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Virtual communication gives opportunity that had not existed before, but they could also bring their relationship to disaster. This warn researchers romantic relationships in social networks.
How to behave loving people? Usually they hold hands, give each other smiles, compliments and kisses, and their state of mind reminiscent of flying. But communication is not only limited to personal contact, a huge part of it today moved in the virtual space, which has been going on in social networks. And what do we see there? A lot of likes, romantic songs, images and videos, endless feed of conversations and statuses. Where the same without them. Many of us just need to know that we have a relationship, we are happy and our partner is a real ideal. Why such openness? Because apart from our friends, ready to celebrate, there are those who we call envy and other forms of aggression. So why once again expose themselves under attack? But no. We continue to share your love with those whom it is not intended. As a result, the network relations have become so transparent that psychologists and sociologists is not easy to predict their future.
Did the data scientists at Facebook, who conducted an experiment and learned that even before man and woman declare themselves to be the couple in the social network and change their status, information about it is already possible to detect.
The study involved many couples whose relationship status has changed from 2010 to 2013. The study authors note that the emergence of one or the other of the pair on Facebook is possible for 100 days before people announce about the relationship yourself. This is due to the fact that in the active period of the relationship the lovers constantly like posts and photos to each other, leave on the walls a lot of posts and comments. The highest activity point of the virtual displays of affection recorded 12 days before changing the pair status in the social network. It was during this period loving people leave an average of two records a day on the walls of each other. But after their family situation changed, people begin to spend more time together in reality, which leads to a decrease in the number of social networks. And wrote about the researcher, "Facebook" Carlos Duke in his blog on February 14 (Valentine's Day).
But he also noticed another feature which appears in the communicating pairs in the virtual space. With a decrease in the number of posts change their content. The entries become more gentle, sensual and explicit, whereas before they were much more modest and restrained. One of the reasons is that the importance of others with respect to the partner is reduced, there is a desire to devote themselves only to the object of their feelings and not to discuss their love with friends. But there is another reason. The fact that changes in status of family relationships, backed up by concrete action in the social network, lovers provides new powers. They have the right to declare openly that this person is their partner with whom they share a romantic relationship. According to psychologists, thus lovers want to protect their territory from foreign invasions. In other words, along with romantic feelings one of the leading becomes the motif of jealousy, and in some cases lovers begin to show respect to the partner's proprietary behavior.
BACK INTO SOCIETY
Attracted the attention of researchers in the age of Facebook user behavior and in the period of breakup with their partners. It was observed that on the day of the breakup and the change of status and some time after that, the intensity of communication with friends is increased by 225%, which suggests the importance of such events and finding emotional support. The nature of the records users are also changing, often posts and comments are becoming negative connotation that is associated with the desire to splash out negative emotions and to share their experiences with others.
Of course, such behavior is understandable, because the breakup is rarely easy and the person as soon as possible want to get rid of oppressive loneliness and longing. But sharing your emotions with your friends, we partially shift his burden on them, why us it becomes easier.
Continuing the study of users "Facebook", Adrian, Frigeri and Carlos Duke has made other interesting observations. Especially for those who are desperate to find a mate, the researchers identified the U.S. cities, home to most individuals. Among them were Detroit, Los Angeles, new York, Miami and Memphis. But to look for partners, according to the authors, better where a lot of couples, because in such an environment, the desire of single people to arrange a personal life is only growing. Therefore, in search of family happiness is to go to Colorado springs, El Paso, Louisville, Fort worth and San Antonio. Psychologists, commenting on the findings, hold a similar view. A positive emotional climate that surrounds the happy couples positively affects other people, improving their mood and encouraging the search for their mate.
PASSWORDS AND BORDERS
No less interesting are the conclusions made in the Pew Research: results of the sociological survey showed that two thirds of people with a stable relationship, provided partners with access to their social media accounts, i.e. trust them with passwords and other sensitive information. Some researchers believe that this gesture speaks about true openness and trust partners. But is it really? Indeed, to some extent, this confirms the sincerity of the relationship means that the partners hide nothing. But there are other circumstances. Often one or both partners seek to control the other, so by providing your password from your account in the social network, they are first and foremost pursuing a different goal: to access the page for their mate to know and control everything. How does this affect the relationship? Of course, the negative, as any person needs personal space and time for himself. But when one partner may at any time to invade the territory of another, over time, this leads to conflict. Especially it is not necessary to share such personal information at the initial stage of the relationship, when the Foundation only is laid and partners strive to show their best side.
In the study, pollsters Pew Research also found out that 16% of people aged 25 to 44 years gave the partners access to their email and online calendar. The authors attribute this to the fact that people belonging to this age category, concerned with issues of family, career and life in General, so as to adapt to the partner and to have a General plan, they tell him the password from the mail or calendar. But here we must be careful not to destroy personal borders completely, because sometimes private should remain private.
Undeniable, the simple and clear thought wonderful, our beloved storyteller Antoine de Saint-Exupery: "the Only true luxury – the luxury of human communication". Perhaps not so important, real or virtual plane start to chat with people, stepping on their roads, of loneliness, interest, search, adventure. Speaking about today's virtual partner communication, which is already by default an invisible chip screwed in to the program of our consciousness, we can only speculate whether this is good or bad. Begins the conversation of a man with a woman is always under the influence of the hormonal surge. Then we are busy with each other, as a caring Cockerel and a hen. To be on the same chicken yard life with your partner, to be able to preserve and affection, and interest, and reasonable autonomy is the main mechanism durable Union. Reality and virtuality here only the scheme component of communication.
Anna KOTENEVA, psychologist
IN ONE ROOM
Another observation is associated with messages of an intimate nature, or, as he called this communication scholars, sexting. Sexy message, said in the Pew Research, increase the activity of users of all age groups in social networks whether they are paired or alone. Of course, sexting is more common among those 18 to 24, and among older people this phenomenon has been observed. One of the researchers, Jane Greer, commenting on the virtual part of the relationship, noted that it should be measured and have a minimal impact on lovers: it is possible that over time, the quantity and quality of real communication in pairs will be reduced significantly and to communicate with each other people are through Facebook, even being in the same room and having the opportunity to speak in person. Many of us have a few, are active users of social networks, blog and generally spend enough time in virtual space. But, while there, don't forget about the main thing: real people and real feelings exist in reality, and the above relationship, the pair needs to operate continuously, otherwise you can not see how the conflict will Mature and you will be surprised – after all, on the page in "Facebook" marital status has not changed, but your spouse has in fact already Packed her bags and slammed the door.