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What age do children understand the limitations?
I remember when my son was a year old, he didn’t understand the word “no.” He was persistently tearing the wallpaper and climbing to the sockets, and I lamented about it. How's that? You can't! Dangerous! Godovas, where is your logic and ingenuity, where is the instinct of self-preservation?
Then he was two years old. He didn't listen, he ran away. Painted on the wallpaper, continued to tear them. I couldn’t go in the right direction at the right speed for more than 50 meters, it was a maximum.
It was beautiful when I was three. There was one continuous, unceasing thrash. He scattered and poured everything and everywhere. For example: oil, cereals, coffee, detergent, toothpaste, shampoo.
Climbing everywhere, opening everything. You couldn't walk away from it for a minute in a one-bedroom apartment, because otherwise you had to eliminate the consequences of... erm... "world exploration." There should be a reasonable question about my lack of ingenuity and about “protection from children”. Well, she, that defense was. Her son would open her up, or climb where she was not, and continue to have fun.
I know there will be questions about why I just didn’t tell him, talk to him, or punish him. Well, then. I said, I explained, I scolded, I built logical chains, I punished.
Which one worked? Nothing. There was one hundred percent way to achieve the desired - to develop a reflex, like the dog Pavlov. If you do the wrong thing, you'll be beaten to bloody snot. I'm sure that would have worked very quickly. But I didn't want to beat up my child, I didn't want him to be afraid of me and everyone, to have at least neurosis and enuresis, even if he was obedient and comfortable.
Beating children is prohibited by law. Simple “slaps” on the notorious priest do not increase discipline, they in principle do not give anything, except humiliation of the child, a sense of power over him due to superior physical strength, rapid emotional discharge and a long sense of shame.
At the age of three, he was completely indifferent. The roadway is a dangerous thing, other people's dogs are absolutely unfriendly, and escapes from me can end badly. He had a standard zero perseverance, he had to run, jump and... er... “explore the world.” 24/7, of course.
A few days ago he turned 4 years old. My head is decorated with gray hair, and pofigism has reached level 80. I did train him about dogs, roads and escapes from me. Naturally, there are punctures, but as an exception.
Not so long ago, I was just thinking about how he grew up — smart, smart and purposeful child. For example, he builds logical chains, why he should not be taken to kindergarten, why he should include cartoons and why his toys should be removed by us, not him. As a matter of fact, I was wrong once again, and now he has a new round of “world research.”
In the minus - a full package of liquid soap, 3 creams, scrub, a bottle of vegetable oil and soy sauce (of course full), a new packaging of toothpaste, several rolls of toilet paper, a couple of kg of different cereals in several approaches, a couple of liters of milk, several rollers for clothing, a couple of kilograms of salt and sugar, tea, spices, detergents, canned beans and a new (!) charger for the phone, cut in five places.
I gloomyly wait for him to finish his "experiments" and console myself with the thought that for some reason he needs it. I don’t hope for anything, because a pleasant surprise or bonus is better than another disappointment and hopelessness.
I mean that familiar mothers regularly complain that their one-year-old or two-year-old babies do not show miracles of intelligence and obedience: “Everything understands, but does to spite!” Well, I'm always helped by my favorite metaphor.
A small and very small child is not a reduced copy of a 1 in 1 adult and reasonable person. It is much more logical to compare with a pigeon. Seriously. These beautiful birds have a small brain, cause-and-effect relationships are the shortest, and most importantly, their difference from young children is that no one counts on them in terms of great intellectual achievements. And no one breaks down violently afterwards.
Don't expect too much from children. Even if you think that at this (any) age, children understand "Everything." Their brains are still growing and developing. You know the fork of options if a child runs away and gets lost. You know what happens when you put something in a socket or hug someone else’s dog. You don’t want the wallpaper to be torn off and painted. And that's true, just your problems, alas. Not a baby.
Kids do not understand that tearing napkins and throwing beautifully on the floor is bad. How can it be bad if it’s fun? It's true that a strange mother is fighting for some reason.
For you, stones and sand are dirty filth, and for a child - cool things that can be shoved quickly into your mouth and be completely happy. And thank you, if it's not animal waste and cigarette butts, hi, my summer 2013!
Yes, it is this beautiful little girl who recites poetry, and this little kid who learns to read syllables, yes, yes, despite their successes in anything, they can act absolutely illogical, stupid and “out of age”.
315075
All children, at any age and in any situation, can and will include pigeon mode.
Think of yourself in preschool and school age. If you are absolutely sure that you did not commit any stupid actions, ask your relatives, with a high probability, they will tell you everything, and in chronological order.
Do you remember yourself as an adult and an independent person, you never, ever did something you regretted? You never thought after the fact, “Bliin, what was I thinking?”
If you have a quiet and calm child who has never run away from you, did not arrange “experiments” at home, and you are in principle terrified of the text above, it is not because I could not raise a child normally, but just our children are very different.
Read also:
Gordon Neufeld: 7 things that undermine parental authority
Julia Hippenreiter: Allow your children to achieve everything for themselves.
Of course, you can sincerely believe that it is you who will be lucky, that you will be able to educate, unlike, and in general, it is your baby who “understands everything!” I thought so a few years ago, too. Good luck! published
Author: Yulia Demakova
P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!
