10 questions to ask yourself before abusing a child

A vicious circle of problems is that children's disobedience starts to annoy when you're already angry and annoyed. And in this condition rare parent capable of adequately assessing the situation. So I decided to write a special checklist.

So, before you scold the disobedient child — view to the list:

— Do not contradict your requirements age features? Small children are not able to tolerate and expect strong short-term desires at preschool age successfully displace seemingly internalized the rules and regulations and years before 9-11, not yet formed strong-willed sphere, the child often follows his “want” and not your “needs”.

— Do you understand the reasons for the behavior of the child, his needs, desires? Look at the situation from the child will not necessarily solve the problem. But this is the first step to negotiate to find a compromise.

— Take into account whether the child's condition? Maybe he is tired and hungry? He was terrified (and this should be treated seriously, no matter how trifling seemed the fears of childhood). May be disinhibited, so not in control of himself and does not hear you? Here we want to recall the words of Ross Greene's books “the Explosive child”: “Children behave well, if you can.”

— Do not suppress whether your requirements are natural mechanisms of development? Consider the habit of the child to climb everywhere, touch it, taste it, look inside different items as your punishment but as a blessing that will allow a few years to learn a million important things.

— Offend the child's behavior or the suspicion that he does “evil”? Most of us kept a load of old grudges. But sometimes it is necessary to remember that the sandbox is behind us, and now we don't have to call names in response and to fight back, especially if the “offender” is our own child.

— If you don't fight with the physiological characteristics of the child, whether reasonable your requirements? To lull the word and the word to whet the appetite, you have to become a hypnotist.

— If you do not shift the responsibility on the child for his carelessness, forgetfulness, laziness?

— Do you know how to do to cooperate and negotiate, can I teach this child? Whether you're doing something that the child heard you?

— Do you not overestimate the representation of the child about the dangers, its ability to foresee the consequences of their actions?

Not do you deny the right of the child to their own desires, interests, motivations?

 

Source: www.ecology.md