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7 in vain the female anxieties
Fears and worries are completely unfounded and empty. But these are most often spoil life, because to defeat the ethereal imagination really hard.
To be able to recognize false alarms – very useful skill. It helps to focus on real problems, not contrived.
We have selected seven of the most common women's problems, which in most cases are not worth so much mental and physical strength. Psychologist Hope Barysheva, psychiatrist-psychotherapist at the center for innovative psychotherapy Helpandhope says, where are these concerns and what to do with them.
1. I'm ugly (fat)
One of the main female that worries about appearance. And care she even painted beauties. Who of us was not looking in the mirror non-existent drawbacks and appalled by the testimony of weights?
No matter how much was written that the standards are conditional, and the perfect appearance of celebrities – the work of makeup artists and photo editors, we continue to torture yourself about the different drawbacks of face, figure, skin and shapes. Few people think at this moment that there are those who dream about such data.
The comment of the expert. "Most of the looks are concerned those who are single and searching. But they should remember that in addition to the beautiful wrapper there is an inner content, which provides the duration and depth of a relationship.
It is important to understand in order to appreciate you need to learn to accept yourself, to engage and invest in yourself the strength to learn, to master different skills. But the struggle for the beautiful "facade" to hide insecurities, complexes, with whom we must fight."
2. All too well!"The house – a full bowl, meteoric career, healthy children, and a husband – the perfect man. There must be a catch?" For many it's hard to believe, but there are girls who are concerned with their own good luck. Instead of enjoy life, they are in search of the trap.
We used to overcome the difficulties and struggle that are not able to enjoy the already comfortable environment and continue to look around. Forgetting to live in the moment and enjoy the peace that is here and now.
The comment of the expert. "When all is well, the question arises about the meaning of life and self-realization, it is interesting, what so special did I do, what are, why you live. Is difficult to answer. We need to understand what he wants the identity and implement. But there is the same search trick. Sooner or later, we find him to heroically overcome, a feeling of importance.
If not there are problems in the external world, attention will switch on. Begin headaches, migraines and allergies. When we expect trouble, they happen. We unconsciously do everything to get them. It is necessary to realize the destructiveness of such reactions, to abandon the habit of fear and to learn to see what is good and joyful".
3. I am surrounded by enemies and enviousIn my life enough chances to start to suspect everyone of dishonesty and meanness. We may think that enemies are hiding behind masks friendly neighbors, lovely colleagues and school friends, can't trust anyone. Life becomes a minefield, pass which can only be observing all safety precautions.
But in the end it threatens loneliness, lack not only the normal close relationship, but ordinary communication. How many try to build relationships, all attempts will break on their own suspicion and mistrust.
The comment of the expert. "This perception repels others, so no true friends, no loved ones, for such a world not yet created. This setting may be a serious symptom of mental illness.
But even if this were not so, we must learn to change their thinking. To see the good in people and remember that we have a lot of shortcomings, and we are not saints, and all around are people too with features. All have both pluses and minuses, but more useful to concentrate on the good."
Unhappy woman can become the center of conflict in the family.
4. I can't do it with your child
So never in my life thought only those who have no children. This anxiety is typical of every mother that wants to give best to the child. Such ideas come in different everyday situations: when a son or daughter comes home with a broken knee, brings a deuce in the diary, asserting itself in the transition to adulthood and slams the door.
We forget that the child is a separate person with their mistakes and life experiences. We blame ourselves in not being able to live life instead of, or to protect against failure.
The comment of the expert. "Every parent, when children have troubles, think about his fault. But his task is not a clone to grow, but rather an independent person.
Not built parental patterns that are themselves not free from prejudices and complexes, and self-sufficient person who develops, adapts and learns to communicate. Always remember how important it is to give children the opportunity to draw conclusions and perceive their mistakes as a learning experience and not reproach of conscience."
