Why entreaties hyping the scandal

Persuading a soft, but persistent effect, where there is an appeal to good feelings. For a peaceful and civilized people persuading is valid, although if this is repeated, causing an outcry, as a manipulative behavior. For those who want to row, persuasion does not act, on the contrary — as a sign of weakness, and the connection of emotion, only hyping the scandal.





©Jean-Baptiste-Simeon Chardin

The women by virtue of education, whether because of their biological characteristics in problem situations with children (need to sleep, need to get up out of bed, it's time to stop playing computer games and so on) only practice entreaties to the last reluctant to formulate a clear and precise requirement.

Even if her dictate the requirement text, in response you can only see the unhappy eyes, followed by a refusal: "No, I can't say that!". Once in the company of young moms I asked to play it when my daughter gets up in the morning and specifically asked to speak with her harder, demanding...

Here is a recording of the conversation where the daughter was playing single mom, and raised her other:

— It is difficult in the morning to Wake up, how hard it is! Well, sleep at least 10 minutes!

— Lena, get up.

— Well, another 5 minutes! Let's count to five and I get up.

— Lifting! Handle raises, leg raises.

— It is so cool... No feet, I'm cold... I'll just hide and then get up.

— Lifting!

Very cool. I once again hid and then stand up.

— Lena, get up! I don't want to hear. Let's get up quickly.

— There's still a few minutes there.

— There's no time.

— I count to ten, then Wake up.

Here I interrupted this bickering: this style of conversation was ineffective, it could go on indefinitely, the result is not allowed. Mom seems to be trying to talk tough, played almost a man, still in his voice could be heard pleading and persuasion. I suggested, without persuasion.

It was:

— Lena, you will rise, or can I help you?

— No, how about I gather.

— So, I count to three, and then I will help. Just time to get up. Again...

All issue resolved, Lena will rise. But if she thinks that's all, and it all cost is cheap, then it is wrong. In fact, the conversation continues... what? Yes, that Lena did not get up by herself and even resisted the demands of the parents.

So in the evening there will be another conversation like this:

— Lena, tell us what we have today was with a rising?

— I dreamt a very good dream. Such a bright, beautiful...

— I'm not asked about it. You yourself did not stand up, and I had to apply violence directly to his beloved daughter.

— It is very difficult, cold.

— Do I understand correctly that I have to offer and then you raise, and I'm going to solve this issue?

— While it's difficult to say. But perhaps – Yes, I have.

— Have. You decided for me? And you're helpless. You really decided that you are powerless and decided to rely on daddy's decision because of this features? Daughter, you're smart, if you really need it?

— Yes, I'm smart.

Smart. Then you have 5 minutes to consult with my mother, what you do, you get up by herself, or in 5 minutes I will tell you about your future...

Use persuasion instead of convincing requests. But if requests do not work where people have to hear, continue to force to resolve the issue. published

 

Author: Nikolay Kozlov

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/ugovarivanie_-_pustaya_trata_vremeni