The psychology of abuse

This article focuses on the psychology of abuse. I am sure that You people cultured and considerate, nasty don't tell anyone. But it so happens that in the course of the conversation, You offended.

You are trying to understand what made him so hurt that I hurt? Not finding the answer, You are, however, painfully ask myself the question: "if I'm a boor? If I do not offend people? Even if it comes out involuntarily, unconsciously".





Let's try to understand this question. Perhaps, it is more logical to start with the types of rudeness. It is cultural and psychological.

Rudeness can give the following definition: offensive treatment of one person with another (to another), which directly affects personality and traits; where one person deliberately puts himself above the other, strongly emphasizes their superiority in intellect by wrong communication and behavior with a partner. The one who is rude, does not consider for equal, adequate and intelligent someone is rude.

Cultural rudeness, all just. If You are not expressly called a man a fool, idiot, jerk, or other obscene words – everything is fine.

Harder with rudeness psychological. Go directly to the example. Think about the phrase: "You misunderstood me". At the level of consciousness everything is in order. Well, I did not understand one other person – who does not happen. And at that time reads our subconscious? Dear Reader, You are absolutely right – this phrase means "You fool!".

After all, I consider myself a Smart man and great Speaker who is Available and Clearly explain the material. So much is Available, it is Clear that it must be Smart Adequate to Each Person. But again I do not understand (and I have a good opinion of himself), so, considering yourself right, I subconsciously called interlocutor a fool.

It is obvious that an intelligent man "NOT" can only understand the fool. An example of this can be a funny saying from my childhood: "Fools law does not apply if written then not Citan, and if Citan, not understood, if understood, it is not so."

I bring to Your attention a number of phrases, the use of which should be avoided so as not to offend Your interlocutor: "You must understand". "Calm down." "How many times must I repeat myself!" "You understand nothing!" "Well, how can you not know this?" "What, You don't know such elementary things???" "If you understood everything from the first word!". This list is far from complete.

The psychology of abuse and knows much more complex types of rudeness. Here are some of them:

A) when the person saying the obvious, like: "do you know the Earth is round". Thus, as it were hinting at the level of low intelligence – in fact, in Your opinion, it is these things do not know.

But if you already want to tell a trite platitude, it is advisable to add this sentence: "Perhaps you've been (seen, heard, read, watched) in...". Only if the response would be: "No, not seen, not heard...", then it makes sense to share this information with someone.

B) when communicating with someone there is a criticism of an abstract person in the third person. For example, "Sasha, do you know a person who smokes, does wrong, he is ruining your health". However, if Sasha is not Smoking, the phrase for it is deprived of all meaning, as it does not have to it any relation. But if smoke – rightly considers her for insulting his personality.

C) to give advice when not asked;

G) to teach didactic tone;

D) attempt to re-educate anyone;

E) to criticize the interests and Hobbies of the person;

G) to refuse to improve when You it offers a superior;

H) to justify and explain their actions. For example, one of my interlocutor often once joked, saying: "that's a joke", thereby unconsciously calling me a fool because only a fool could not understand that it was just a joke.

) If You are dealing with a professional in any field of activity, rudeness is the praising and admiration for another person of the same profile as the first specialist. That is, in the presence of the writer, you can only talk about it, but not about other writers.

K) without recommendations a doctor, You subconsciously consider him a fool. After all, time is not performed, hence believe them to be stupid, wrong, not suitable or meaningless.

Of course, You already know who gives stupid advice.

Perhaps, some moments I'm missing, but I think that the General sense of psychological rudeness is very clear.published

Author: Yuri Plowshares

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

 

Source: www.facebook.com/cross.club.ru/posts/1047409658621928:0