Two stories with Anekdot.ru Bashny.Net

Today we ...

Mail # 1 (secretary, wrote to all): Dear staff, please anyone
 do not worry, nothing bad will happen, just that 7-machines,
 Parked in front, stole the front rooms. The situation is under
 control, authority representatives ekzekutivnoy alerted and
 will soon arrive.

Mail # 2 (deputy chief, wrote everything except the secretary): colleagues, all the beam,
 called the police canceled the call and spoke with his secretary, explained to her,
 it was snowing.

Sunday, the 26th, I got sick ... something. Went to the pharmacy to buy any chemistry.
 I stand in the queue. In front of me some pills to grandma bag and shove the girl 20 years, plump and big glasses. Maid stretches out the window
 bill and so quietly utters:
 "2 packs of condoms and a bottle of valerian, please ...»
 Grandma immediately turns to the girl and utters:
 "Are you excited? In vain ... "