The magic of New Year lies in the fact that in this period of time is a huge part of people around the world scrolls in my head the same thoughts. Doesn't matter what language these thoughts are the voice of the inner voice of every European, American, Australian, Russian, etc. doing the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle, we somehow, thinking about plans for next year or are reviewing the results of the passing year.
The result of these thought processes become a new year's resolution. which we give to ourselves, to our relatives, friends. From year to year. The waste of time that can be imagined, but such an important and big!
Especially for econet.ru Anna Gershenovich in the article about why don't work new year's resolutions in most cases, and how to fix it.
New year's resolutions don't work.
Who is not familiar with the situation when in the beginning of each year we begin something new? If you regularly at least two years in a row going to the gym, probably noticed the influx of visitors in January. Yes, it is those people who are under fight of the Kremlin chiming clock gave a promise: "to be in shape with the new year!"
Despite the fact that they create you feel uncomfortable — crowded in the locker room, you have to wait when I'm free simulator — you are not particularly worried, because I know it is temporary. By mid-February, stream "novice-to-HLS-with-new-years" runs out and before the first thaw you can walk comfortably in half-empty hall.
We all give ourselves such promises from year to year! The problem is that we don't understand WHY they don't work.
Before you can understand the reason, it is important to understand HOW we feel when don't do what we planned. Can analyze your situation. And can just give you some examples:
Comfort zone and new year's resolutions
Any change, whether it is aimed at the acquisition of a new skill (the habit of exercise, do not eat after 6, the ability to say "no" to prevent the circumstances and "Yes" to new opportunities, etc.) or getting rid of the old (habits of Smoking, eating sweets, inability to defend their views and positions, etc.), requires us to need to leave your comfort zone.
First of all, because this is something new, not peculiar to us, we haven't done this before, or even has done and know that it's not very nice. The comfort zone is where everything is clear and understandable when you are aware of the results of any action. Bored? Very. But reliable and familiar. So, in order to change something in your life, it is important to be able to leave the comfort zone.
People who come to the gym after the holidays, in fact I step out of the comfort zone! What happens next? The first "drop out" when faced with muscle pain after the first workout. Then the mass of the new year the athletes thinned when it detects that it's quite uncomfortable to walk three to five times a week in the gym. Next, someone will discover that in three weeks dropped a kilo and make a conclusion about inefficiency of such activities.
People realized that it was difficult, scared (disappointed) and left — back in his comfort zone. Many people say that once is enough to get out of the comfort zone to ever have her back. This is not entirely true. To take one step – it is important, but equally important is it to be repeated several times.Why any skill requires repetition?
Not only for the reason that thus perfected the skill. The fact is that when we step out of the comfort zone 100 times, we become more resistant to stress. To anyone.
To stress and frustration including. Only in this case, the comfort zone expands. To the same size it will not return — there was growth. Habit is either formed or we get rid of it. Temporary relief is also a result. Even if the person returned to the habit of Smoking after some time, he still has changed: it has acquired the cast experience.
We, the people, a lot of interesting behavioral characteristics.
For example, we prefer to do what does not work, but the familiar than try something new which, theoretically, may work or MAY not work.
For example, everyone knows how to look for work: need to write a summary and put it on one of the resources. Everyone knows that this is not working method, well, in any case, ineffective. (Don't believe? Go to hh and look at the ratio of vacancies to summary).
Undoubtedly, the applicant is important to have a summary! But this is the last thing he needs to worry too much. Successful candidates get your dream job even before the announcement of the vacancy. Because successful candidates follow the system that has work done (a clear understanding of what you want to do and where to work, what skills you need and how you can position itself, in terms of value for the company, etc.) determines the outcome of the interview before time, when man crossed the threshold of the company. To do the impossible, it is important to be able to ignore the conventional.
Actually, all successful people follow the system and IMPLEMENT specific steps. This is different from most other people that Christmas promises. And do not think that successful people don't give themselves new year's resolutions!
