Old age in our head

The stereotype of old age and attitudes towards old age is already so entrenched in our common perception, monolithic notions of old age, that those who are willing and able to withstand conserved in the mind the image of old age, their way of life, their example, are considered to be impossible, a single exception.



Yes, that certain changes, partly inevitable, and yet - it starts ... in our heads, in our attitude and perception of long before, as we are entering a phase of aging and what we understand by this

. Few people care about the issue, while the "health permits." We spend themselves and their lives, nothing is laying in his own old age. How much do we do to protect your health in the credit, both physical and psycho-emotional? To lay the foundation, as far as possible in the given conditions.

Yes, the body is aging - but not without our acceleration of this process. We even go to the dentist when to bear the pain no longer able, not when there were first

«bells." And so with all, with all the processes of our body. We like the approach of accelerating latent decrepit state in which steadily introduce themselves, which in panic fear, but continue to live, grow old if we are only in the next life. And his negative attitude to it as to the full age of devaluation, as a process needy, weak, miserable, we are laying the projection of his own age.

There is literally a public stereotype of mentally retarded, ugly, passive, sickly creature, an elderly person in need of constant care, abandoned and lonely, which is obvious, further, an uncomfortable burden for "healthy" people, which contributes to compulsive form in the elderly a sense of guilt for what they have grown old.

Emphasis expressed negative stereotypes of old age - of course, I note of - and our relationship to them talk about the fact that we have not learned to find adequate forms of interaction either with their own age, or age-related changes as a natural process that takes place with absolutely all people.

Nevertheless, the attitude to the age of forms in many ways our own old age and determines the degree of fear of it. We arranged a very early age to think from the perspective of the losses, not gains. We lamented the non-possession or loss of something without thinking that acquire with it or what it will be protected have, or what kind of experience acquired, we will kopim regret and disappointment, the fruits of negative and fake pity, resentment and bitterness and ... enter into his "old age" well mashed and squashed, emotionally, mentally, financially.

But is not that we are responsible for maintaining order in your inner house, even if the guests, he visited were so clumsy that left a mess, or are we out of the goodness of his soul allowed them trodden? Therefore, old age, as a natural phenomenon, we perceive only from a position of solid waste and losses.

Vladimir Pozner once in his blog talked about his very old friends, very elderly, spouse Phyllis and Jack Schlossberg, with whom he maintained a cordial relationship for over 20 years.

When Jack died in August 1995, Vladimir Vladimirovich. Wrote about it in his blog: "Jack was a veteran of World War II. He went to fight seventeen escaped from poverty, from shelters, where they left him alcoholic parents, fled to participate in the "good war." He became a fighter pilot, flew nicely, then served in France, where he learned to understand in wines and women. He returned to New York, took advantage of the law, which gave great benefits to veterans who wanted to learn to become a certified public accountant, and then a lawyer.

He was a typical product of New York: a little harsh, almost impudent, a lover of fine cigars, beautiful women and just piles drunk whiskey. But, in addition, Jack was an innate taste - it is precisely and delicately felt art and theater, read a lot and deeply. Not very tall, very thin in the legs, with slits almost always laughing blue eyes and reddish hair a little (he painted them in his wife's insistence).

Despite his age and experience, Jack Schlossberg was a man of extraordinarily cozy. I write "was" because in August of last year, he died suddenly, leaving a hole in my heart ... »

Soon Posner received a letter from his wife Phyllis and Jack could not resist not to publish it. The letter, in fact, contained a letter rewritten verbatim girlfriend Phyllis, very wise, active and pretty elderly woman who came to life and revived the Phillies their lifestyle. That's the main part of the letter Phyllis Schlossberg, which needs no comment, enough to read it, to penetrate the deep experience and content that it permeated ...

"My old friend wrote to me about his age, and I wondered whether I am old? My body sometimes says yes, old ... but the heart does not agree! And I would also like to return to their younger years. In my opinion, this is her letter very accurately sums up life. Here it is, this letter:

"Recently, one young creature asked me, how to be old. I am somewhat confused because they do not consider myself old. Seeing my reaction, being scared fainted, but I say that is an interesting question that I will consider it and report its findings. Old age, I decided, is a gift. Today I was probably the first in life was the person who always wanted to be. No, it's not about my body, of course! Sometimes the body makes me despair - wrinkles, bags under the eyes, spots on the skin, saggy ass. Most shocking to me, an old woman who settled in my mirror - but I worried briefly

. I would never have agreed to trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my beloved family on a smaller number of gray hair and a flat stomach tightened. As I'm getting older, I began to imagine a kinder, less critical. I began to imagine other. I do not reproach yourself for having eaten too much a cookie, for what, which I have not removed the bed, because bought this idiotic cement lizard absolutely do not need, but which gives a shade of my avant-garde garden. I am entitled to overeat, do not clean up after themselves, to be extravagant. I was witness to how many - too many - too dear friends left this world too early, not yet understood without experiencing a great freedom that gives old age

. Who cares if I'm reading up to four hours in the morning and sleep until noon? I'm dancing with myself, listening to the wonderful music of the fifties, and if sometimes I want to cry over a past love, well, cry. I'll walk down the beach in a bathing suit that barely holds the plump body, if I want, I throw myself into the ocean wave, despite complete pity looks from the young creatures dressed (undressed?) In a bikini. They, too, will grow old.

Sometimes I am forgetful, that's true. However, not everything in life is worthy of remembering - and the importance I remember. Of course, over the years my heart has been broken many times. How can break your heart, if you have lost a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved dog hit by a car? But broken hearts is the source of our strength, our understanding, our compassion. The heart that has never been broken, sterile and clean, they will never know the joy of imperfection.

Fate has blessed me by giving me live up to the gray hair, to the time when my youthful laughs forever etched deep grooves on my face. After all, how many people have never laughed much died sooner than could have their hair frosted? I can say "no" absolutely sincere. I can say "yes" absolutely sincere. As soon as you get older, it gets easier to be sincere. You care less about what others think about you. I do not doubt yourself. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So in answer to your question, I can say that I like to be old. Old age freed me. I like the person I became.

I will not live forever, but while I'm here, I'm not going to waste time on experience about what could happen, but it did not happen, I will not worry about that, what else can happen.

And I'll have a sweet tooth for the third every single day. "

© Tatiana Baruch