a toy for the baby a kind of materialization of his fears.

The victory over the beast means victory over fear. Fear, turned into a toy, perhaps, and does not go away completely, but it becomes more manual and straightforward. How can you seriously be afraid of who you play with? This, of course, does not mean you have to flood a child's toy monsters. But perhaps in some situation, especially between the ages of three and five years, when children are often tortured by fears, this toy will stand your son in good stead.

Even if your son has a dozen RC cars and five designers, each of which costs as much as budgetnet gets in a month, he still enthusiastically going to play with sticks and stones, and from the pockets of his pants, you will regularly shake out the items, the purpose of which "normal" adult is extremely difficult to define (you can read the story about how Tom Sawyer was painting the fence: a list boyish treasure has changed little since the days of Mack TWAIN).

©Adrian C. Murray

If you don't want to "need stuff" filled the whole apartment, take for them a special box (with the usual gouache it can even turn into a real pirate's chest). But in any case it is impossible to forbid "to carry into the house all sorts of rubbish": games with abstract objects awaken the creative juices flowing, allow to realize the most daring boyish imagination.

The instinct of the Explorer makes your curious heir to gut the clock and tape recorders, to pick open expensive toys? In principle, the desire of the boy to know "how things work" quite naturally, and it would be great if you give him a older clock or end-of-century radio, which was ten years gathering dust in the closet at the cottage.

You only need to specify with the baby that before you start another "experiment" be sure to check with the parents if they need to ever one or the other thing. Better yet, if dad (or mom) will participate in "study" or invite his son to help repair zabarahlil iron or to change a tire on the car. Even if you sense from your "assistant" no – it does not matter: the important thing is the feeling of participating in a serious "male".

©Adrian C. Murray

Often parents believe that boys are supposed to play only in constructors and machines and come to bewilderment and even outrage, finding his son in a society doll of an older sister. But you also want to grow up affectionate and warm-hearted person, was a gentle father and husband? And unless this can be learned by communicating only with cranes and bulldozers?


Parent CODE — read for ALL parents!

Teach children to dream and not to be afraid of...


Boys and girls need to role-play with dolls or animals to feed from the puppet posudki, put to sleep and roll in the carriage. If you are shocking the young ladies in lace and bows, buy or sew doll boy, which your baby will be able to take care of. Do not be afraid that he will become the object of ridicule from peers: a year or two, going to kindergarten or school, the boy with a laugh to remember my infant passion.published


Author: Asya Stein




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