"I'm 25, live with my parents, mom kept saying how I should dress, haircut and makeup", "I'm 37, live with children without a husband, my dad is helping financially, and mom is involved in their grandchildren, but the right to vote in the family, I do not have", "I'm 28, with my parents relationship is normal, but for every holiday mom hysterics that the whole family should be gathering at her table, and nothing else can not be, a separate note can't", "I'm 42 my mother calls several times a day and trying to control my every move", "I'm 23, live alone, father pays for my education and that calls for total obedience in all matters" — like stories, you hear a lot, they usually set the same question "How to get rid of hyperopic?"
More precisely, the question is not immediately, often the first couple of decades and live, because "nowhere to go", then begin to gradually understand the situation, to gain additional knowledge, to be aware of family scenarios to distinguish between trauma and wish to break free from destructive patterns of behaviour.
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Sometimes the magnitude of the task make people feel shocked, because they themselves like the people advanced, trying to grow and develop, but what to do with all of these imperfect family that not a single book about relationships, do not read, lectures to listen to refuse, to say nothing about the trips to the psychologist.
And let's obstreperous from abstruse terms, a serious approach to my life and digging in injuries and issues hyperprotective, and talk about food.
Still eating, the theme is a familiar face with her almost every day. That is on the table plate with soup, salad or hot dish, you need help to eat? If you two years, then, of course, not so easy with a spoon to handle. Without moms, dads and other kitchen attendants do not want to eat all the porridge Yes soup, with songs, rhymes Yes, tales is fun.
"Spoon for mom, spoon for dad, open the gate, now begins shipment of goods" and so on. But if you're fourteen, came to visit friends and dad with a spoon comes into the kitchen to feed you, you like to the situation? Not very normal, isn't it?
Have long since learned, and not only there, but also to cook and lay the table. And in twenty to twenty-five already and products to prepare meals to buy we are quite capable. While we are small and learning is, Yes, parents or other significant adults teach us based on their own system knowledge and experience, which hand to hold a spoon, a fork and a knife, draw our attention to eating noisy or sloppy, please do not put your elbows on the table, etc.
Gradually, in the kitchen rules being developed, the need to control the food process parents disappears by itself. It happens naturally, isn't it?
If the child is healthy and matured, it is visible, why is it him with a spoon walk.Of course, sometimes you want to treat them to a delicious meal, we Express our love to loved ones, but the children themselves do not mind to enjoy homemade food, despite the fact that have long grown up, know how to cook, and live separately.
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Too many good impressions and memories of grandma's pies, mom's dad's sweets and soups. But that happens not so often, except on holidays, when family gathers together, or during guest visits.
But if every day and on the same property as the interests of two adults regarding cooking, then gradually they become closely next to each other, it is also a natural process.Some want pies with potatoes, other sweet Apple pie, some pulled on vegetarianism, the other without meat can not live, some want soup, porridge and so on — scenarios of conflicts of interest, you know, is full.
And at first, like how to give each other, sometimes arguing, perhaps even silent people have, but the more radical start to different food preferences, the harder it is to negotiate, and domestic discontent accumulates.
And absolutely the natural result of this situation is the desire to separate and have a separate kitchen, private fridge, private table and everything else to be able to buy the products that you want to prepare meals to your taste and enjoy meals as more enjoyable for myself. Logically, Yes?
The stronger the desire to cook for themselves, the more determined to take responsibility for the consequences of this action. That is, I now understand that products will need to buy with their own money, spend their time for cooking, wash the dishes yourself, food in the fridge too, to keep myself, and much more.
And it seems to be expensive, not very logical, is it not better to continue to live with their parents and significantly save time and money? But know yourself, if you really wanted to cook and live on his own, then nothing can stop from radical measures. When people start talking "Oh, I would love to cook myself, but where do you find the kitchen, living separately expensive" and all that, I know for sure, that is not so hard and want. Rather, he might want it, but the responsibility for the consequences to take finally the person is not ready.
"No, you don't understand I can't hurt my mom and not have her soup with meat. If you switch to vegetarianism, she will not understand and will not make". Well, keep eating meat for mom, just love her.
It's nice to eat food not to your liking, sacrificing yourself for a loved one, but often it is that one still there comes a time when saying "I love you, but soup with more meat not want to eat", and is taken from the arguments and strength to all the hysteria about meat dishes to calmly answer, what are your feelings towards the person in no way connected with new culinary preferences. "I would have moved, but my parents are against it."
So they are therefore against what you don't see in adulthood, I do not believe that I can handle.One thing to think that already adult and independent, and another thing to be.
Our loved ones begin to accept our way of life and nutrition (since we're talking about cooking) when you start to see that we manage. But you need to keep in mind that adoption is not always mean to agree, sometimes people just suck, because we are determined and continue to go the chosen way.
Loved ones can have their own opinion on how we live and what we do, but for maturity and need to be able to accept that we might not approve of. Close gradually begin to see that Yes, the salad cuts not in my opinion, meals are prepared without salt, drinking water instead of tea, the third year not eating meat, and like as not dying.
Yes, began to live separately, but once spinning, not asking for money, sort of happy. Yeah, didn't marry who you wanted, but seems to be happy, and live together, gave birth to children, bring up, everything is OK.
Understand ,if people chose a different path, even one that is difficult to accept, but we see what he's doing, then gradually calm down and accept things as they are.
Yes, I was a child, made him sweets, they asked for more so mom fed constantly with a spoon, but all have already grown up, he prepares and eats himself, a bit sad, of course, but what to do. Yes, I was a student, didn't work, depended on us, money to pay for it, but gradually once settled, he arrived on a free, maybe a couple of years pause, to earn money and most studies pay, in parallel, a job and part of the cost assumed — without us somehow manages. The third child's birth, the parents were against it, thought grandchildren they will constantly throw up and not throw themselves somehow coping, and well.
I think the question of hyperopic removed by itself when the person is ready to make an informed choice to encounter difficulties face to face, to stop hoping that someone senior will solve for him the problems. But most of all because as it turns out — "Mom, dad, teach me to live, I know what to do!"but the family did not work, the money ran out or other problems arose, and immediately ran to the parents.
Well, because Hyper that in words one, and in fact, different. Undoubtedly, no one is immune from difficulties and problems in life, and it is normal that we can ask for help, but an adult understands that there is no obligation to help him and am very grateful, if help, and immature personality thinks he can rebel and do whatever you want, but if that is mom, dad or some other people who can "throw grandchildren" for a few months, seek gratuitous financial assistance to purchase housing or something else ("in the elderly there is accumulation, it is a pity?"), rely on the parent property, as his and other such examples.
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It turns out that the first sort of claim that senior living wrong, the food they have taste good, the appliances and the kitchen is outdated, but when the problem starts, run to parents and Eminem there is bread for both cheeks.
Independent life is determined primarily by level of responsibility and ability to solve their problems not hoping that it will make someone else. Want to be independent, be ready and what won't always be heard, understood and full. published