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True love - a conscious choice
Love is often associated with violent euphoria and uncontrolled emotions. Being close to the trance state, some couples hastily fleeing officially bind the knot, blindly believing that the strength of unions depends on the ardor and spontaneity of feelings.
Website published an article, which destroys the entrenched myth that define true love feelings, and explains that such beliefs - a very immature approach to relations.
My wife and I met in college, but there are much later. When we provstrechalis just a couple of weeks, we realized that we love each other madly, and even want to get married.
I was all hands! I even offered to immediately organize a spontaneous wedding in Vegas (I'm quite seriously). But Kim, in contrast, was more practical in this matter. She wanted to wait and plan everything.
The enthusiasm I have diminished. "We are so different - I said. - You all kept under control, and I like the spontaneity ».
Kim's eyes widened. "I can be spontaneous! - She snapped. - I can be very unpredictable. You just need to tell me in advance when you want spontaneity, and I listed it in your diary ... »
I was at a loss. She was absolutely serious! Kim clearly did not understand what it means to "spontaneity».
Ironically, the more I think about the conversation, the more clearly I understand that the decision - or choice - to love someone - this is one of the finest nuances of love.
I heard somewhere that the real love - is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.
So it is.
When all the butterflies in the stomach and scattered your wedding day becomes a distant memory, you find that married to someone who is just not perfect like you. And your spouse, in turn, eventually finds out that you also have problems, fears and fads - just like her.
Then you come to the realization that love - this is not some spontaneous feeling of euphoria. It is a conscious choice - a decision to love one another "in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and in poverty, in sickness and in health." Of course, you do not choose someone who just attracts you, but opt for the one you love and, moreover, continues to love.
In today's society it is accepted to focus on feelings. We are taught that we must always follow them and do what makes us happy. But feelings are fickle and fleeting. In turn, the love in our lives as the polar star in the storm: it is constant, reliable and authentic. In whatever position we may have appeared, and no matter how confused, we can find the strength to love, which chose.
In addition, life itself is full of surprises: failures reduction at work, heartaches, disappointments, frustration and a lot of other problems. But we simply can not afford to leave the raft of our marriage in each collision with a storm. In this love people cope with adversity together.
When my grandmother was about 50, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis - degenerative disease that destroys the body's ability to interact with the nervous system. In just a few years, my grandmother lost her ability to walk and became confined to a wheelchair. Grandpa, who then worked as a police officer, retired for 2 years earlier than planned in order to care for her. He helped her in everything - from the movement in the house and trips to the doctor before taking medications and bathing.
One day my grandfather said to my mother: "It hurts me to see her like this. You know, when we got married, I thought that everything would be easy. I even could not imagine that at one time I would have to help her change the catheter every day. But I do it without thinking - because I love it ».
Love - it's much more than the occasional feeling of euphoria. And it is not always pleasant and intoxicating. Most often, this love has to roll up their sleeves, to be stained with dirt and wipe the sweat from his forehead. Genuine love compels us to do difficult things - to forgive each other, to support other people's dreams, to comfort in difficult times, and to take care of the family. This love is not easily distinguished, and nothing like your wedding day. But it is much more significant and beautiful.
Recently I came across a great quote: « No one falls in love by choice - it happens on occasion. Love still not accidental, but working. And if love is gone - blame is not the case, and the choice ».
Whatever problems were in my marriage, my wife and I always do my best to choose love. Since we both are not ideal, the love that we share today, more real and more beautiful than we ever dreamed.
So, no matter how unexpected storm overtook us no, I am determined to love his wife.
If you truly love someone (and in response to love you), get ready for what is waiting for you hard work.
But also know that it will work, which will grant you the most valuable fruits of life.
Author: Seth Adam Smith
Translation and adaptation of the Website
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