The photo Bashny.Net

Comrades, someone from the audience boasts NORMAL photo in the passport? No, I'm serious - the majority of rye in the most important documents of citizens somehow very vaguely resemble the person they need to certify.

Look: here's my passport, issued a series of ... ... there is no question, yeah - here. Who is this woman?! She feels bad. Just a little bit - and its going to be sick right at hand to hold a passport. She has problems with the liver, kidneys, she thumps, and left her to live a few months. And this woman is very easy to learn how to sing, "from a thousand" - it has a big nose. Huge. Shnobelina! You can sort of battering ram Khrushchev demolished or ice stabbing, a tattoo on the nostril "Admiral Nakhimov" will be very useful. Terrible aunt dressed dumb - what that koftets unknown species, a bum? Because of the poor? .. That's not me. I have a normal nose! I refuse to believe that it was my photographer took a picture of a maniac in the dank autumn morning! ..

His first passport I was, as usual, won in 16 years - it was on the old form with a large photo. Met on the street a girlfriend, I asked her a justified question - where are you going? Girlfriend, snake made up, was photographed for a passport. My reason, and I decided - why waste time and lose? I'll go with it! And she went, what was. And I was in acne, bang "house" and turtleneck, so me and captured. In that year there was something wrong was going on in my head - received 6 glossy little freak on my hands, I, instead of re-shooting, carried them to the passport office, where gloomy aunt void sumnyashesya paste them into my passport and gave my hand a nightmare exactly in two weeks.

 - This is not my daughter! Thank you, Mother, for these words! More than anything, I would not want to be like that picture. My then boyfriend tactfully expressed his association - pregnant shrimp. And not just shrimp and drunk - drunk pregnant shrimp! He, thank God, on the passport was like Karachentseva cellulite on her face - mutual blackmail did not allow leaks to the side ...

Passport shamed me for six years, I was looking forward prYntsa that will allow me to change the name, and with it a passport and get rid of the terrible portrait. How happy I was reform - bang, now I be photographed exactly right! Fig. I was going to marry the old passports are not recorded, it was urgent to hand over all the documents, I went into the first company - the result described above. My husband turned out to be a stupid name, passport was no reason to change, and I was left with the beauty of the document indefinitely.

Who taught these people to photograph? Perhaps this is a conspiracy? Photographer specifically incite passport offices, or a special oburodlivayuschaya film, or is it a whammy ...

I was at a wedding photographer, apparently, from the former "passport" - I can not look without tears on the happiest day of his life. Why is the bride looks like Shrek? And the groom - kikoz: all the photographs it with his mouth open and eyes in varying degrees of cover-up - a sort of hydrocephalus on roaming. Oh, that's all super - our staging portrait: in my ass looks like a corkscrew (because of it - straight back and eyes in different directions), and the groom barely restrained so as not to let salivating (eyes, of course, half-closed, his mouth half open, a little tongue sticking out - he seems to say something started ...). But this mother of the groom - you can feel the relationship between her and the bride and groom - in addition to the half-open mouth, her mother of her husband in all the photos dry pen, pressed to the side - God knows why, in the life of a beautiful and well-groomed woman. Brother of the groom - a thick and stupid boy, my brother - a bastard, drunken narik from the working area, my parents - Kryvorizhzhya marginal (in the life of both - the candidates of sciences, pleasant intelligent people).

Great to get a girlfriend, one worse than another - heart rejoices! Who Ass full frame, one eye mow, one of the teeth is not visible - Beauty ... A female receptionist in the registry office - a prostitute, my grandmother - a nasty old woman with a hostile look, friends of her husband - a parade of morons. There is only one decent mug on all the wedding photos - the photographer, he depicted himself to check the film first frame. This morel with the camera in the picture just Adonis - is not clear, as the sort of unearthly creature was in the company of goblins, who in the film have become my friends.

However, the lyrics of my album - photos from graduation. In general, the pictures always come out saying a person is very interesting - the mouth of the curve, the eyes in different directions, hands-hooks. Feast for the eyes. The most successful photo - mouth, of course, wide open, all seals at a glance, one eye covered by the hand in front of a poster spasm, one breast, somehow above the other - this wonderful portrait of grandmother took himself. Only a few years later I caught her in the ass when a proud demonstration photos to some relative - this is my granddaughter, beautiful, cum protects! Relative watched with sympathy tactful, intelligent man whom family honor Mount disabled. It turned out that all the friends and relatives, which I fucking cloud, and I have not seen in person - they all saw the "granddaughter", and only the most persistent ventured then to full-time acquaintance ...

Photo was taken out and ... not destroyed. Somehow, I thought it best to just hide, that somehow at the time of deepest depression zaperevshis all in his attic, get plenty portrEt and neighing. This thought prompted me to create "kikoznogo" album - this glorious collection of very cool cheers me up! ..

Oh, I'm sorry you can not tear from the passport photograph - I would love to bellow over it. With one condition - in splendid isolation!