How or when can not be punished

When you are angry, to punish you want. But in some cases can not be punished, because, apart from bad, this won't do any good. When or how can not be punished?

If possible, do not punish during a meal: not metabolized nor morality, nor food. Don't punish before sleep and after sleep: the beginning and the end of the day, set the overall color of life, color of life should be light. Poorly timed penalties — the game or the time of making lessons: when a child is interested in something or very busy, the punishment is perceived only as an afterthought that you want to quickly dismiss.

3d60cfbf90.jpg



Adrian C Murray

It is impossible to punish when you are angry.

Anger tells bad decisions. If necessary, anger is can be represented, but if you are angry, or who can not keep away. Until you have thought through the consequences of punishment, not felt, how well it is received — the punishment will not give the desired effect. If there is the slightest doubt in their own actions — it is better to take a break, calm down and think it over.

Can not be punished, when the child is very bad without you.

If your son is upset or angry, your the fairest of the word is likely to evoke only anger, not understanding. With regard to small children, should not severely punish the child when he is sick or not feeling well.

Daughter wanted to make mom a gift and ended up...

You can't punish for mistakes, when the child tries.

Awkwardness, inattention, fears and just "forgot" all of it can be punished if the child did not try, did not want to do well. And if you tried, for mistakes are not punished.

In no case should not be punished for what the child is, in principle, at all desire could not cope. If the child is clumsy, why punish? If movable, like a top, then this one stage will not cope neither you nor he. These moments can only be solved gradually and not punishment.

It is impossible to punish when the issue can be resolved with kindness. First, ask, explain, or inform, the majority of questions will be removed. Punishment without warning is a protest: "what?! Why? I didn't know!"

It is impossible to punish when the punishment causes internal protest. External protests for the species is one thing, but real protest against the punishment — is another.

8e47ee3d39.jpg



Adrian C Murray

Interestingly, many very young children and some wild animals, the punishment is not valid in principle, calling only protest: reciprocal aggression, or runaway. So the punishment was working, it should be taught: to present and explain it so that there is acceptance of the punishment.

Punishment has the effect only when the punished child inside agree with him, at least understands it. The punishment is in the soul only protest is counterproductive.

 



How to calm a child who is angry — 7 effective tips

Don't need children to "love"

 

If the child is sincerely convinced that what had happened, he is not guilty, then whatever thought adults, the punishment will be ineffective. If the child feels that punishment is unfair or too strict ("for this belt is impossible!"), the result of the punishment will be only his anger. If a teenager is convinced that his stepfather has no right to punish him in principle, the usual punishment indeed will not work.

Do not rush to punish, take the time to think. Children tend to indulge in adult — to punish them. Who was the first to stop? published

 

Author: Nikolay Kozlov

 



Source: www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/kak_ili_kogda_nakazyvat_nelzya

Tags

See also

New and interesting