Like a cat ate toothpaste

It happened this morning in an apartment where we are with my girlfriend live together with a cat Simba (the protagonist), cat and ferret Ryzhuney bakery with bread (girl).
Underwritten text is actually my girlfriend Anya. So ...

"Our cat - a fool. The cat, of course, much more stupid, but that's not it. I do not know whether it is normal for cats, but he loves the smell of mint. One has only to brush his teeth, he unyuhivaet you for half a mile and uterine Murch begins to lick you all over his face, trying by all means zalest rough tongue into the mouth. Often it comes to the bathroom and begging toothpaste, as if it were a rabbit fillet in cream sauce. And his wife, cat obviously does not share his preference. And today, when I went to wash, he immediately rode up to the bathroom and the first thing he tried to knock me off my feet, butting my head against her better than feral cows. Then he climbed up on the edge of the bath and lay down, spread-eagled his immense carcass and looking at me with the eyes of oil. It did not help, and if the cat has decided that it would be nice to butt me in the arm, and then I almost swallowed a toothbrush and barely coped with the gag reflex. On my hysterical bellowing and subsequent him "pshshsh nu nu nu go away, you fool!" The cat responded myavanem piercing claws and stared at the carpet. Trying to push his foot to nothing lead, trying to put the cat out the door led only to the fact that he ducked and hid under the bath, where he often pisses. [Next] I tried to push him out of a scoop - scoop was met with a look of indifference and ran into a monumental ass cat that seemed to be fused to the floor and did not want to move. I was beaten mentally ill over the bath, poked the cat all kinds of objects made terrible eyes, to bark at him and, apparently, finally convinced him that to go in any case impossible. Then I come to the aid of a spray. The cat jumped out of the bath, rumbled basin of dirty laundry and killing claws Andryukhin sock; Cat, of course thought that was the end of the world and galloped after him like saiga, splashed water from the road and crashed into their bowls Balde on the door that it has not stopped, but only gave confidence and she still caught the cat, clutching him tail and uttering triumphant cry. They grappled, mutuzit each other and growling like a wild boar, and I, without hesitation, launched their first scoop, and then a tube of toothpaste. Cat retreated under the bed and hit a tube directly into the cat, he smeared the paste. Côte favorite scented smell eyes bulged, his ears pricked up and asked me, "Mau?", Then I spun round and round, and finally flopped on its side. And, of course, I began to lick himself.
And here I almost died.
For a cat, obviously, felt the charm of menthol, burning tongue, howled like a wounded female hippopotamus, and vzboroniv carpet, rushed out of the room, screaming hysterically, leaving behind destruction and chaos. I run after him and rzhu. I feel sorry for the cat, but I rzhu like a horse and can not stop. In the hallway, he spun around, throwing himself ass up and drooling, then in a fit of hysterical danced on his hind legs, why sped to the kitchen, almost torn out of the wall internetovky wire, jumped on a stool and jumped down from the stool, he tried to jump on the table, slipped , rushed between my legs, head against the door to the room broke and galloped to the balcony, where he continued to thrash and grunt, letting the whole court about his fate ... no easy it seems his mother, and I think even in human language. He tumbled down a bicycle, he rushed back to the apartment, scaring to death the ferret, and here I overtook him and jumping like a true cat goalie and pressed to the floor. Cat of such a throw gone crazy even more and nearly tore me in the trash, but I managed to grab him and drag his hind legs in the bathroom where the cat has been a great torment, as he had to wash his mouth toothpaste, which he diligently as saliva I uttered on my shoulders and arms. After a few agonizing moments, the cat was released, bike raised Fixed carpet, and I finally stopped laughing and started to hiccup.
Outcome: cat ruffled, and gloomy looks around, the cat quietly snoozing on the couch, because in her mind for a long time did not delayed, weasel hiding in his house, and I, all in fur, saliva and toothpaste, keep hiccup and laugh and eliminate the effects of hellish cats dancing.
And that's all garbage, because the cat out of anger pissed pillow.
My friends, get a pet without very bored with life! "

© Anja Chester

On a photo sobsno zhivotinku



ferret =)

Post the first excuse if something goes wrong =)



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