How not to spoil relations after the birth of a child
Ninety six million two hundred two thousand one hundred seventy five
When undergoing exciting nine months and the baby is born, all attention of parents is directed to the baby. But suddenly their personal relationship problems. How to start a parent path with minimal difficulties?
In this period of difficulty in the family there are both psychological and physiological. Often it's sexual properties.
Strength test. Young fathers a new addition to the family experience as a huge stress: someone slips into quiet depression, and someone just misunderstood the new rules. One of the reasons is the change of regime and lifestyle. Now and still no freedom, life is more routine, at night the couple a lack of sleep, and in General they do not have enough time on themselves or on each other. Men may be born a temporary illusion that it will be always, and nothing will change. Thoughts of the mother close to it, but they (if we are not talking about postpartum depression) is still perceived as a new more harmonious. Eighty nine million seven hundred sixty eight thousand three hundred fourteen
The second reason is women no longer give men the same amount of attention as the first place is a child. There may be different feelings — from sadness and resentment to the very real jealousy towards the baby, though, and in a way stupid, but, nevertheless, has reason. Also, there is the suspicion, "I'm at the moment not in itself, but only as a source of stability and prosperity".
Mothers difficult to understand how you can submit to her demands when she and so turns the whole day like a squirrel in a wheel. Jealousy of the child seems at all weird.
In the psyche of women at the same time there are changes, are not well understood satellite. The main topics of conversations become diapers and feeding, a time to communicate with my husband especially does not remain.
Fifty seven million one hundred thirty three thousand one hundred thirty one
Moreover, women, by contrast, feel his heroism with a touch of sacrifice: I was in pain-giving birth-was suffering at the time, as he was resting at home (if the birth was not a joint), and is now sitting in four walls, at that time, as husband goes to work and talks to people. In this case, you get off on the criticisms, at times unwarranted.
What a man thinks? It is unfair to me. What is the woman thinking? I have this right, because the most difficult thing gets me.
Another reason can be expressed by the phrase: the mother becomes a mom once she knows about the pregnancy and he needs to learn to be a father. A woman is more prepared for baby's arrival, men of abstract perception. The clash of these two positions can lead to serious conflict.
Seventy five million eight hundred twenty one thousand six hundred thirty five
It is important to know the birth of a child is often associated with systemic family crisis. Thus, in risk group, first of all, be a pair with a family experience of more than three years, or, on the contrary, newly married. Habits first already too well established and it is harder for them to regroup, but the second has not had time to get to know each other until the end and did not feel like a "separate pair".
Back to the senses. The first commandment: to remember that this is temporary and it will get easier. The child grows up, and the picture of the world will look different. In the end, your husband is the same person who was dear to you, and that means you will overcome difficulties. Razgovarivala with your spouse. You need to find out what you are most concerned about, and accordingly, explain your feelings. The main thing — do not hold grudges for long periods of time and do not load each other's "General allegations": "you're not paying me time", "you forgot about me". Use more specifics. Ask them to help her husband to babysit while you go to shower, make peeling, and soak for half an hour on the couch, doing light meditation.
And do not ignore the wishes of the spouse. Soft and constructive manner explain that without help you can not cope.
By the way, for help. Definitely (not bending the stick) attract your companion to care for the child. Don't be afraid to leave the baby with daddy for an hour, not "hammer" it initiatives.
Continue to be interested in the Affairs of each other.
If you have assistants-enthusiasts, do not hesitate to use their support. Important now, even for a little while, to be together, to remember how it all happens. In the early days it's hard, but in the first months it is already possible to make forays in the movies and on walks.
Intimacy does not offer. The failure of women and sex is something that becomes the last straw and pushes the man to conclusions about its "uselessness". The first three to four weeks doctors for different reasons, recommend to refrain from intimate life, and the question disappears by itself.
The woman refuses sex because of General fatigue and depression. Routine, chores, all the time I want to sleep, what kind of sex life!
There are some physiological characteristics — the thrill of sex change (by the way, it can sense and man), a woman experiencing painful discomfort. During pregnancy the body worked differently and he needs to return to "normal". Someone to do this quite a bit of time and someone this process may take up to six months. Occur and hormonal changes produced by prolactin and oxytocin decrease sexual desire.
There are reasons physiological properties. A woman on a new feel your body, which often, after pregnancy and childbirth undergoes certain changes. A list of possible contraception (if the woman is breastfeeding), several tapers, for example, are excluded familiar to many oral contraceptives. And at night added to the anxiety that the child will require attention.
If it is not about fatigue, it is necessary to bring the spouse to the resolution of this problem, explaining motivation. You must have at least a couple times a week to get enough sleep and rest.
Painful sensations are eliminated by using lubricants.
You can start small — just tactile contact, tender touches, oral sex. New condition — a great excuse to try new poses that will be most comfortable.
You should bear in mind that for women sex is largely "in the head", so the more it will give away stereotypes and complexes about his own body and things, the easier the process will go. With the right approach, after delivery sex becomes brighter and richer.