Alien love of tours

So amorous fun of tourism.

"Love-carrot» ...
... And nothing else.
Do not believe it, but some of the tourists come from Turkey, Egypt crush on the ears. Yes, what's the worse. We are ready to sell your own mother just to return for another week and stay with Ahmed, listen to his heart vyzubrennye phrases about extraterrestrial love. Aliens damn.
I remember that at some year we have a service "vacation credit" .I did not even happy, though earned on those wishing to drive a second time to Turkey during the summer very well.
Naturally, sales agents do not have the right to protect its customers from the follies committed by them. Catch the owner or agency stukanet it to someone - down the drain, be fired. And who would bother other people's problems? But sometimes I take risks and impeded girls from idiocy.

Miraculously, the young woman has won a ticket to Antalya, a lottery was held in one of the shopping centers of the city, and execute it through us. I am ready to send her documents. Outside the holiday it was a good girl, a young professional at some public service, a single mother, divorced from an alcoholic, and grow young son.
She returned a week later lost, as if on the moon visited and personally saw humanoids. He come to us and asked to issue her another holiday loan. Shove your nose in the paper and hair stand on end, her credit two years later to pay. A winning pass was not in a very simple hotel, and it is rushing back there.
I look at it - on the face ever written. Postpone documents for credit towards:
 - And what is his name?
She blushed, probably, to the anus. But the answer is:
 - Mehmet.
 - We met at the pool? Yoga instructor or kids entertained?
 - Water aerobics .... - She whispered, barely audible.
 - Do you smoke?
 - Very rarely ...
 - Come on, have a smoke then.
They went out for a corner. Lit.
 - Masha (or as it is there, I do not remember). I do not want to open your eyes to the brutal truth of life, but have to. Mehmet, I bet, in the past three days after your departure, already on the other walks on the beach under the moonlight. He tells her that he is such beautiful eyes, no one has seen, and is ready to put her feet all the flowers in the world. Just as long as he is poor, no money, and she would have to wait. But as soon as he gets rich, bury it in flowers and diamonds.
She blanched whole.
 - That can not be! It is not like that! He loves me! - But in the eyes of doubt, apparently, I literally told all his texts.
Damn, damn, damn! All the way back to the office, she tried to convince me that Mehmet sincere good man, these are no more, and so on.
 - How's the hotel called?
For a couple of seconds, I find the site you want, hammered name in the search and opened a hefty topic "Mehmet from *******" on an unknown babsky forum. There's a picture of him in profile, full-face, one aunt, on the other, with the third, tenth, and reports on what he in bed, he prefers, he does not like, everything, everything, down to the performance characteristics of the member.
Monitor deployed nouta towards Masha:
 - I'll stand back as, the tea will do.
Ten minutes later, this Masha, to change in the face of three hundred times, burst into tears on the spot.
Silently handed her napkin, pulled cup of tea, and sighed, ready to listen. Verbal fountain does not take long:
 - My life, no one did not say that, my ex-drunk, and probably even did not know such words ... so beautifully cared ... ... felt like a princess in her arms she wore ... God wore! He took in his arms and carried here and there, on the beach at night ... promised that all his life here and so wear will ... and I'm a fool, believe me ... I almost drove myself in bondage to this loan ... I think he's the one suffering, I Well ... went to say that he would die without me ... and was ready to hard labor, to limit myself in everything for him ... By the way, Anna Vladimirovna, what's warts? There, on the site read. Is that something terrible?
I sighed again. Opened business card holders, found the right card, copied the phone number on a piece of paper.
 - Mary is the phone number of my doctor. Call to arrange a viewing. Say, I recommend. And you my sincere advice, do not go ever again nor Turkey nor in Egypt, until you get married again. For local.

Love knows no age, I Popcorn ©

I went one morning to work, and the door guy is in his fifties. Aristocratic such appearance, thick graying hair, glasses in a good frame, trimmed beard, neatly dressed ...
 - Hello. You Anna Vladimirovna? I need to talk to you.
We go into the office, sit down, and as I laid out their work in the form of personal belongings nouta and everything else, nodding to him, they say, say it. Uncle hesitates, blushes even cleared his throat a couple of times, but the story begins:
 - My wife is six months ago bought you a ticket to Egypt. Well, I was not able to fly with her work, my position is not the easiest. So, instead of just one week, she stayed for another one, then another, and another ... constantly changed on the flight tickets, hotel has renewed ...
 - Yes, yes, I remember - I say. - I told her all the paperwork and changed.
 - That's why I turned to you and. You know ... - such a long pause, Uncle lost, does not know how to say, but still breathes ... - the day before she returned from that of its Sharm el-Sheikh.
 - Well, was alive and well? All right? Or something happened? - I'm scared of the long preamble.
 - Yes, she's alive, she did! - He waved his hand impatiently. - The problem is that she is not alone arrived!
 - Sorry? - Oh *** Vayu I slowly. - What do you mean, not one?
 - Well, the guy she flew with Egyptian. He was twenty-three years ...
 - Chevooo ??? - Oh *** Vayu I strongly. If not sit, then sat down once again. As far as I remember, the heroine of the story for fifty.
 - Well, - guy throws his hands in confusion so. - And now he wants us to sell the apartment or exchanged at least, because he wants to live with him separately. And we have children and grandchildren ... I can not imagine what to do. Maybe prompt?