5. My husband is cheating on me (don't liket)is Not a secret that this happens. Men change, love and live with us only for the children, shared housing, and the habit. But sometimes our suspicions are only due to the fact that the experience of others, or echoes of past betrayal.
We are looking for signs of adultery, the evidence of ties, compare the graphics and required a confession of love. But instead of evidence we get irritated and tired of the visual signal.
The comment of the expert. "The anxiety is exhausting and men. It's hard to live in the atmosphere of suspicion, excuses, afraid to stay longer at work or with friends, or pick up the phone and do not reply to the message. To a small degree it may like it, but over time will cause fatigue, or as a response, the desire to really go and do what he is suspected.
Therefore, if you have doubts that your man can have a relationship with another, more useful to think that your relationship went wrong."
6. I have nothing to loveHow often we say little girls who had just been scolded by parents! A lot of children's complexes we brought into adulthood. Works in us the belief that love for what we do not and can not be. For this reason, we guard ourselves from close, not noticing the unconditional love that we give only for what we are.
Reason, looking for the missing keys to happiness and believe that once in possession of the long-awaited perfect figure, all-round education and docile nature, happiness will come to us with universal love. And when hope is not true, even more convince ourselves that love us still don't.
The comment of the expert. "The problem of insecurity in one form or another is common to many. It is important to understand that no matter what, there are people who genuinely love us, whatever we were. Everyone is not perfect. Look, there will always be something that will make you special in the eyes of others".
7. I'm a bad employeework concerns us not less work personal and home. Despite the fact that in Russia women with higher education more than men, that we're worried about professional failures. Any failure is perceived not as an experience and as proof of insolvency. We are afraid we can't afford a serious position that we're lacking skills and we know something worse than others. Sure there are dozens of worthy, and missing career chances.
The comment of the expert. "Here is perfectionism, fear of failure and condemnation, guilt rule and hinder the ability to develop. We suffer from of worthlessness, that feeling of devoting a lot of time. Some years go in vain experiences of their own mistakes. But it is better not to join them and to remember that the right to have all errors, but you can make the right conclusions from it and move forward." published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: domashniy.ru/
To be able to recognize false alarms – very useful skill. It helps to focus on real problems, not contrived.
We have selected seven of the most common women's problems, which in most cases are not worth so much mental and physical strength. Psychologist Hope Barysheva, psychiatrist-psychotherapist at the center for innovative psychotherapy Helpandhope says, where are these concerns and what to do with them.
1. I'm ugly (fat)
One of the main female that worries about appearance. And care she even painted beauties. Who of us was not looking in the mirror non-existent drawbacks and appalled by the testimony of weights?
No matter how much was written that the standards are conditional, and the perfect appearance of celebrities – the work of makeup artists and photo editors, we continue to torture yourself about the different drawbacks of face, figure, skin and shapes. Few people think at this moment that there are those who dream about such data.
The comment of the expert. "Most of the looks are concerned those who are single and searching. But they should remember that in addition to the beautiful wrapper there is an inner content, which provides the duration and depth of a relationship.
It is important to understand in order to appreciate you need to learn to accept yourself, to engage and invest in yourself the strength to learn, to master different skills. But the struggle for the beautiful "facade" to hide insecurities, complexes, with whom we must fight."
2. All too well!"The house – a full bowl, meteoric career, healthy children, and a husband – the perfect man. There must be a catch?" For many it's hard to believe, but there are girls who are concerned with their own good luck. Instead of enjoy life, they are in search of the trap.
We used to overcome the difficulties and struggle that are not able to enjoy the already comfortable environment and continue to look around. Forgetting to live in the moment and enjoy the peace that is here and now.
The comment of the expert. "When all is well, the question arises about the meaning of life and self-realization, it is interesting, what so special did I do, what are, why you live. Is difficult to answer. We need to understand what he wants the identity and implement. But there is the same search trick. Sooner or later, we find him to heroically overcome, a feeling of importance.
