"Edible" and "inedible" emotions Bashny.Net

Remember this game? If edible, ball need to catch, if inedible in any case. On the contrary, you need much him by himself to discard.

When feelings, yours or others, I don't like when it's hard for me to take them out, I want them to do something. Remove them. Not to feel. Quickly solve the issue, out of "processed". When emotions, feelings, words, emotions I love — I'm ready to accept them. I like when I feel happy, needed, loved, good, understanding what to do.

Here is an example: my daughter a couple of days ago took blood tests. Yesterday she said she will tell the nurse about it and she was scared. I felt a sea of emotions. The child is scary! We must get it to switch, to explain that I was there was that all right, aunt have already left, she was on my lap. Then the daughter added that it was terrible to see the blood and still hurt. All. I feel like I turned it off. What to do?.. She's hurt and scared. Urgently needs her to rescue, to remove those "bad" feelings. How-to paint, to forget, to distract. But something stopped me.

I thought I'll be there, and if she's scared, she has a right to be afraid, and if she's in pain, she has the right to speak and present.

And complain, and cry, and remember as much as she needs.





I will be able to incur. I can be there for her and support her in the "bad" emotions. I can handle it, will be able to withstand. I'm not trying to "solve her problem",and to be with her in this issue.

To be with her when she is bad without offering solutions, remedies and distracted.

Not to discard it as inedible.

Another example: how many times I'm answering the question: "What's wrong with you?" or "Why are you so sad?", I gave it my problem or just complain and then, in the forehead, got ready solution. As I need to do, what to do to get out of my state. For example, my daughter was sleeping. When I complain about it to someone, even if someone asks, immediately comes retribution. In the form of recommendations, what should I do with her with you so she slept and I slept. To remove the HS to give pills, vitamins, change the mode, go to the doctor, to feed/not to feed, aerate, dressing/undressing, how and when to bathe, what to have rituals etc. do Not need all this. You just need to carry my pain, my burden with me. To share it. Not to discard it as inedible, trying to solve my problem.

Very necessary, very important to have someone who can carry, to hold, who will not collapse. Who will not divert, to turn this all into a positive and the more to drive me into guilt or shame. Someone who could just be there to listen, hear and understand.

It helps a lot!

I see we outputvalue inedible. "I'm too hard to see and feel your pain, your troubles, your feelings. Therefore, I propose a solution. So I kicked back to you. On top of adding guilt, shame, anxiety. I don't want to feel it, put it away. I give you this back." If only not to feel. Unbearable.

We can not match. Remember yourself as swallowed immunomodulators, I sprayed, squirted and rubbed, as soon as the cold or flu. "Only it didn't ache, only my daughter is not sick". Hurt bad, hurt, uncomfortable, unpleasant. But the contrary is that often to take care of you no one. And no time to be sick. We cannot 2 days to live with the temperature — rather remove it. We can't live with snot — give medicine to they were not. We can't afford to 5-7 days to be sick, it's okay though. Can't be alone. We need to quickly become better. Need the next day, somewhere to rush, so he needed to get well or not ache.

Perhaps this last example is a bit of a "different Opera", but it helps to understand the essence. We don't like suffering. Neither his nor other people. We can't suffer. Can't feel bad, I can not share with others when it is bad.



We need suffering to avoid. And suffering of others. We run from them and I'm afraid want not to feel. Apparently, the suffering was too much once...

Because of this, I find it hard to make the words and emotions of his daughter: "Go away, don't tell. I don't love you". I feel bad, I want it to stop, remove, escape or as to affect the verdict.

I'm angry and annoyed because you can't do anything about it. Instead of giving my daughter the right to be unhappy with me. Give her to me so I can give her the right to be alienated from me when she needs to. Give her the right to negative feelings and just try to stay close. Without the game of "Edible-inedible. published

Author: Jeanne Ermashova, P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © econet

Source: bloknot.live/sedobnoe-nesedobnoe/