722
Officer writer
Alexander Pokrovsky - a former submarine officer of the Soviet Navy, wrote seven books about the naval service. On one of these books - "72 meters" - it was filmed the movie of the same name. Among the best known are the readers of his book "Shoot" and "Rassterlyat-2" - a collection of short stories, very lively language, and with a fair amount of humor describes the services and everyday life in the Navy.
This story from the book "Shoot."
After perestroika began, we have deputies at a time increased. However, they are before the crew is not particularly delayed - mess as a rider on a horse, and with the restructuring well, just like a glove began to change: a half years - a new deputy, another year and a half - another deputy and flashed. Do not have time to get used to it and have a replacement.
Once they give us another deputy from the academy. He gave us his deputy, and he said we have to fight. Basically, of course, drunkenness on the crew. Before he fought great that soon all of us bend.
- Restructuring - he told us - well, that is not clear?
And we are their ration of wine, naval - fifty grams of the sea per person - drink and remember the restructuring.
And here we go into the sea on the task. Deputy with us for the first time went into the sea. All compartments as in an art gallery, hung posters, slogans, appeals, graphics, screen competition. We took out the division commander and division commander of our, Rear Admiral Batrakova, nicknamed "John - pluck the eye" in the Navy all know. The people it is sometimes called Petrovich.
Petrovich without wine in the sea could not. He had nothing to lose - the admiral, the pension is and avtonomok about twenty - so tried.
It's in their heart there is restructuring, while Petrovic was all strictly - to three times a day for the decanter. Otherwise, it is the output of all the gore. Petrovic shoots tiddly, but would pour a whole bucket. How to drink - the soul-man.
I shoved the quartermaster to the commander about the wine for Petrovich, but he just waved his hands - go to zamu. Intendant appeared to zamu and says:
- Allow the Divisional Commander carafe of wine to pour?
- How is it, "carafe"? - Deputy even stunned. - Is that a carafe of wine at a time?
- Yes, - said the quartermaster and looks faithfully. - It is always a time for a carafe of wine blows.
- How is it "blows"? - Says Deputy indignant. - We have the same restructuring! What is not clear?
- Yes, everything is clear - said the intendant, and he stands in front of deputy and did not think to go - just better let Comrade captain of the third rank, and that will be worse.
At the quartermaster was a secret mission from the commander: deputy of wine for Petrovich beat. Otherwise, you know, life is not.
- What does "will be worse"? What does "will be worse"? - Asks the deputy quartermaster.
- Come in, comrade captain of the third rank - zakanyuchil quartermaster - well, let him get drunk ...
- What do you mean ... look ... that you are to me here? - Said the deputy and drove quartermaster.
But after the third call gave the deputy - to hell with him, let him get drunk.
Poured Petrovich - again, we poured - two, poured - three and four - not poured.
- Stop him, - said the deputy.
I told you that if Petrovich does not drink, it all becomes very sad. Petrovich is sitting in the center, in an armchair commander INCOMP and harsh, and then he sees as the central deputy creeps. A deputy in his cap. We deputy believed that this submarine in the campaign should go in his cap. With deputies it happens. He's seen enough movies.
In general, the deputy sneaks into his cap on the central. And deputies Petrovich loved as a Rottweiler dog collar. It is our last deputy for each output in the sea gnoil mercilessly. And then he still someone snitched that this deputy put his paw on wine. So the deputy saw Petrovich and, you know, even face brightened.
- Come on you, bloke in his cap - he says zamu - Come on, swim here.
Deputy came up and introduced himself. Petrovich looked up at him bleary-eyed, like a bear grapes, and says:
- You passed to govern?
- Yes, - said the deputy.
- Come on, report, what's this? - Petrovich poked in the shrink tape zamovskogo remote control.
Deputy look at the remote control, if the first time it sees and says nothing.
- And here's the thing - P. poke a finger in the recovery unit - as is armed? Deputy again - not a word.
- So! - Said Petrovich, and his eyes began to fill with bad blood, and his head at the same time got into. shoulders, and then the deputy begins to understand why they say that Petrovich butt can. He approached to zamu face and tells him quietly:
- Well, dove bald, let's go, the ship's run on the device.
And we went over. They began to run from the first compartment, but in it and finished. Deputy showed a complete body - did not know a damn thing. The saint was - Saints All Saints.
At the end of the conversation Petrovich completely flushed, swollen like a hose, and how zaoret:
-You Taught in your academy? Pest! Newspapers read? Slogans give birth? Posters sssranye the draw? A wormhole? You then went into the sea, zahrebetnik? Bedbug pressure? You - an empty place! Sinker! Passenger! Monument! Dust do you want to blow you? Dust ?! A damp cloth can wipe you? A muddle? On the hell are you here zhrёsh, nit horse, then to include everything in the latrine? That shit there? And who of you will wash out the toilet? Who? I'm asking you? He, too, the device is, at the toilet! Here it is necessary to know, to know! You are on a boat or in the honor presidium pidorasina? And a fire will order you first make? Do you want to save you? Let me kiss you at the same time in the ass? You look me in the eye, with a sack by shit! How do you lead the people for a? Where are you bringest them? And if the fire will have to go? And if it will be necessary to give life? You do not give your life, non-EET. You compel others to give life for you! In my eyes look! Why are you wearing a form, Sissy smelly! Shoulder straps you why? Patches of seafarers who gave you? What ... you gave them? !!! He wore a cap! Cap! The battalion you need! The squadron! Horses! Horses egg twist! Commissioners ...