I was confused at least guys. Well, I can advise him?
Then we have learned through the fifth hand that overage children Juliet is not allowed to commit the stupidity with the exchange of apartment, threatened to refuse to communicate with her, and the boy fell to the Egyptian homeland, guarding the pyramid, with nothing. But the aunt wept for a long time and then guzzled antidipressanty buckets.
PS. I've still I can not imagine how this young man, even an Egyptian, was sleeping with a woman, who over his mother? Yes, and sincere love portrayed?

"Prostitutes are all sorts»

Tumble to me one such auntie, flashing polumetrovymi acrylic nails a la stiletto. Claws of the color of blood, I suppose, it was them she killed someone previously robbed. And gobble, referee volumes.
At the head - pergidrolnaya mop of hay on each hand several gold bracelets on each finger - the ring, and in the mouth filthy lucre also present. Home buhgaltersha plant. Or Vokzalna barmaid.
I can not ochuhatsya from the sight of its immense ass in tights tiger, and she was languidly flapping Accrued lashes mark paper and paper clips from my desk.
 - I was in Turkey for two, in a good five-star hotel with all pribabahami, and that everything was all inclusive ultrapuper.
Proffers documents. Choose a hotel sign all the papers, I sit down to fill the office. And I understand that it only documents.
 - Excuse me, but who is second?
 - Oh, - blushing aunt. - Is it so important?
 - In general, yes - a polite smile. - I have to subscribe to each, according to the documents, not only tours and tickets, and insurance.
 - Well, then tomorrow it zabezhit and will bring their documents, - she fans herself claws.
 - You can call your name, I'll aim my pencil. Son, husband? - I ask on the machine.
Auntie giggling, winking.
 - Yes, what is it? My instructor, Dima. Well, you know ...
 - Sorry? - I tuplyu. For really do not know.
 - Do not you know what? - Surprised opens lashes.
 - Honestly, no.
 - Oh, you mean? - Vpleskivaet her palms, so much so that the claws crashed against each other. - Previously I worked here a girl, she knew me. Well, it does not matter. In general, I go to the fitness center for a few years ...
And it will not say. Rather, it is a few years from -this dinner table did not come out.
- Well ... - continues aunt confided. - There are good boys. Instructors. Give private workout. And sometimes, in gratitude, we ... well, I and some of my other friends .... we invite them to the rest ... well, you know ... We pay for everything, but the boys are so sweet and helpful ... This past year, my friend was with Dima, he said - he is the best. And she knows all traveled around the world ... If you need to call, you already have my phone number ... arrange everything in the best possible way ... well, you know what I mean ...
According to nod, say, of course, we know swimming. And she was sitting in deep shock. Well, Nichrome imagine how bored I live!
On the second day there is the hero of yesterday's narrative. Young boy under two meters tall, the figure - upload can be, appearance - cine hero lover. And then I finally precipitated notice on his finger a wedding ring. He understands that I have noticed, much embarrassed, blushing, quickly gathers his belongings and disappears into the sunset on the background of a burning fireplace.
And then, after some time there and friend of my aunt, and are made to rest with different boys, twenty years of commercials under them. But we do our work, trying not to laugh out loud, and not to embarrass the guys finally.
They, prostitutes, and so hard to live.

"Baaaa! All the familiar faces »

When you have a memorable appearance, it is also not very good. And when still recognizable after many, many years, and embarrassments happen.
A typical working day, we run, call, make out. We go to the office of a man in his fifties girl. The girl thirty years, and it is clearly not his daughter, judging by how powerfully holds uncle's hand, and all the surrounding casts precautionary glances women "do not touch - mine, and that will kill!».
Uncle Long chose the hotel, the girl capricious curls sponge, but ultimately choose something suitable for the requirements and price. And then the uncle, looking at my face, surprised gasps:
 - Anya, you're Whether it?
 - Good morning, Valery, and I have just found out - nice bright red.
She guards, like a dog, sensing danger, looks up quizzically perfectly plucked eyebrows.
 - Oh, it's ... Sveta Anna, I taught her drawing, even in school, - he corrects embarrassed expensive gold-rimmed spectacles. - And then to me in a circle drawing ran. Lapwing such thin and pioneer tie. I did not expect to meet you here, girl. Yes, what a girl? This woman has become, mature, slender ... a real beauty!
Svetochka all these compliments strain, it lacks Valery and pulls toward the exit. But he refuses to go:
 - Anya, and how your life has developed? Studied where? Married? Children have?
I am trying to answer the questions as concise as possible.
 - Oh, well ... I'm currently working in the Ministry. They transferred me a long time - and then goes to a whisper. - Only you Raisa do not say anything, I beg you. We are still married to her I'm going on a business trip.
Raisa is his wife, taught me English. A wonderful, by the way, and the woman, and teacher.
 - Tomb - I assure him, and to be sure depict hand locked lock on the lips.
It brightens the face, nods.
 - Well, it is, beauty, I still race.
Gone. Two weeks later, Valery appears at the agency with a small souvenir from the trip, and no girlfriend.
 - I have something for you looked after - and handed me a small box.
Chino thank.
 - Maybe we descend, coffee somewhere popem? - He looks curiously at my knees.
 - No, I'm sorry, I have a lot of work - politely refuse. - Season, you know, it's like the harvest on the farm. Can not be excommunicated.
 - And ... I understand ... Well, I'll see you ...
The box find a small watercolor, bought on the streets of the cities visited, by the way, very good. Remembers, Christmas trees that I loved watercolors. And there, in a little box, a piece of paper to fifty dollars.
This, as I understand it, the reward for his silence.

Even Cho remember, write. And while everything. :)




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