< Anatoly Golubovskii
I can not say that I accept nearly everything that makes on-site Nadia. Although, of course, she is sincere in his anguish and more interesting. But her paintings hooked immediately. I do not know and do not even want to try to sort out why. Let it be. Well, made a proposal to talk about all this. Still curious as to why and how a person suddenly comes to a certain turning point in my life.
< -You from Kiev?
< Why decided to do the translation?
Wanted independence. And to help their parents.
Then Hrinchenko University just opened and had the opportunity to enroll in a free room. I opted for English and German. German hated then, but having studied the market, realized that he quoted the most.
thought, 'Why not? "I had no plans to become a teacher, but my mother a teacher. I just wanted to work with languages. As a result, received. A German fell in love) And with the children worked. Strange, but most children love me. I just talk to them as adults. And who of us in childhood did not want to talk to us, as adults?)
< -And how you brought to the Cheka?
After graduation, I would like to enter the Karpenko-Kary. Even passed independent testing - history and language, although by that time already had a red master's degree. But they have such requirements. Held on points. Went to preparatory courses. Very pleased, excited me lessons.
Since I was a girl aged - already in '23 (by the standards of Karpenko in acting class - you're an old woman), and the first education was free, Karpenko-Kary fees I had to pay. The man with whom I was living told me not to worry - he will pay for his studies. It's not my style, but by the help I did not refuse. He believed in me - and I did not resist. But we parted, Selyava and much choice did not exist - to work and study at the same time (and Karpenko people plow rehearsals till night), I was not able to. Of course, upset, but had to abandon the receipt and go to work to support themselves.
Three years later, the girl friend of the University, who knew about my passion for theater, laid out in the Old VC with the comment - "Behold, you are interested in, it is possible." Moreover, the theater, it has nothing to do. Information was the immediate Cheka.
I at that time was another personal drama, sat on sedatives. The thought that I will stand on the stage, my hands were shaking. And I decided to go on a three-day training to Neelov.
On the second day of training I went to AnatoliyuNikolaevichu the issue of fear. I had to work with the chief of a small problem. I went to Neelov wondering how do I get rid of this tremor and raskolbasa when communicating. He advised consciously create stressful situations. And then announced that if anyone is interested, exams Cheka - Sunday. I thought, "Well, stressful - so stressful." Arrived on Sunday and received.
< -Kartiny you already wrote?
-No. That came later. There is generally more. I simply excess energy can be. That is, you need somewhere to throw out the excess. Areas of work-home-personal relationship to me is not enough. And here I suddenly found a place where they could give vent to their emotions, feelings, thoughts. You can learn to think of something, to change, modify itself ... and it was very interesting. Not everyone is clear, yes. But such is. After all, even when the person is suitable to you two and say, "You know, I'm thinking after your show ..." - is high. I do not care number. Important to me, when someone understands this and somehow change. Or he takes from it something for yourself. This may be one. But I'll be happy.
When it came time to do sketches, I had four ideas. One of them was about the artist. This sketch was prehistory. On the eve of my friends and I went to Prague. On the nose, March 8, the guys wanted to give me something. As to the clothes I'm pretty indifferent, the question was - well give? I gave up everything, because it was so corny ... I hate shopping. And so one of my friends found on the viewing platform in Prague, in the rain, during a tour on March 8, palette. Apparently, it forgot some artist. Rain, dampness. And this palette. It was so weird. I took it as a sign and took it with him.
Then he came up with this sketch - just depressing. The artist paints dry paint on his dead child. Artistic director of Campfires Misha said "NO". I cried all night. But then it's still resulted in a modified form in monoetyud. There's not about that. But everything in life we have to something leads. And well, when there are people who say timely "no", then to this resulted in good quality "yes».
And then there was a break in classes in a theater, something was missing, there was no place to pour the accumulated energy. Girlfriend suggested exercise in the art studio. For the money it was sheer nonsense, why not?
The teacher was totally flegmatom. Sample asked to draw an apple and a bottle. Dotted, put shade. And for me, all you need to do by the rules - boredom death. I draw, and the very batters irritation. He came up to me and asked, whether he even taught me to paint and what they would like to learn? I gasped, of course, "Monet". My favorite artist, and style of the Impressionists learn to draw - it's magic, believe me. After that, I started looking for his own style. I can not say that I found. Since, as with poetry - I have all different. But most of abstraction, in my opinion. Or expressionism. Sometimes Impressionism blows ... to explore different areas, but so far its definition could not give. A mixture of some sort.
