About inflated expectations

you ever thought about the question why there are so many unhappy people? A happy man is very difficult to meet, so it seems that life is full of bitterness and strife - this is normal.

In fact, it should not be: normal state of mind - joy and peace. Unhappy we do high expectations for themselves, loved ones, their level of wealth, career, and many more what.

A person with excessive expectations seems that his unstable home environment and able to blame their own shortcomings. He sure is nervous because of the inconsistency of reality to his desires, and to relax, must ensure that the dream came true. But high expectations are different from the common desire to improve what they are groundless - are not supported by the real possibilities of the object being sent.

In fact, it is a psychological deviation that is accompanied by anxiety, nervousness, suspiciousness. Those who got the syndrome of excessive desires always think that they deserve more than have. At the same time these people often do not realize that not correspond to the level of their own inquiries.

So, they can apply for positions that do not have a residual competence; dream of marrying an idol or to marry a celebrity. Ceiling at their ambition does not exist.

The conflict of the real and imaginary world, the inability to achieve the goal again creates anxiety and concern - the circle closes.

This syndrome stems from an inferiority complex - through external attributes (beautiful wife, wealth, luxury house) people trying to compensate for the internal nesamodostatochnosti.

Get on with life "turned down," he further immersed in a complex. From suffer unreasonable demands and surrounding, and the man himself.

Very often it is seen in relation to the wives of husbands - women always think that her husband is not good enough, do not earn much, he does not know how to properly perform its tasks. However, she forgets, which is not ideal. Wife loved chewing and she is constantly frustrated by its slowness.

The same we make with the children, claiming that they were akkuratistami and geeks - and in fact they are just kids perceive the world through mistakes.

Excessive demands appear to me: you have to be the best, to do everything at the highest level - hence the perfectionism.

But here's the catch - often we deserve exactly what we get. And our mental harmony depends on perception. Either we are too demanding of his life - and therefore unhappy by the fact that it does not meet our high expectations, or take it for what it is. You just need to remember that the husband (wife) and children - living people, they also have their weaknesses, and not all born to be the presidents of millions of Companies ...

The first step in the fight against the syndrome inflated expectations - his awareness, understanding that this is a trap of self-deception, which can not be caught. If all the time to think about what things could be better, you can suffer from this endlessly because there is no limit to perfection.

The most profitable investments tend to invest in yourself. It would be naive to think that a diploma of higher education guarantees a successful future life.

Only constant self-development makes a person interesting, both for others and himself.

© Mikhail E. Litvak

via litvak.me/statyi


See also

New and interesting