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Single-parent families: Share with your child good!
Bashny.Net
What is incomplete family
Lately in our society many things have changed, including the family and its forms. Increased the number of illegitimate births has increased the number of divorces. As a consequence, the usual so-called single-parent families.
Single-parent families – this is the category of families where the single parent lives with the child or children of minor age and is for children of primary responsibility: moral and material.
Opinion of the psychologist: the main problems in single-parent family
In Russia, single-parent families, the vast majority are moms with children. Cases where underage children are fathers, yet isolated. Nevertheless, the problems in single-parent families of both species are similar.
The main difficulty lies in the fact that the child born from two parents and is intended by nature to gain experience from two people, one parent is "unavailable".
And if we take a family – although technically incomplete, but this is where the second parent is close on hand, child support morally and financially, often seen with him and relationships in order, with the family, most likely, all is well, and she has no more difficulties than any full.
We talk about the challenges in a truly single-parent family.
With the absence of the second parent usually involve a number of problems:
– External perception: addressed to the child questions, "Where's your dad?" "Why isn't mommy live with you?" etc., in the case of abandoned single parent, "of course, a child without a mother grows" or "fatherless, what to expect from him".
– An inner feeling of inferiority of the family: for an adult it is often lack of support and feelings of loneliness, worries about a possible relationship with a new partner, thinking things like, "what can I give the child one" and so forth.
For a child it can be low self-esteem, persistent thoughts about what "something wrong, so my mom left me", "daddy left us, and now it is bad, but I like him and miss him, I do, too bad"...
– Fatigue of a single parent: mental and physical, lack of money, time and other resources. It is interconnected with the psyche and can become both a cause and consequence of psychological problems.
How to cope with difficulties
Guiding opinion on the family (even called incomplete) as a whole and do not focus separately on the problems of the child or a lone parent, there are several rules that will help to balance the situation.
1. Adult needs are always more important.
Such an approach is not in Vogue, however it is. It relies on an adult child or children, that adult should be able to cope with the complexities of single-parent families and others. Therefore, our focus is primarily adult.
What you can do to the parent who was left alone with a child (or children) to yourself?
You need to go from simple to complex. First to try to satisfy basic physiological needs – food, sleep, enjoyable physical activity. I should probably learn for yourself that this is important not only for the parent but for the child – to be a reliable support and set a good example. You don't want your child to grow up and, like you, had some sleepless nights, not paying attention to their health and did not care about myself?
You also need to notice and pay attention to the needs of the adult in the communication, support, development, etc. So you not only fill your resources and teach the same child, but and more confident you will feel in society – at school, at work and among friends.
2. Share with your child good.
It's about what you can share with the child – for example, walks in the Park, a trip to an exhibition or skating with friends. And your good mood, interesting thoughts and ideas, plans and dreams.
3. Be sincere with the child.
No need to share with the children your anger at her ex-husband or the fear that you will not live on the salary. But to talk about the reason for your mood you need!
Children are very sensitive, but they are not psychics. If you feel bad, but you are silent about the reasons a child may associate this with you, not with the salary. And as he learned from you that sharing problems do not have, you can learn from him in 20 years, when he held his psychotherapy.
4. Give your child the opportunity to be "whole" – let him remember and love the absent parent.
This gift for many is almost a luxury. And therefore not so necessary. "Feeding and dressing, while this ... is a bad man my life happy!". It's not up to luxury...
20 phrases that are NOT supposed to tell the mother of his adult daughterEnjoy the kids while they need us
Sometimes it looks like a long and arduous journey, but he is the most grateful and so grow not only children, but also your relationship with them.published
Author: Arina Intercession
Source: apokrov.ru/psikhologiya/psikhologicheskie-stati/227-nepolnaya-semya
Lately in our society many things have changed, including the family and its forms. Increased the number of illegitimate births has increased the number of divorces. As a consequence, the usual so-called single-parent families.
Single-parent families – this is the category of families where the single parent lives with the child or children of minor age and is for children of primary responsibility: moral and material.
Opinion of the psychologist: the main problems in single-parent family
In Russia, single-parent families, the vast majority are moms with children. Cases where underage children are fathers, yet isolated. Nevertheless, the problems in single-parent families of both species are similar.
