To work or NOT to work?

The idea of a quick multimillion-dollar earnings and subsequent long life in the pleasure are very popular these days. As the debate about whether a woman can bring money into the family, becomes stupid if it's from life in the image of the housewife, what are the rights of husband and wife, if you earn on an equal footing, a lot of dignity in the man, if he can't provide for his family, etc.

Sometimes there is a view that we all were born free, earth, water, air, body and much more belongs to each person by right of birth, so no one is obliged to be engaged in the economy, work does not need to drop everything and go to forest.

Quite often I get emails on the topics:

"I want to sit at home and cross stitching, raising children and husband and all relatives are driven to work"

"Tired of sitting at home with the kids, want to work, and the husband and all relatives against",

"Want to give their children the best, so can't combine work and their childhood, you have to be at home,"

"Want to give their children the best, so I try to combine work and home, mom should be versatile, successful, and interesting"

"I want my wife was home and she went into a career, comes in the night, the children's mother at home do not see"

"Why do I have to contain it, it has hands and feet, let them also go to work and not sitting at home and degraded".

Well fantasies had fallen on the head of wealth, after which lying on the beach until the end of his days, and nothing to grieve - also meet.

The question of Finance and distribution of responsibilities within the family often has no clear answer, the options in the world a great many. Much depends on culture and tradition, which has grown the steam from the rules adopted in the parent family, from the experiences of previous life, from mind and character, talents and abilities, having children, their number, property, nevalennyi injuries, faith, goals and objectives, ability to negotiate the level of intimacy and communication within the family.

If a woman grows up in a family where my mom, grandmother and all the women of the family was busy with household chores and serving the family, then it might be appropriate to continue this tradition and to break it. None worked, and she wants to realize themselves not only at home but also in business. And can only be in business without the implementation of the family because "ate" this is just life. What kind of a family atmosphere? And what a character this girl? Respond if her family values?

If a man grows up in a family without a father where the mother and grandmother, and all the other women kind of had a not too reliable husbands had to do "everything themselves", what would you prefer on a man? Decide to become a breadwinner for his family, to his wife did not have to endure the same? Start to stop her from working? Will go the way of the ancestors in the male line, living on the wife? What goals have formed this boy? What's his character?

And among those who not only dream, but also earn a lot of money you see staying and sitting under a palm tree? Such people purpose is not the money in the end, and realize their potential, first through business, then through something else. But not through inaction.

Woman is not easy to "trust the world", "the will of the Universe", God, if all my childhood, for example, she saw a drunken father, who not only brought home a paycheck, but also carried things out of the house and his mother fled together with the young children, the food was barely enough. Or maybe she grew up in a family where there was a strong male examples from a successful business career, a sensible head and Golden hands. Without a sense of security and male protection in childhood, relax near even with the most wonderful, kind and generous husband will not immediately.

And when these women hear that it is possible to rely on husband, immediately come thoughts of "who knows how things go in the future? and if you go to another, but if it dies, but if something happens to him bad? I can't stay without a source of income."

And the one that grew up under an authoritarian mother, suiting scandals over dirty dishes, broken vases and dust on the shelves, forcing you to change diapers, walk and watch out for younger siblings, is unlikely to want to give birth to five children and be a housewife. And if you still questioned the intelligence and beauty, have grown up girl will try to compensate for shortfalls in childhood great achievements in education, work and appearance.

You never know these stories? Boys also need examples to follow. If no one taught him to be a leader, if before my eyes was not the image of the father-breadwinner, father, hero, father of the winner, not so easy to suddenly become those who can solve family problems. Fix a broken, restless, eliminate, prevent, provide the family with housing, money, rear, men's wisdom and sensible advice.

The device family in which the husband deals with material issues, solve external problems, and the wife spends time mainly house, home and children, it seems quite reasonable, if you approach it consciously. But! Does the husband those qualities that will allow him to close the financial issues? May be he is still young and has not reached the peak of his career? Maybe in his business a strong decline due to instability on the market? Are you sure that his views on family life coincide with yours? If he wants to have a "home" wife, if it expresses the qualities of a leader?

No, it is clear that many women want to idealize my man, to see him as a potential millionaire, but all great achievements, a man should have the appropriate quality. When a man grew up under a female leader (mother, grandmother), it is not so easy to change the settings in your head. And if women and family example, and temperament, and Outlook on life such that they do not have pictures of the "wife at home, husband at work", that is to force a person to try to forbid her to work and say that I want to see a perfect hostess. The conditions in which rose is this woman? Her how to be a mistress? And if you do not want and not get? Choose how much and what we can do well when they have not gained a big quantity of obligations. But if a mortgage was taken on the initiative of the wife, going chipped it close, and then the wife retires from work and said "you're a man, you decide", is it any wonder that he is not ready to such turn of events and tries to resist?

Of course, a woman is not easy, if a family has kids and a man either takes or does not assume any financial issues, still, with the advent of children a woman should feel protected. But then again, most of these cases do not occur "suddenly". Immaturity, lack the necessary knowledge and qualities of character are the Foundation of these stories.

Many issues solved, but it should be close contact with each other and maturity. To maturity would be good to close child-parent to begin with, and with personal boundaries to decide to the family to address issues at the two, not their parent in parallel.

And close contact with each other is obtained when there is contact with ourselves. A lot of whether each of the partners knows about himself, about his purposes, whether their way, the terms on which they built the Union, which agreements are accepted at the conclusion, whether we hear each other when a loved one says something that goes against our beliefs, whether we pay attention to it, or really want to believe that now people are against it, but we Refine it in their own way?

It is necessary to look carefully at those who decide to raise a family, and when I started to build, so try to negotiate, to discuss controversial points.

If a woman knows how to create a warm home atmosphere, all beautifully furnished, filled with energy and share with family and for men is a value(!), and the man normally turns out to make money, he will not experience the fear and humiliation every time brings home a paycheck (because of reduced or very little) and good. What if the woman does not give anyone personal space, aggressively trying everywhere in time, all developed, to give advice right and left, out of the house satisfied with the staff to collect some gifts, then help, then something else, Oh well, so she's very socialized, so maybe it is better to go to work?) Some actually better to do something, and the house grandma will be removed, with children the nanny will sit.


Also interesting: 10 things to think about before quitting a job

The job for life


All the same qualities of character, much depends, not only on the body in which he was born. But alliances with men sitting at home and disappearing for days at work, women don't seem harmonious, of course. Although, if they are all happy, so let it be.published


Author: Dean Richards


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©



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