Where are the children? How to answer the child "uncomfortable" question
Among the thousands of children's "Why? Where? How?"there is such a question whose parents are waiting anxiously in advance and think through answers. But even prepared parents the question still surprised. For example, when they think that a child asked about it too soon.
— Anya! She's only three and she asked me where it came from! I'm not ready now to talk about it!
And it is not necessary. Tell me that she was born. This will be enough. It is possible that to ask how it was born, she wouldn't.
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When a child asks "uncomfortable" question, this does not mean that he wants to hear all the details about the anatomy and physiology of men and women, as well as the secrets of the intimate life of the parents. Maybe he just needs to build some missing fact in his picture of the world. And what kind of fact you need to build – better to find out from the child, asking him clarifying questions.
— Mom, how babies are born?
Arseny in 4 years is not enough knowledge that children are born. Now he is interested in "How?»
And I'm interested in "Why?"Why is it suddenly was interested. And I just ask:
He was so very, anxiously meets:
— Here I have to give birth, and I don't know how.
— You don't have to. Only give birth to girls and then when they grow up.
The child sighed with relief. It's not his problem, girls. No details were nothing to him.
In this case, it was enough just to remove the alarm from the child and does not need to describe the whole process of childbirth.
— Anna, where do babies come from?
Polina 5 years. Would be better if this question was answered by the parents, not the teacher. I'm not sure which version you decide to tell the parents. If they had a daughter about a stork told, and I'm slender theory will break.
Gently ask Pauline:
— And you have your own version? What do you think?
Pauline, pulling the skin on the hand with a thoughtful look says:
— I think children are made of rubber.
— No, Pauline, I can tell you that we are not made of rubber. We consist of other unique material. It's called skin.
For the first time the answer Polina satisfied. Of course, after some time there will be a new question. But then you can give out information gradually, depending on the child's doubt that this question will provoke. It is not necessary to tell everything at once.
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But I'm not a supporter of versions about the stork, cabbage and shop. First, modern children they are less likely to work. Second, sooner or later the child finds out the truth. What he will realize that his parents cheated? Frankly, it's all a setup. Children in kindergarten between views is also exchanged. And the child, who firmly believes in the theory of the stork can be raised for laughter more enlightened children, whose life experience has a younger sister and the mother's previous pregnancy with a maternity hospital.
— Anna Aleksandrovna, and what store selling children?
— I honestly don't know.
Well, I really don't know how to this question to answer, so as not to drop the authority of parents, refuting their version, and at the same time not to lie to a child. But there is a question there is a concern that needs to be neutralized.
— Why are you asking?
What if I have not enough money?
— Marisha, when a person really, really wants a child, he's always got that baby money.
I think I got it to respond neutrally. And Her to calm down, and parents not to fail, and most do not lie.
Still better without shops and storks. And it may even happen that the mother will tell you about cabbage, grandma about a stork grandfather about the store, and dad I'll make fun of all previous theories. As the child to live? Who to believe?
Tell the truth. But first find out what kind of interest is behind the child.
— Mom, give me a brother! Tomorrow!
The son of a friend interrupted our quiet tea party. Friend has changed in the face. For a moment it seemed to her that now will have to explain that pregnancy comes so quickly that it is still necessary to get married, and then another 9 months to bear a child…
Also interesting: Children's fears: to understand where and that means
Don't say "No" to a child or How to negotiate with the three-year period
But a simple question: "why do you want a brother?"— removed all the anxiety instantly.
Turns out the son for a walk met a boy who has a younger brother. Because the elder brother hangs out with Junior, rolling on the closed courtyard of the stroller, mom gives him the money. 50 rubles for a walk. That is, the son of a friend decided that he could also make serious cash, rolling the stroller, of course, if mom will try to quickly have. But his mother is disappointed, saying that even if he'll have a brother to walk with him will have on a Pro Bono basis. Question about the birth of a brother immediately disappeared.published