25 things to keep in mind a war photographer

The list was Bruce Haley, winner of the Gold Medal Robert Capa, a former member of the agency Black Star, who shot the war in Afghanistan, Burma, Somalia and other countries.





1 Practice to say to himself: "If I get out of here alive - all knotted." You will repeat this every time a truly dangerous situation will turn into a complete fucking.

2 Photo can save your life - it's true. That left a big dent on the body of my Nikon F3, otherwise, a reversal would likely face me.

3 As a rule, people do not fly up up to three meters, if next to them bursting artillery shell - despite what Hollywood movie teaches us about the war.

4 editors of leading magazines shit in a notebook, if it comes to war and famine in remote areas of eastern Burkina Timor Lanka ... you go there on a mission only in one case: if Leonardo DiCaprio will suddenly become a warlord, and Tommy Hilfiger sew for him uniforms.

5 If Leo and Tommy there and simply killed a few white tourists can then occur on the radar a while some signal, but maybe not ...

6 The present anarchy - it sucks. Forget about all these colored teenagers and students with dreadlocks that promotes anarchy and Schmal - if we start real anarchy, these guys will be in the unenviable spot of the food chain.

7 If the warlord asks you where you want to be buried - at home or in his country - it is likely that this is not an idle concern.

8 is said to fear can be imposed in the pants. Meanwhile, I noticed that fear can cause increased gas production. I saw the Mujahideen fled under heavy shelling, not just to stay in a cave with two Western journalists, who have suffered from this syndrome.

9 Do you believe in a united and loving God, one and all, who really cares about us mere mortals? .. You go to a couple of areas of military conflicts and famine, look at how children are dying there, and then answer the question.

10 However, at p. 9, there is a downside: many of the people who have gone through all this trouble, believe in God is stronger than any person I have ever met on this planet. So go and see what's what ...

11 You are fanatically committed to saving rare species? You would come into a rage if you saw how the gunman knocked a tree monkey? Go to the dick. After a multi-week running around in the jungle on an empty rice bloody kebab damn monkey legs seems to filet mignon.

12 Lenses, stones and Pakistani border guards - bad combination. People ask me: "Why does he broke your lens on the stone?" The answer: for the same reason that the dog licks his balls - he can do it.

13 If you do not understand, what is the idea of ​​artillery fork (ranging to the target when one shell before it does not reach, and the other - flies, after which begins shooting to kill. - Esquire), do not go to combat zones. If all of my list, you remember only one point, let it be this point.

14 You should be able to count. If the multi-charge grenade launcher that fires your positions, six consecutive beeps "fffyuuuppp", please carefully consider the explosions that rattle around you - just making sure that there are six, you can raise its head.

15 should not pose as macho and ignore the shelters. Forget Robert Duvall in "Apocalypse Now." If you follow his example, not being a movie star, get ready for a good chunk of hot metal.

16 Never wear shorts if you're amoebic dysentery. If you have long pants, then, at least, no one will see the treacherous bright red trickle that runs on your leg until it reaches your shoes.

17 If we are talking about shorts: never wear shorts if you have to travel to the Indian elephant. Between deadly, razor-sharp, stubble and a cloud of blood-sucking creatures that continually sting unfortunate beast, you will feel yourself in one of the circles of Dante's Inferno.

18 Afghan horses atrophied nerve endings on the face; reins and bridle perform their purely decorative function. Most American MANPADS "Stinger", which comes in a country used to stop these creatures.

19 In all the countries of the Third World, where you will visit, you will see the same damn mongrel. After a while you zakradetsya suspicion that the dog has a passport and it is on your trail from country to country.

20 Huge scary rat like three in the morning to get a job on the faces of sleeping photographers zanyuhanny hotels of the regions of the former Soviet Union, where there is a war.

21 Drug lords organize great parties - somewhere had to survive a video with me and one of the top aides Kun Sa (former leader of the Burmese opposition, the commander of the combined armies of the Shang and opium king of Southeast Asia. - Esquire), which is the stage and the support vocal and instrumental ensemble entertained the 500 fighters extremely drunk interpretation of the song Hotel California.

Equation 22: the number of journalists covering the conflict or another, is in direct proportion to the proximity to the conflict comfortable accommodation and booze.

23 You know, like in a movie about the war soldiers hear a high-pitched whistling, shouting, "Get down!", Hiding in the shelter and save the whole platoon? .. A complete mess. Many times the most different nonsense I fell almost on its head, but all I heard - a bloody explosion. This assertion has been tested by me in the field trials are extremely wide range of artillery weapons, including mortars, tanks, howitzers and so forth. As a result of these tests, if someone asks me a question, the first thing I say, "Huh? Speak louder ... »

24 One of the greatest mysteries of the universe: how shrapnel chooses his victims. The guy who goes side by side with you, can shlopotat a piece the size of a coin, and you will remain completely unscathed.

25 When you photograph people in a combat zone, and other scary places, remember:
a) sense of humor helps, even if the humor - black;
b) you believe it or not, but people here have more important things than to carry your equipment;
c) you are here because you wanted it, and they - not;
d) you can leave here and they - no.

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