Elizabeth Farrelly: We have not taught our children to be happy

Every morning when I see hundreds of sleepy young people go to work in the corporate "deadlands", I think of happiness. Rather, the big lie about happiness that our generation has been led to believe their children.

The worst disservice we have rendered, it is not inflated housing prices, so now they cannot buy it, and not heaps of harmful waste across the planet, they will have to dig. It's a lie that everyone must be happy.

We inspired their children, literally slams them in the subcortex, that happiness is the natural state of man, the necessary condition of his life. Thus, we made them unhappy.

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The root of all evil — the confusion of concepts. We both had the wrong idea of what happiness is and how it can be achieved. I have to say: I have no idea what the road will lead you to happiness. But I know for some of these roads should not go. They are the generation of 20-year-old fake world of glossy pictures of Facebook, from the binge to the therapist's couch and back.

Statistics tells us that the current young generation is under the three diseases, which are called "credit", "food" and "drink». Let's take my native Australia: the debt load of the population on average is 14.1%, but if you look at the young (24-35 years), the loans already encumbered more than 20 percent. More than half of all Australian women eat properly and don't move at all; in the age group of 16 to 24 such 72%. That to alcohol, almost one-fifth of Australians over 14 years of age drinking hazardous quantities, and the number of youth the youth has long bypassed all previous generations. Futurists predict that this generation of "immortality in the life", and it is meanwhile doing everything possible to reduce its duration. If they succeed, this will be the first time in history. From this depression, alcoholism, unhealthy habits?

Very simple: we convince them that happiness in consumption. We decided that if you do not get what we want, we become unhappy. So if we get one, we're happy! While in reality, after basic needs are met, every desire fulfilled, we become unhappy. Why? Because desires are not permanent, the satisfaction passed quickly, and between happiness and pleasure is impossible to put equality sign.

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Whatever our desires — a new fashion handbag, muscular and handsome with a Hollywood smile or another one, the last spoonful of tiramisu — they are very insidious. Desires arise when we have something there, and most of the fun we have on the anticipation. The peak occurs at the time when we get the desired result. And then what? An inevitable decline. The pleasure ended, leaving the memory too much: on a shelf in the closet or in bed, or on your waist.

But that's not all. Actually we don't need almost none of what we like want. We wish to not the thing itself; we need to show it off, the admiration of others. Most desires is a status character. Not believe? Then do the thought experiment: imagine something very valuable. For example, a couture dress, lunch at a super expensive restaurant or a luxury car. Now imagine that no one will ever know that you got it all. So is the game worth the candle?

In ancient times, modesty was considered a virtue, and the ostentatious magnificence used to be frowned upon because it led to a whole string of sins: envy, gluttony, greed, pride. But things have changed. Now, if a certain event does not cause an immediate enthusiastic response in social media, it's like it never happened at all. People are more concerned about how to make good pictures and get more likes than the event itself. What better way to expose yourself — this is what is valued today. Pride and vanity have become virtues, and modesty is a drawback.

Maybe it's not so bad? But the statistics of suicides and the epidemic of depression suggests otherwise. Perhaps we should look back at all the recipes already there. Plato and Aristotle in almost all contradict each other, except for one thing: they both believed that a happy person can only do virtuous life. In 1621 Robert Burton in his wonderful work "the Anatomy of melancholy" offered this recipe: "don't be lonely, don't be idle". Yes you are and you know it. Make friends and get to work.

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We are unhappy while we are in captivity ourselves, go on about their own petty desires. Makes us happy within the self, connection to something bigger.

Physician and philosopher Raymond Tallis builds a the hierarchy of human desires:

  • the lower tier — food and shelter,
  • the following — having fun,
  • third — approval, and status,
  • fourth, the top — art, the spiritual life and mission.
 

Obviously, the lower the tier, the easier it desires, the easier it is to satisfy them and the faster, the pleasure passes. Sustainable happiness is obtained only on the upper floor. Joy can only bring satisfaction of hunger of the highest order: the search for meaning.

That is what we are unable to explain to our children. Happiness cannot be bought. It is not when you have satisfied their desires, received the desired, bought the thing, have fun. Happiness is not a right. It is not a product. (And to be unhappy or sad is not a crime). Happiness is a by-product of targeted searches for the meaning of life. If you're lucky, you will make the search your job, as Plato, who said that philosophy is the most blessed of occupations.

 

Also interesting: a Little bit of happiness

7 habits that are quietly taking away Your happiness

 

Satisfaction of infantile desires is not happiness. People as a whole culture must evolve from the simplest of desires to difficult until you palpate lofty goal, and with it will come happiness.

It will be much better children if you stop to think about the construction of a career and try to relate their work with their beliefs. This will be more useful for you. You want to be happy? published 

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: theageofhappiness.com/posts/elizabet-farrelli-mynenauchili-detey-byt-schastlivymi/6gh4je6d3fh

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