Is it true that all the problems of childhood?

I don't know, whether it's childless people, and modern parents are already all ears buzzed that child grow up without the trauma does not work. Not one other parent act, or behavior, or, conversely, inaction in some very important point we harming their children. And then they live with this trauma all my life and suffer until good psychologist will not come.

What about the fact that psychological trauma is a common thing, I would agree. And they lie for a variety of events: someone gave to the garden, where he did not want to go, and the other – on the contrary, left home, and now this fact explains their inability to communicate; someone not bought a piano, and the other bought and forced against his will to study at a music school; someone kept the severity, and to another all was allowed, and now he is spineless and weak-willed people. And the list is endless and covers extremes from one end of the scale to the other.

© Daniel Aaron Sprague

But the fact that it is an insurmountable hopelessness, to accept not going.

The task of parents to protect their children from emotional wounds. Not at all. The task of parents to children, when faced with a traumatic event, has learned to adapt and move on. Becoming more resilient and unsinkable.

It's like the splinter from the wound to pull out. Her memory will remain, but the pain she had to deliver will not. Or how to transfer the disease. The body will recover, but will strengthen the immune system.

Now the task of the psychologists working with parents and writing articles for them, becomes a matter of shifting focus. Not to the ideal image of the mother should strive for. And avoid childhood trauma at any cost. Although, of course, to take into account the age of the children it is necessary. If a four year old baby kitten was lost, having got under the car, no need to tell the child about the details of this incident.

Need to tell parents where to look, what to pay attention to. How to be sensitive and receptive. How to be able to understand when and what event is traumatic for the child, and help him through it immediately, not forcing the trauma into the psyche.

This is probably the most difficult for the parent task to demonstrate sensitivity, empathy. To see in the child an immature person, fragile and vulnerable.

When we are in deaf defense, it is difficult to consider because of the gentle took the soul of another. Our own childhood rumbles for us armor neprodovolstvennyh injury, not experienced, not mourned. And my heart is numb.

To soften his heart, still "splinter" is extracted, adults also vital for the process of adaptation. Remember that mom was always busy that day at work, in the evening on the farm; he had not read books aloud; do not hug, even a smile is rare. What is the worst part of my day was the sound of a key turning in the door, because now I begin to scold, and that is always there. To otherevery this irreparable loss, weep my tears of futility to the bottom and look at their own children with different eyes.

And now, when you hear that "all the problems of childhood, because my parents....", you will be able to substitute the universal for all "Because I still not yet adapted". published

Author: Tatiana Elimousin


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