The main difficulty lies in the fact that the child born from two parents and is intended by nature to gain experience from two people, one parent is "unavailable".
And if we take a family – although technically incomplete, but this is where the second parent is close on hand, child support morally and financially, often seen with him and relationships in order, with the family, most likely, all is well, and she has no more difficulties than any full.
We talk about the challenges in a truly single-parent family.
With the absence of the second parent usually involve a number of problems:
– External perception: addressed to the child questions, "Where's your dad?" "Why isn't mommy live with you?" etc., in the case of abandoned single parent, "of course, a child without a mother grows" or "fatherless, what to expect from him".
– An inner feeling of inferiority of the family: for an adult it is often lack of support and feelings of loneliness, worries about a possible relationship with a new partner, thinking things like, "what can I give the child one" and so forth.
For a child it can be low self-esteem, persistent thoughts about what "something wrong, so my mom left me", "daddy left us, and now it is bad, but I like him and miss him, I do, too bad"...
– Fatigue of a single parent: mental and physical, lack of money, time and other resources. It is interconnected with the psyche and can become both a cause and consequence of psychological problems.
How to cope with difficulties
Guiding opinion on the family (even called incomplete) as a whole and do not focus separately on the problems of the child or a lone parent, there are several rules that will help to balance the situation.
1. Adult needs are always more important.
Such an approach is not in Vogue, however it is. It relies on an adult child or children, that adult should be able to cope with the complexities of single-parent families and others. Therefore, our focus is primarily adult.
What you can do to the parent who was left alone with a child (or children) to yourself?
You need to go from simple to complex. First to try to satisfy basic physiological needs – food, sleep, enjoyable physical activity. I should probably learn for yourself that this is important not only for the parent but for the child – to be a reliable support and set a good example. You don't want your child to grow up and, like you, had some sleepless nights, not paying attention to their health and did not care about myself?
You also need to notice and pay attention to the needs of the adult in the communication, support, development, etc. So you not only fill your resources and teach the same child, but and more confident you will feel in society – at school, at work and among friends.
2. Share with your child good.
It's about what you can share with the child – for example, walks in the Park, a trip to an exhibition or skating with friends. And your good mood, interesting thoughts and ideas, plans and dreams.
- Parents, remember that, while children are young, this is a great chance to come back to their own childhood and even to improve it. Don't deny yourself the pleasure to ride with slides, on the swings, in the sandbox build a luxurious castle or drive the ball! It will not only be a great release and stress relief for you, but also an important bridge between you and the child.
3. Be sincere with the child.
No need to share with the children your anger at her ex-husband or the fear that you will not live on the salary. But to talk about the reason for your mood you need!
Children are very sensitive, but they are not psychics. If you feel bad, but you are silent about the reasons a child may associate this with you, not with the salary. And as he learned from you that sharing problems do not have, you can learn from him in 20 years, when he held his psychotherapy.
- Talk about yourself in simple words, by refusing to accusations or sarcasm in others, shamelessly, cry or get angry, but end with the assurance that the child you love and everything will be fine. And cuddle – a must! So the child will understand what to Express your feelings and not die from a heart attack in 50 years – that's okay; make yourself available even when angry; the world is not perfect, but can cope with everything, etc.
4. Give your child the opportunity to be "whole" – let him remember and love the absent parent.
This gift for many is almost a luxury. And therefore not so necessary. "Feeding and dressing, while this ... is a bad man my life happy!". It's not up to luxury...
- However, remember that the child gave birth to both parents, and somehow in his psyche needs to live both. Something your daughter or son will like you, but something on the "left", "left" and even "missing"... You can be mad at it, ignore, or blame the child: "his father never plates won't wash!", but the child is not able to change it.
20 phrases that are NOT supposed to tell the mother of his adult daughterEnjoy the kids while they need us
Sometimes it looks like a long and arduous journey, but he is the most grateful and so grow not only children, but also your relationship with them.published
Author: Arina Intercession
Source: apokrov.ru/psikhologiya/psikhologicheskie-stati/227-nepolnaya-semya
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