< -You know. Me as a child discouraged draw it in the classroom. And then, in forty years, suddenly found out quite by accident that I draw good
-I Irritate canons. Want to go beyond the limits of forms, which is why it is considered to be correct. I was a child involved in dance, modeling, painting. Maybe somewhere in the intersection of all assimilated and I find what I want. I do not know. But I feel that all this is not accidental, and somewhere leads me. I paint as a brush and palette knife, hands, feet probably start soon))) I am interested to learn new things. I paint (I do not write, but rather draw) emotion, feeling, feelings experienced at the time when I sit down at the easel.
When I'm painting, it is likely to fall into a trance. I sit down in front of the canvas. I close my eyes. And when I open - I'm not Nadia Patrelyuk. Why choose certain colors, take a spatula, take this with a brush or paint with your fingers - do not know. It just happens.
I take a bottle of wine poured into a glass, took a sip. And then forget about everything - about wine, about music, about a cat that rubs against my legs. And for a few hours dropped from the reality. It was as if someone or something, but I no longer does so.
< -There is such a small novel by John Wyndham. Called "Ciocca". About a little boy and his imaginary Matthew seemed to parents, other. However, the friend was not imaginary, and even quite real. A sort of a friendly alien who has taught Matthew. Including paint. So the boy described his condition when Ciocca it "inspires", in a similar way. That he - he has not quite.
-Very Interesting. I'll have to check out. And you know, I'm absolutely in itself did not believe.
< -Don't believe as an artist? Or in general?
-How To the artist as an actor. And the list goes on
< -Otchego so?
Enough banal. The man who said what I talented, free and etc., etc., all of a sudden when we parted, said that he hates me. Moreover, precisely because of those qualities that were previously in his eyes dignity. Too freedom-loving. But absolutely mediocre. Too emotional. Well, and so on. And this is somewhat undermined my faith in myself. I did not understand what I am and what I have if who I was 5 years old, and it was kind of good for him - turned full "nothing". And broke. Confused) Now I begin to understand what it is nonsense.)
The fact that I'm really very emotionally perceive everything and is very dependent on the opinions of others. Now I'm working on it. But I especially important opinion of those who respect and love.
Recently, however, become stronger, but still catchy.
But when I posted my first picture on FB and Misha Campfires at the meeting said it was like the reincarnation of Vah Gogh - I just internally blossomed. We are all important to us believed talented people and our teachers. Like it or not.
< Well, we're all more or less dependent on the opinions of others. Anyway, listen to him. It's hard to find a fully independent. Yes it is, perhaps, would be scary. Another thing that you should not try to please everybody
-Here And I to do the same. I care. But here is the opinion of these, even 10% of the people important to me. I, too, do not like everything in the theater, cinema, painting. Like art-house, rock and roll, blues and abstraction. And many things that do not like the majority. But I find this beauty! A long time I did not take it to myself. Now adopted. And I write better.
< -This is a natural process. 7-8 years ago, I heard from a good coach Remember the phrase: "What we need in life? Find her and calm down. " And perhaps we all, consciously or not, are in this search.
-Navernoe. But what is interesting. When the circle has seemingly emerged - more or less imagine what someone like paintings, suddenly happen such surprises! Calling a person with a completely seemingly other flavors, stand-up comedian, and says that he likes my pictures and it is ready to buy one! Just tear the roof.
< -And why do you deny him the possibility of perception of your painting?
Yeah, I do not deny. It's just so weird ... Anyway, I realized one thing - we think too much. Need to do more. Do, do and do.
< -Golden words))
-Do Not zaparivatsya - like it or not. Then all calm down. Recently there was a case. There was an idea of the project - is a crazy mix - a mix of theater, modern dance, displayed colors on the canvas with his body. Plus another verse.
< -Wow! Invite for a performance?
-It Will be filmed on camera. So. When you start to move somewhere, once there is some supporting force. Nowhere is the operator. People who are ready to help. I ask: "How much will I owe you?". Answer: "Come on. We are creative people. Treaty ". And I believe that yet, yes, agree. In general, I'm just about money and do not cling to them. And then they come easily.
< -So they do not have a goal, but a means to an end.
< -By about "doing." You simply run mono or in conjunction with someone?
Monomial. Of course, mono. I am a complicated person ...
< Yes well?)
-Yup. I kind of energy. I found a number of people with whom I am comfortable and comfortable to them. Unfortunately, men are not so much. Just a couple of people. Women more. But I'm looking for. Every time gaining a new course in the KGB, I was there, inside, saying: "Well, come to me, my energy." While not very))
And then, I prefer to rely only on themselves. How I came up with sketches !!! And then - one fails, the other ... all the time you need to negotiate. Me it's just vybeshivaet. When I see the goal, I want to go to it as simply as possible. But constantly have to take into account human factors and circumstances, we are all with their circumstances - children, family, work. This sometimes prevents me. But that's life.
