Self-assertion at the expense of others Bashny.Net

People is such that he needs to feel their own importance, to understand that he achieved something in life, costs something. This need permeates all human life from its highest to the very lowest manifestations. Affirmation may take many forms. For some people words of affirmation and fulfillment are synonymous.





But there are others – those who bolsters herself with contempt for others.

What is self-assertion at the expense of other people? Why and when it occurs?

Man, self-affirming at the expense of others is committed to everyone to prove that he is better and smarter than others that he is always right, he always knows everything, etc, etc.

There is a form of self-affirmation in childhood, when under certain conditions a person develops a "syndrome of false superiority".

Assert itself at the expense of other person requires constant confirmation of self worth, their own superiority. How does this happen? It is easier to strengthen your own opinion about themselves by belittling others. And this can be done through the humiliation and insult, criticism and condemnation, unfounded allegations, the constant search for flaws in others, authoritarianism, and the veneer of importance, the constant desire by the dispute to defend their point of view.

That is self-affirming so people unconsciously seek to prove that other people are worse than him, therefore he is better. The more a person finds flaws in others, the more confident and comfortable feeling. But this comfort does not last long, and after a while he again needed a new piece of the feeling of superiority.

The reasons for this behavior, and the causes of most of our problems must be sought in childhood:

it can be a feeling of rejection and rejection itself, which is a consequence of the lack of love and support.

unexamined childhood traumas and resentments;

psychological violence;

the feeling of fear;

authoritarianism and authoritativeness of important people, usually parents;

Often, these people look aggressive and confident individuals with high self-esteem. However, this is merely a facade. And if you look deeper, you can see an insecure person with low self-esteem who seeks internally to close, to hide from their feelings and problems.

I do not remember who said:

"A successful man will never shouting about himself that he's successful.

Shouting usually losers and useless people who assert themselves at the expense of others."

In the psychology of self-affirmation at the expense of others is often seen as a compensatory and protective mechanism that help people to defend themselves against unresolved problems. Here you can draw a parallel with our physical body. If, for example, one kidney does not function or is removed, the second begins to perform the function of both.

Likewise man, self-affirming by others, seeking a sense of superiority to compensate for his insecurities, his fear of unresolved internal problems.

These people feel vulnerable, deprived of attention. Therefore, do not find anything better in its quest to attract the attention begin to throw dust in the eyes, boast of their (even the smallest ones!) achievements, to insult, to humiliate. Sometimes the desire to assert themselves at the expense of others leads to the fact that people always and everywhere late, seeking thereby to emphasize their uniqueness. But it's distorted superiority does not bring them satisfaction, and often makes it worse. Such a person is in need of support, in an atmosphere of goodwill and acceptance.

But any goodwill and understanding of others can not be infinite, if the person is unwilling to change himself, not willing to meet face to face with their problems. As a result, such people often remain alone.

The situation may change radically only in one case: if a person changes the form of self-assertion and, as it is banal and pathetic it sounds, will begin to work on yourself and grow as a person.

источник:v-garmonii-s-soboi.ru

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