To teach a child to "fight back"

My parents have disputed the belief that the child should be taught to fight back. It is necessary – I agree. But, please, not in the younger preschool age!

Imagine what confusion arises in the mind of a child if he is taught "Also let him properly!" and taught that fighting is bad. The baby can not clearly delineate when he's attacking and when defending. He can kick the baby accidentally brushed his shoulder.

In his mind that he fought back. Can strongly push the one who took the coveted toy before. In his system of concepts it will also be — swung back. Can hit the one who took his chair — took it as a personal insult and stood up. I can cite many examples from personal experience and practices of colleagues when "surrender" was inadequate, with unfortunate consequences.

In a course on self-defence are taught, in particular, to assess the strength of the enemy and their capabilities. Introduced, at least in General terms, human anatomy. Learn to calculate the impact force and to foresee the consequences. Giving the date the offender, your child examines in mind all these nuances?

When you teach your kid to fight back – you risk his own safety. Because at this point someone also teaches your child to "fight back" and this child may be much bigger your. No matter who are the kids first started the conflict, a "surrender" is not limited.

They will "fight back" to each other before the intervention of the teacher. Therefore, the sooner you intervene the caregiver, the greater the likelihood that there'll be no bruises, bumps and more serious injuries. So isn't it better just to teach the child to call for help of a caregiver?

This does not mean that the child tattles. This means that it uses the services of the mediator. It's not budnichno and civilized way of solving conflicts. Would you like to help the child learn to negotiate and solve conflicts peacefully? Giving back, he learned! He can learn only on the example of action adequate adult.

What I want to achieve the parents, teaching the child to "fight back"?

1. You want the child to defend their interests

2. Want to be able to stand up for yourself, do not let yourself offense

3. Want to be able to punish the offender


All of these tasks the child can solve in another way. For example, resorting to the help of a caregiver. The teacher will judge, explain who is wrong, who is guilty – will be punished. And (note!) no physical violence.

If the child is capable of physical resistance, he fights back instinctively, and without your instruction. But learning to swing my fist girl-malinochka — unnatural. Well, she's brandishing a thin handle. And she will respond with full force... Until, by reason of tender age, do not take her to karate, and teach her better loud shriek, and the enemy will enter into a stupor, and will attract attention of adults.


Mikhail Kazinik: to Take the children's childhood, to tell them a bunch of information — it is criminal

Required reading for Parents!



I understand that school age other values and concepts. To involve teachers in a conflict with classmates already "not right". But at this age the child can already be taught peaceful ways of solving conflicts and the basic principles of negotiation can adequately assess where he is defending, and where he played the role of aggressor may measure the reaction force. Can be taught, but only if he does not mindlessly "gave back" with one year of age, and learned in adults to resolve conflicts.published


Author: Anna Bykova


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©



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