A mono - she figured out she did. Village at 10pm, I know that up to 2 time there - and drove. Well, the Council with friends, with a choice of music, painting. My friends already know me. These are people who feel me. So their opinion is important to me. But I do still always something that is closer to me on the inside. Statement to be trusted in the first place.
In general, depend only on themselves. You see, I'm a very responsible person. And, if you dare to do anything, then put it on the stage mega-importance. At the level of the mission. If you do not do - "the world will collapse."
I once helped to survive his friend rider. The probability of survival was assessed at 8%. I said - will survive. I knew it. And so it happened. But I had to throw all the forces only in it. Absolutely everything. And then it worked. Man alive. And then came the feeling that you can a lot, but it should be sacrificial. For the sake of someone else. Just for myself - I have not yet learned.
< -A there is no sense of whether their exclusivity?
-That's It, after that - emerged. Because he drove me in the head, and then I hammered, and then friends, and rushed ... .but this is nonsense. In fact, no no exclusivity. There are just someone's belief in your exclusivity, which translates to you. And if you accept this, the effect is enhanced. And then you start to clog their brains these nonsense. And blame themselves if there is a similar effect in other areas. All this foolishness. Everything has its time and everything differently. Should abandon their mythical beliefs to begin to live, not nadumyvat.
< -You ever bought with it "phone, cheap"? Probably like most, offered
< -Stremno or principle?
-Printsipialno. There are things that you do, because you do not do. No explanation for this.
< -Very specifically
< -For the last time you stood on the site less hysterical or something. Withstand the heat of your really difficult
-I Do not know. I was always looking for some meaning. Truth. I could not play the fool, I think that everything should be deeply. Not sure I understand the meaning of "deep", but that's just me associated with nerve anguish. And then I realized that it's annoying. No, many people like it. Said more than once that I was interesting to watch. And I was pleased. But I understand that the KGB will not do. May be useful in future projects))
< -So far no priority - theater, painting, dancing?
-No. And before I literally burst. This, you know, thought-destroyer: "I'm a man without a purpose. AAAA! Everything. I - a nonentity. " And then one man said to me: "You aim - to find the target." And it was easier.
I had an inferiority complex because of lack of purpose. Lived, just to live. I just hated when asked about the purpose of life. Well, what is the purpose? Yes live! Well you itching to do it all ???
And then I realized that if you do have nowhere to go, you get to understand. And I could not afford to formulate a specific goal. That is - I want to do it. Paint a picture. Make a sketch. And, for example, to create an art gallery or anything else scale - this was not. And I lost. Who I am? What am I? I do not know »
And now - just do. Go somewhere. In order to find out its purpose. Where will - I do not know. But I wonder. Interested in the process. I - a man of the process, not the result. Although, if the process is interesting, the result will still be.
< Zhvanetskogo -I have thought: "The role of drinking in art greatly underestimated." Can you comment on their attitude?
-I To drinking calmly. Someone says that it prevents harmful, etc ... that under his influence - is not art. I do not know. I like dry wine with ice. I can drink a glass or a couple when cooking. Or at lunch. Or when I'm writing now. I inner Frenchman. The French are not soared in this regard. I am of the same opinion. I do not think it's a sin or an apocalypse. Everything should be fun. Anyone who deliberately refused from it - well. Too great. That's their business. I do not climb into other people's lives. I have enough of their bends)
< -When you can expect your performance?
-So Far I can not say for sure. The operator is free to the end of June, but at this time I am busy, I have a long-awaited vacation - flying to Montenegro. But I think we'll do over the summer. I'm looking forward to - a huge canvas. I, all in the paint. The operator, by the way, I saw my picture says - masterpiece)
< -On stage plan to go?
-In The Cheka?
< Yes. Any where else.
-I Want to play in a movie. And for the square still need to grow yourself. In another treat. I'm not exactly in this format. I used to have lacked ease. Now I gain slowly. But try - try to be sure. Studies cook. Although slow to horror. I'm lazy. Although, you know, that's no longer push themselves - faster, faster - began to turn better. Disappeared feeling that I itself violence. Just all the time. While still very relative concept. For example, in the studio Cheka something I began to realize only after two and a half years. So we'll see. Maybe I will do a solo performance. There is such a dream.
Finally, on the painting: you draw for yourself?
When to start - only draw for himself and friends. Give away a picture with a bang. Those who like them, of course) is very pleased to see how what you are poured onto the canvas acquires a meaning when this picture does not prop up your walls and hanging from someone's home and glad someone. Of all the pictures I was only half. But I was never soars. When I see the eyes of these people - I feel happy.