What would be if Google owned a pizzeria

The phone rings:
- Pizzeria GOOGLe, good afternoon, listening to you!
- Pizzeria what?
- Pizzeria GOOGLe. What will you order?
- But ... Is not that a pizzeria "Signor Tomato»?
- Alas, was GOOGLe bought it and now the scope of our services has become full.
- Perfectly. Take your order?
- Naturally! Do you want to repeat your regular order?
- The usual order? How do you know what?
- We have set identifier customers, and we know that the last 53 times from this number to order a pizza "Vesuvio", with double cheese and ham, plus a bottle of well chilled beer "Baltika».
- Wow, I did not think ...! Well, let's.
- Excuse me, can you give some advice?
- Of course.
- Do you have our full menu?
- No.
- This is the full menu, and I would like to advise you pizza with cheese and greens and a bottle of mineral water with low salt content.
- Cottage cheese? Greenery? Salts? Are you crazy? I hate all this!
- I understand, but this is only for the benefit of your health. In addition, you have a very high cholesterol ...
- How do you know?
- Our company has the largest database on the planet. After the phone number we know your name, so we have access to your analysis in the clinic.
- To hell with your database! I do not want a pizza with cheese and greens! I take medication, so I can have whatever I want, understand?
- I'm sorry, but you do not take pills recently.
- What the hell, how do you know? Spying on me every day?
- No no! Simply, we have a database of all pharmacies in the city, and the last time you were there three months ago. A single package only 30 tablets.
- Damn, this is true. And how do you know?
- From your credit card ...
- What?
- Yes, you are, when paying by credit card at your pharmacy Bank MMM get a discount. In our database of all your expenses by credit card. And over the last 3 months, you do not buy anything there, but bought in other stores, which means that you do not lose credit card.
- Infection ... What I can not pay cash? A? What? Now what you say?
- It's impossible. You pay only in cash of US $ 100 a week, her maid, the rest only pay by credit card.
- The bastards! How do you know how much I'm paying the maid?
- But she pays social insurance ...
- Fuck you!
- As you wish. I'm sorry, but all of this information on my screen, and I only want to help you. I think you should go for your doctor and take the tests that you have done in the past month to clarify the dosage of medication.
- Listen, you ...! Are you fed up with me, and you, and computers, and databases, and the Internet, and GOOGLe and FaCeBOOK and TWITeR, and lack of privacy in the twenty-first century, and this damn government ...
- Please do not be discouraged. It's not in your best interest ...
- Shut up! Tomorrow I'll go somewhere far away from all this shit. Go in the Fiji Islands, or anywhere where there is no Internet, computer, telephone, or the people who will follow me all the time to spy ...
- I understand you ...
- The last time will use a credit card to buy a plane ticket and fly to the end of the world!
- Well ... -
- Remove the pizza order. I do not want it.
- Well ... have withdrawn. If you just let me ... one small detail ...
- What the hell !?
MORE - I just want to remind you that your passport has expired ...: storyfo.ru