What is the difference between new year's resolutions successful people and how to give yourself a promise that will work?
Before you know the answer, think about the new year promises you made to yourself last year.
You meet them this year?
Do you remember about them?
If not — keep reading.Category of meaningless new year's resolutions:1. To save.
Despite the fact that it is a good and constructive promise (is logical and reasonable, if a person has a goal — to buy an apartment, a vacation, etc.), without specifics it is meaningless. Because the execution plan it usually comes down to saving on little things. For example, a Cup of coffee. Such spending has no impact on the budget.2. Just START to do something.
It's not enough to get the result. The example above — going to the gym without visible changes. Of course, those who go to the gym a step ahead of those who usually plans to go "on Monday". People are often afraid to acknowledge the fact that their actions for a long time actually did not bring them the result! Indeed, the very fact that you go to the gym — already contributes to the fact that you feel good in comparison with those who are just planning. No matter what result you get.3. Work harder on what does not work or does not bring result.
For example, with the big effort to save on cups of coffee or to go to the gym instead of 3 times a week to seven!!! Still haphazard.
From the above it followed by a number of characteristics are not effective new year's resolutions:
— Not specific: "With the new year start to eat right (eat less)!" By March of this promise will be forgotten.
— Not realistic: "With the new year start going to the gym 5 times a week!" Seriously? Last year, your average was 2 times a month. Give yourself an unrealistic promise — an easy way to drive yourself into anxiety.
Based on will power, motivation and hope. And it is the enemies of the system. We say: "I move more" instead of just Parking at 500 meters or further to avoid escalators and elevators in malls. We say: "I want to go to bed earlier to better sleep!" And go, indeed, an hour earlier, but still — with your tablet or laptop, hanging out on the Internet for an hour longer.
"Side effect" intemperate new year's resolutions.
In the beginning it was about the feelings that we are not holding promises. Yes, indeed, intemperate new year's resolutions are fraught with complications.We lose credibility because we "failed".
Many psychological programs, courses and books on self-help and self-development begin with the appeal: "Learn to trust yourself!"? Why this need to learn? Yes, because we know that we can fail ourselves. We know that the moment we give ourselves another new year's resolution, somewhere deep down we understand that it is not workable.If you promise yourself from year to year, what makes you think that this year will differ from the previous five?
Characteristics of an effective new year's resolutions
Scott Addams: losers have goals, winners have a system.
Having goals is good but this is not enough. The required action plan, a clear movement towards these goals.Your promises will work in that case, if you will:
a) maximum specific
b) the real (measurable and achievable)
C) contain the dates and numbers
Note the difference:
"To lose weight since the new year" vs "Lose XX kg by March". Last you can:
A) to break into smaller and more achievable goal of "x kg – until the end of January, x kg – February, your "XX" — March.
B) to place on a wall calendar
Determine what your traits will help you accomplish new year's resolution
We all know about the benefits of positive thinking, the need to praise himself. Indeed, the ability to say sincerely to yourself: "I'm the best!" "I'm smart!", "I'm honest!", "I am disciplined!" helps a person to experience mood slumps or overcome self-doubt. But it's just common words.
When it comes to specific goals, it is important to understand which of your characteristics will help you to achieve them.
For this you need to analyze yourself from the point of view of writing "Portrait of my best me!" Remember situations in which you have already achieved the desired result and what action you did it.
"I did ... and got ....!" :
As a result of application ...., I increased profit (reduced costs) at the..."
The result is the same, x the steps which I had done regularly, I've lost a kg..."
Where to celebrate New year in Russia: 5 interesting ideasWant to be happy? Off the Internet
Agree, this is very different from the General characteristics of the above!
At least until NG is only a week left with a small practice right now, before you give yourself a new year's resolution: think about what you want to achieve by the end of this week, using the scheme (to be specific, realistic, measurable).
After all the planning we all do in January!
Do you have a goal for next year that you don't know how to achieve?
Author: Anna Gershenovich
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©