The most powerful magical word to achieve cooperation, is the word "COME". To nine years, children have usually a very poorly formed sense of self "I"
. Constantly commanding the child, we build a wall between himself and the son or daughter instead of to strengthen the natural bond that exists between parents and children.
Whenever possible, invite children to participate in particular activities together with you. Even when you ask the child to perform some specific task, for example: "don't take if you're in the room?" – Preface your request with a phrase like: "let's get ready for the party." If your request becomes part of the invitations to joint activity, children cooperate more readily.
The formula "let" can be used in most situations until the child turns NINE years of age. After the words, "Let's clean up the room" will sound out of tune, especially if you are not going to participate in the process.To promote cooperation try to observe the following RULES:
– Ask, and not order.
– Encourage the child felt that he cooperates with you, not just obey; let him fight (if he so wishes). If the child has no right to resist, to argue and to negotiate, your request is actually an order or requirement.
– Use the formula "will you do" or "Do, please." Don't skimp on the "please."
– Avoid rhetorical questions and lectures.
– Try to formulate requests directly and positively.
A FEW EXAMPLES
Order: Put your things away.
Request: let's clean up this room. Not if you lay things out?
Order: don't leave it there.
Request: Let's put things back in place. Will not believe whether you do it in the closet?
Order: don't talk to your brother like that.
Request: Let's treat each other with respect. Talk, please, brother polite.
Order: don't hurt my sister.
Request: Please stop beating up my sister. Let's live together.
Order: Tie your shoes.
Request: let's prepare for the exit. You please the laces.
Order: Button up your shirt.
Request: let's try to make it look right. Not if you get the shirt?
Order: Brush your teeth.
Request: Let's get ready to sleep. Brush please teeth.
Order: Turn off the TV.
Request: Let's not watch TV too much. Turn it off, please, in ten minutes, when the outcome of this transfer.
Order: Go to lunch.
Request: let's have lunch. Please go to the table.
The order: Stop talking.
Request: let's sit quietly and listen to the mother. Stop talking, please.
IF the CHILD RESISTS... When you begin to apply this approach, in the hands of your child will be too much power. Perhaps he will laugh in your face and say "no". Don't worry: we have come to expect. The child is either happy to cooperate, either with pleasure resists. In the end, do you always do what you ask? I hope not.see also DEVELOPMENT occurs from the point of rest
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Allowing the child to resist, you will ultimately achieve cooperation, not unthinking obedience. Some resistance on his part even useful. To ensure that the child awakened the spirit of cooperation, it is necessary again and again to make sure that you listen to him as he listens to you.published
From the book by John gray "Children are from heaven"
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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