The deputy got out of the compartment without caps and wet - even squeeze. He weaned from the naval academy in the language. And yet, maybe he did not know it at all.
Petrovich poured evening. Petrovich drank and became - the soul-man.
--img2--
Source:
This story from the book "Shoot."
After perestroika began, we have deputies at a time increased. However, they are before the crew is not particularly delayed - mess as a rider on a horse, and with the restructuring well, just like a glove began to change: a half years - a new deputy, another year and a half - another deputy and flashed. Do not have time to get used to it and have a replacement.
Once they give us another deputy from the academy. He gave us his deputy, and he said we have to fight. Basically, of course, drunkenness on the crew. Before he fought great that soon all of us bend.
- Restructuring - he told us - well, that is not clear?
And we are their ration of wine, naval - fifty grams of the sea per person - drink and remember the restructuring.
And here we go into the sea on the task. Deputy with us for the first time went into the sea. All compartments as in an art gallery, hung posters, slogans, appeals, graphics, screen competition. We took out the division commander and division commander of our, Rear Admiral Batrakova, nicknamed "John - pluck the eye" in the Navy all know. The people it is sometimes called Petrovich.
Petrovich without wine in the sea could not. He had nothing to lose - the admiral, the pension is and avtonomok about twenty - so tried.
It's in their heart there is restructuring, while Petrovic was all strictly - to three times a day for the decanter. Otherwise, it is the output of all the gore. Petrovic shoots tiddly, but would pour a whole bucket. How to drink - the soul-man.
I shoved the quartermaster to the commander about the wine for Petrovich, but he just waved his hands - go to zamu. Intendant appeared to zamu and says:
- Allow the Divisional Commander carafe of wine to pour?
- How is it, "carafe"? - Deputy even stunned. - Is that a carafe of wine at a time?
- Yes, - said the quartermaster and looks faithfully. - It is always a time for a carafe of wine blows.
- How is it "blows"? - Says Deputy indignant. - We have the same restructuring! What is not clear?
- Yes, everything is clear - said the intendant, and he stands in front of deputy and did not think to go - just better let Comrade captain of the third rank, and that will be worse.
At the quartermaster was a secret mission from the commander: deputy of wine for Petrovich beat. Otherwise, you know, life is not.
- What does "will be worse"? What does "will be worse"? - Asks the deputy quartermaster.
- Come in, comrade captain of the third rank - zakanyuchil quartermaster - well, let him get drunk ...
- What do you mean ... look ... that you are to me here? - Said the deputy and drove quartermaster.
But after the third call gave the deputy - to hell with him, let him get drunk.
Poured Petrovich - again, we poured - two, poured - three and four - not poured.
- Stop him, - said the deputy.
I told you that if Petrovich does not drink, it all becomes very sad. Petrovich is sitting in the center, in an armchair commander INCOMP and harsh, and then he sees as the central deputy creeps. A deputy in his cap. We deputy believed that this submarine in the campaign should go in his cap. With deputies it happens. He's seen enough movies.
In general, the deputy sneaks into his cap on the central. And deputies Petrovich loved as a Rottweiler dog collar. It is our last deputy for each output in the sea gnoil mercilessly. And then he still someone snitched that this deputy put his paw on wine. So the deputy saw Petrovich and, you know, even face brightened.
- Come on you, bloke in his cap - he says zamu - Come on, swim here.
Deputy came up and introduced himself. Petrovich looked up at him bleary-eyed, like a bear grapes, and says:
- You passed to govern?
- Yes, - said the deputy.
- Come on, report, what's this? - Petrovich poked in the shrink tape zamovskogo remote control.
Deputy look at the remote control, if the first time it sees and says nothing.
- And here's the thing - P. poke a finger in the recovery unit - as is armed? Deputy again - not a word.
- So! - Said Petrovich, and his eyes began to fill with bad blood, and his head at the same time got into. shoulders, and then the deputy begins to understand why they say that Petrovich butt can. He approached to zamu face and tells him quietly:
- Well, dove bald, let's go, the ship's run on the device.
And we went over. They began to run from the first compartment, but in it and finished. Deputy showed a complete body - did not know a damn thing. The saint was - Saints All Saints.
At the end of the conversation Petrovich completely flushed, swollen like a hose, and how zaoret:
-You Taught in your academy? Pest! Newspapers read? Slogans give birth? Posters sssranye the draw? A wormhole? You then went into the sea, zahrebetnik? Bedbug pressure? You - an empty place! Sinker! Passenger! Monument! Dust do you want to blow you? Dust ?! A damp cloth can wipe you? A muddle? On the hell are you here zhrёsh, nit horse, then to include everything in the latrine? That shit there? And who of you will wash out the toilet? Who? I'm asking you? He, too, the device is, at the toilet! Here it is necessary to know, to know! You are on a boat or in the honor presidium pidorasina? And a fire will order you first make? Do you want to save you? Let me kiss you at the same time in the ass? You look me in the eye, with a sack by shit! How do you lead the people for a? Where are you bringest them? And if the fire will have to go? And if it will be necessary to give life? You do not give your life, non-EET. You compel others to give life for you! In my eyes look! Why are you wearing a form, Sissy smelly! Shoulder straps you why? Patches of seafarers who gave you? What ... you gave them? !!! He wore a cap! Cap! The battalion you need! The squadron! Horses! Horses egg twist! Commissioners ...
The deputy got out of the compartment without caps and wet - even squeeze. He weaned from the naval academy in the language. And yet, maybe he did not know it at all.
Petrovich poured evening. Petrovich drank and became - the soul-man.
--img2--
Source:
