10 facts about marriage is a guide that will help to keep the family together
Seventeen million three hundred ninety five thousand four hundred forty eight
If we could offer some instruction that would help to harmonize and normalize the challenges each of us faces in any intimate partnership, I can only imagine how to change divorce statistics.
When we do not understand what is normal, it is easy to assume that it's you, your partner or your relationship is something wrong. This often is the reason that people split or divorce.
Here are 10 facts about marriage that no one will tell you. This is just the sort of mini guide that will help you understand what is normal (and, moreover, that sometimes it is necessary!) to save your marriage:
1. Marriage does not complete you
Contrary to Jerry Maguier and phrases like "find the one" or "soulmate" normal marriage is the presence of two full-fledged partners who are working to create their love child. In other words, one plus one means no one, not even two, but three. You are responsible only for their own viability and integrity, and your partner own.
2. You will not always feel attracted to your partner
Despite the fact that mind we understand it, but the lack of attraction in marriage causes most people to panic. We are a society brought up on certain images, and the media we constantly hear that if you are not attracted to your partner, then you are with the right person. But it's actually not like that.
We see our partners from different sides – from elegant apparel for an event and ending with the time of feed of the toilet after he or she has a little too much fun. But even in a single day, and sometimes hour your attraction may vary, and this is perfectly normal. Realize this and you will be able to avoid a lot of anxiety on the topic: "what's wrong?".
3. You will not always like your partner
His jokes will drive you crazy. Her laughter can be compared to the sound when the nail Scrabble Board. It's just a result of what you a huge amount of time spend with one and the same person. When we talk about friendship or their loved ones the fact that we have something these people might not like, we do not mind. And when it comes to our spouse, it seems that in each other we all must make.
4. Love is just a phase relationship, and it won't last forever
The pattern of romance: "You meet, fall in love and live happily ever after." We miss important stage: the stage where love disappears. As one of my clients: "I was supposed to love yet did not understand what real love is". We seldom mentioned about this.
And if you are not going through a stage of fascination, it does not mean that your relationship is doomed! For some people it is, others do not, and there is absolutely no connection between romance and a successful marriage.
5. Love can become stronger over time, and if you attach to this effort
We grew up with the idea that there are two States: either we are in a state of love or not; no middle ground. And we believe that love is measured – "Enough much you love your partner?" and we need to strive for as "everything that was in the beginning of the relationship, should remain at the end of the relationship."
The truth is that the love becomes stronger. Love is like an empty garden that requires attention and care, and when it is thoroughly watered and uproot the weeds, the flowers will bloom throughout life.
6. You don't have to feel love to give it
In our society, stating that love is only a feeling, and it is very easy to lose sense in a time when loving feelings disappear. Then follow the advice: "sterpitsya - slyubitsya", but they did not receive affection in return, you must give her your second half. Although you still do not kiss in the morning, but you do it all the time.
7. Sex is meant to receive and to give
The lack of any basics about one of the most important aspects in our lives – sexuality, sad, and sometimes also plays with us a cruel joke. From pop culture, from their peers, but now more and more of porn, we find out that sex is what we use for approval and protection. Healthy sex has nothing to do with these things. Making love is an expression of love, an act of communication in which you practice the art and skills "gave-received".
8. Marriage is a severe test, which is given to you for your own development
Marriage has nothing to do with "happily ever after". It's not the end of your path, not a place of eternal happiness. Marriage is one of the most difficult challenges in the life of every person.
Marriage activates each element of sadness, fear, irritation, anger, distrust. The relationship is often a period of lapping each other too long.
9. Your first joint ideas about personal pastime show the true value of your intentions
If your marriage is exemplary, it is likely you failed to engage all the necessary actions and principles for a successful marriage.
On the other hand, if your marriage is constant criticism, resentment, strife or resentment, you will have to deal with it every time.
This is no easy task. But the fact that you faced such a problem does not mean that you chose the wrong person. If you really love each other, then the problem is a sign that you are opposed to this razvijenosti in your family, this is a chance to create a new, good relationship.
10. Life with small children is stressful
So is the stress that will be put down, but at the same time and this is the great happiness. This can affect even the most successful marriage. I often think that it's a small miracle that a couple have after the baby is born, each of you starts to pay less attention to each other and marriage slowly begin to suffer. Need to find a middle ground and to be understanding in the first difficult years.
This knowledge will help you to experience a series of problems for many years.
Remember that it is very important to always find time for yourself and for your partnership in General.