If not there are problems in the external world, attention will switch on. Begin headaches, migraines and allergies. When we expect trouble, they happen. We unconsciously do everything to get them. It is necessary to realize the destructiveness of such reactions, to abandon the habit of fear and to learn to see what is good and joyful".
3. I am surrounded by enemies and enviousIn my life enough chances to start to suspect everyone of dishonesty and meanness. We may think that enemies are hiding behind masks friendly neighbors, lovely colleagues and school friends, can't trust anyone. Life becomes a minefield, pass which can only be observing all safety precautions.
But in the end it threatens loneliness, lack not only the normal close relationship, but ordinary communication. How many try to build relationships, all attempts will break on their own suspicion and mistrust.
The comment of the expert. "This perception repels others, so no true friends, no loved ones, for such a world not yet created. This setting may be a serious symptom of mental illness.
But even if this were not so, we must learn to change their thinking. To see the good in people and remember that we have a lot of shortcomings, and we are not saints, and all around are people too with features. All have both pluses and minuses, but more useful to concentrate on the good."
Unhappy woman can become the center of conflict in the family.
4. I can't do it with your child
So never in my life thought only those who have no children. This anxiety is typical of every mother that wants to give best to the child. Such ideas come in different everyday situations: when a son or daughter comes home with a broken knee, brings a deuce in the diary, asserting itself in the transition to adulthood and slams the door.
We forget that the child is a separate person with their mistakes and life experiences. We blame ourselves in not being able to live life instead of, or to protect against failure.
The comment of the expert. "Every parent, when children have troubles, think about his fault. But his task is not a clone to grow, but rather an independent person.
Not built parental patterns that are themselves not free from prejudices and complexes, and self-sufficient person who develops, adapts and learns to communicate. Always remember how important it is to give children the opportunity to draw conclusions and perceive their mistakes as a learning experience and not reproach of conscience."
5. My husband is cheating on me (don't liket)is Not a secret that this happens. Men change, love and live with us only for the children, shared housing, and the habit. But sometimes our suspicions are only due to the fact that the experience of others, or echoes of past betrayal.
We are looking for signs of adultery, the evidence of ties, compare the graphics and required a confession of love. But instead of evidence we get irritated and tired of the visual signal.
The comment of the expert. "The anxiety is exhausting and men. It's hard to live in the atmosphere of suspicion, excuses, afraid to stay longer at work or with friends, or pick up the phone and do not reply to the message. To a small degree it may like it, but over time will cause fatigue, or as a response, the desire to really go and do what he is suspected.
Therefore, if you have doubts that your man can have a relationship with another, more useful to think that your relationship went wrong."
6. I have nothing to loveHow often we say little girls who had just been scolded by parents! A lot of children's complexes we brought into adulthood. Works in us the belief that love for what we do not and can not be. For this reason, we guard ourselves from close, not noticing the unconditional love that we give only for what we are.
Reason, looking for the missing keys to happiness and believe that once in possession of the long-awaited perfect figure, all-round education and docile nature, happiness will come to us with universal love. And when hope is not true, even more convince ourselves that love us still don't.
The comment of the expert. "The problem of insecurity in one form or another is common to many. It is important to understand that no matter what, there are people who genuinely love us, whatever we were. Everyone is not perfect. Look, there will always be something that will make you special in the eyes of others".
7. I'm a bad employeework concerns us not less work personal and home. Despite the fact that in Russia women with higher education more than men, that we're worried about professional failures. Any failure is perceived not as an experience and as proof of insolvency. We are afraid we can't afford a serious position that we're lacking skills and we know something worse than others. Sure there are dozens of worthy, and missing career chances.
The comment of the expert. "Here is perfectionism, fear of failure and condemnation, guilt rule and hinder the ability to develop. We suffer from of worthlessness, that feeling of devoting a lot of time. Some years go in vain experiences of their own mistakes. But it is better not to join them and to remember that the right to have all errors, but you can make the right conclusions from it and move forward." published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: domashniy.ru/
