The forgotten art of the compliment

Tell me what you would be pleased to hear this morning — "hi! How's it going?" or "Good morning! How wonderful you look today!"? Yes, the second greeting has magical properties — helps to Wake up, uplifting, I felt an impression: "I really very much even anything!", and you want to take on the world. And without this (or similar) compliment of the day would have been much sadder.

But why do we love to listen to your nice words themselves are so stingy with praise?! Because shy and timid? Or maybe we just never thought about the fact that our kind word can lift the mood of the person, to motivate and to inspire?..

"There are two different approaches: the first is to look at them with a critical eye — perhaps it's fair, but stern, this approach is indifferent. Other are made of tenderness and humor and you can see all the flaws and shortcomings, but to look at them with a smile and corrected gently and with a joke on his lips. This approach is love," wrote andré Maurois in his "Letters to a stranger".




Alas, a good compliment almost disappeared from our conversation, it was replaced by platitudes and cliches... But it's a lost art you can still "resurrect" and learn to make the world a little kinder and brighter, and our loved ones a little happier. By the way, in the XVII century the word compliment in addition to the now known value of "oral or written praise, a testimony of courtesy, of gallantry" had another — "a bow, greeting." Indeed, in those days, the greeting was not possible nor without a bow, not without praise.

Wrong those who think that pleasant words can never speak from the heart. Nothing of the sort: the only one who is indifferent to his companion, treat him interested and warm, can make a real compliment. Try it, take a look at those around you, really carefully — and in addition to "flaws and shortcomings" you will see each kind and charming, unique features. About them, then you need to talk!

In this case, remember that a compliment should be brief, definitely friendly, original, otherwise it will lose all its charm and even will be unpleasant. After all, it's an amazing ability to find graceful words to sincere praise.

But what if something nice to say man you want, and not enough determination? Psychologists have come up with a good way to deal with shyness. Try during the day to mentally compliment everyone you meet, while respecting all the rules — find something that is worthy of praise, speak honestly, carefully chosen words and comparisons. You suddenly notice what became attentive to people, like opening them again. And will not be silent!

In conclusion, once again let me remind you the simple rule: when speaking a compliment

• be sincere and truthful,

• contact the person by name, looking him in the eye,

• and don't forget that the words and tone must fit the occasion.published


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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