Join us on Facebook, VKontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: mamochek.net/v-kakom-vozraste/
Then he was two years old. He didn't listen, he ran away. Painted on the wallpaper, continued to tear them. I couldn’t go in the right direction at the right speed for more than 50 meters, it was a maximum.
It was beautiful when I was three. There was one continuous, unceasing thrash. He scattered and poured everything and everywhere. For example: oil, cereals, coffee, detergent, toothpaste, shampoo.
Climbing everywhere, opening everything. You couldn't walk away from it for a minute in a one-bedroom apartment, because otherwise you had to eliminate the consequences of... erm... "world exploration." There should be a reasonable question about my lack of ingenuity and about “protection from children”. Well, she, that defense was. Her son would open her up, or climb where she was not, and continue to have fun.
I know there will be questions about why I just didn’t tell him, talk to him, or punish him. Well, then. I said, I explained, I scolded, I built logical chains, I punished.
Which one worked? Nothing. There was one hundred percent way to achieve the desired - to develop a reflex, like the dog Pavlov. If you do the wrong thing, you'll be beaten to bloody snot. I'm sure that would have worked very quickly. But I didn't want to beat up my child, I didn't want him to be afraid of me and everyone, to have at least neurosis and enuresis, even if he was obedient and comfortable.
Beating children is prohibited by law. Simple “slaps” on the notorious priest do not increase discipline, they in principle do not give anything, except humiliation of the child, a sense of power over him due to superior physical strength, rapid emotional discharge and a long sense of shame.
At the age of three, he was completely indifferent. The roadway is a dangerous thing, other people's dogs are absolutely unfriendly, and escapes from me can end badly. He had a standard zero perseverance, he had to run, jump and... er... “explore the world.” 24/7, of course.
A few days ago he turned 4 years old. My head is decorated with gray hair, and pofigism has reached level 80. I did train him about dogs, roads and escapes from me. Naturally, there are punctures, but as an exception.
Not so long ago, I was just thinking about how he grew up — smart, smart and purposeful child. For example, he builds logical chains, why he should not be taken to kindergarten, why he should include cartoons and why his toys should be removed by us, not him. As a matter of fact, I was wrong once again, and now he has a new round of “world research.”
In the minus - a full package of liquid soap, 3 creams, scrub, a bottle of vegetable oil and soy sauce (of course full), a new packaging of toothpaste, several rolls of toilet paper, a couple of kg of different cereals in several approaches, a couple of liters of milk, several rollers for clothing, a couple of kilograms of salt and sugar, tea, spices, detergents, canned beans and a new (!) charger for the phone, cut in five places.
I gloomyly wait for him to finish his "experiments" and console myself with the thought that for some reason he needs it. I don’t hope for anything, because a pleasant surprise or bonus is better than another disappointment and hopelessness.
I mean that familiar mothers regularly complain that their one-year-old or two-year-old babies do not show miracles of intelligence and obedience: “Everything understands, but does to spite!” Well, I'm always helped by my favorite metaphor.
A small and very small child is not a reduced copy of a 1 in 1 adult and reasonable person. It is much more logical to compare with a pigeon. Seriously. These beautiful birds have a small brain, cause-and-effect relationships are the shortest, and most importantly, their difference from young children is that no one counts on them in terms of great intellectual achievements. And no one breaks down violently afterwards.
Don't expect too much from children. Even if you think that at this (any) age, children understand "Everything." Their brains are still growing and developing. You know the fork of options if a child runs away and gets lost. You know what happens when you put something in a socket or hug someone else’s dog. You don’t want the wallpaper to be torn off and painted. And that's true, just your problems, alas. Not a baby.
Kids do not understand that tearing napkins and throwing beautifully on the floor is bad. How can it be bad if it’s fun? It's true that a strange mother is fighting for some reason.
For you, stones and sand are dirty filth, and for a child - cool things that can be shoved quickly into your mouth and be completely happy. And thank you, if it's not animal waste and cigarette butts, hi, my summer 2013!
Yes, it is this beautiful little girl who recites poetry, and this little kid who learns to read syllables, yes, yes, despite their successes in anything, they can act absolutely illogical, stupid and “out of age”.
315075
All children, at any age and in any situation, can and will include pigeon mode.
Think of yourself in preschool and school age. If you are absolutely sure that you did not commit any stupid actions, ask your relatives, with a high probability, they will tell you everything, and in chronological order.
Do you remember yourself as an adult and an independent person, you never, ever did something you regretted? You never thought after the fact, “Bliin, what was I thinking?”
If you have a quiet and calm child who has never run away from you, did not arrange “experiments” at home, and you are in principle terrified of the text above, it is not because I could not raise a child normally, but just our children are very different.
Read also:
Gordon Neufeld: 7 things that undermine parental authority
Julia Hippenreiter: Allow your children to achieve everything for themselves.
Of course, you can sincerely believe that it is you who will be lucky, that you will be able to educate, unlike, and in general, it is your baby who “understands everything!” I thought so a few years ago, too. Good luck! published
Author: Yulia Demakova
P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!
Join us on Facebook, VKontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: mamochek.net/v-kakom-vozraste/
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