A priori, all parents love their children! But how to show that your child was not spoiled? Or Vice versa — that he was not scared?
Ways of expressing love to the child can be classified by four types: contact of eyes
, physical contact
, close attention
Each area is fundamentally important. Many parents (and authorities) have focused their attention on one or two areas, neglecting others. In our days too emphasizes the role of discipline, up to a total neglect of all other regions.
Often children can be disciplined, but not feel surrounded by love. In most of such cases parents, unfortunately, confused discipline with punishment, as if it were synonymous. These children behave pretty well while they still small, however, usually they are too demure, slightly gloomy and closed. They lack spontaneity, curiosity and children's surplus of joy, bubbling up, — all that is typical for a child growing up in an atmosphere of love.
It is those children who lack an emotional connection with parents, and become difficult teenagers. So we, as parents, need to focus on all aspects of manifestation of love for our child.
When you first think about eye contact, it will not seem so significant for your child. However, it inret a significant role. Open, natural, benevolent look directly in eyes to the child is significantly important not only for establishment of good communication interaction with it, but also to meet his emotional needs. Although we are not aware of this, but use eye contact as a primary means of transmitting their feelings, including love, especially to children. The child uses eye contact with parents (and other people) for emotional support. The more often parents look at the child, trying to Express his love, the more he is impregnated with this love and the fuller him the emotional tank.What is eye contact?
It just means that you look directly into the eyes of another person. Most people do not realize how this is a decisive factor. Did you ever talk to a man who stubbornly turns away, avoiding to look you in the face? It's hard to imagine, and it strongly affects our relationship to it.
Carefully just a child listens to us when we look him straight in the eye. But, unfortunately, we are "expressive" look him in the eyes, only in those moments when we criticize, we teach, rebuke, criticize, etc. Is a catastrophic mistake. The use of contact of eyes in negative sense, alas, especially effectively works, when the child is very small.
But remember that the loving look one of the main sources of emotional food for children. When a parent uses this powerful tool of control mainly in a negative way, the child cannot see its parent mainly in negative terms. Yet a small child, fear does it obedient and obedient, and externally it quite suits us. But the child grows, and the fear is replaced by anger, resentment, depression.
It would seem that the easiest way to Express your love to your child gentle touch. Nevertheless amazing fact: researches showed that most parents touch their children only necessarily: helping them to dress, get in the car, etc. You will seldom meet the parent who, in good faith, without any reason take the opportunity to gently touch your child.
This does not necessarily mean that you have to kiss or cuddle. We are talking about any physical contact: to touch the hand, to embrace for shoulders, to stroke on the head, to Pat on hair, playfully to knock, etc. If fixedly to observe how parents communicate with children, actually the majority try to minimize physical contact. This is the secret to strengthening the emotional balance of the child; to reveal this secret and apply it in practice means to succeed in the difficult role of parent.
Love your children differently!!!!