The right thing may be to build any relationship: less attention paid to what a person, but more to listen to what you're feeling with him.
There is a beautiful expression that walks through the statuses in social networks: "I love you not for what you are, but for what I am by you." I think it belongs to Garcia Marquez.
But in this thought there is a great wisdom. If you're not a flat personality with one or two obvious characteristics, but the person who constantly develops itself, expands their personal boundaries, over time, become similar to the volumetric polyhedron. Several archetypes that you can alternate or do I use different in different situations, several roles which consciously play depending on the environment, several talents who are cultivating, and lots of different qualities from dark to light, high.
You know this theory that each of us is a mirror of the other? So it turns out, if the person sees you as a face, he feels unworthy to be corrected, this in itself is most active. It may be you do not like, and in his interpretation generally annoying, as a constant reminder of your imperfection. And this want to brush off, to defend, to hide. From man, from his words, from his vision of you. You do realize that this quality is also yours, and let it be in you. Because you have many other things that you can appreciate and love.
And there are people who see you for who you itself road. They are praised and cherished, perhaps because they have similar qualities. And you grow up following their presentation about you. You relax, because you don't have to deal with them. You multiply that, and so well, and can be even better. And these people are your affection and boundless gratitude.
In one of the episodes of "Disappeared", the main character, forced, mommy, to make comments to her husband, said to him: "Why are you doing this to me? I don't want to be a bitch, a bitch, I to myself such do not like. Why are you doing this to me?". And it is also about the fact that someone shows you the good, reflecting your light, and someone pulls to the surface all the shit you have.
You can read a lot of books, go through more training to work with people and to think that finally learned how to understand people. But perhaps the best thing that can be to build any relationship: less attention paid to what a person, but more to listen to what you're feeling with him.Need to track down their first thoughts and impressions, even if deaf and blind from the tightening in the network charm. Most likely, in the distant or not very future they are confirmed. Note your bodily sensations of comfort and discomfort: the body does not lie. If you want to immediately run away, run away. If you want to dissolve and relax in the field of another person, you may want to afford it.
In General, if you hear the accusations that you're not gentle and not feminine enough, then maybe the problem is not in you. Likely, this reflects you the one who's next to you. Of course you can be one of those, you in principle can be different. You have the inner core, and you know how to defend themselves and be strong. But what if no one is attacking and does not require conformity to his image of you?
In a word, to choose friends, partners and loved is those whose vision of yourself you like. So happiness in life will surely be more.published
Author: Lilia Ahremchik
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