Obstacle Bashny.Net

- Oh, when will it all end ... Oh, and I was tired ... Just sleep and see how my hand a thin pension book. I take it with both hands and kiss, like a banner. And put in the left pocket, close to his heart. And from that moment, the team is only yourself. Well, okay ...

Vzvo-of-the-od! P-ravnyays! Attention! At ease. So, fellow soldiers, today we have in the program - obstacle course with full arms. That is, armed with my little friend, you have to get from here to over there with all that, what you are wearing, Nabutov, inserted and nailed. Stepanov Fighter! I, I ... Basin laundry! As you hang the machine? Well you cripple yourself! I draw the attention of all! Wrong hung machine fellow fighters on the run turns into the mixer. For beating eggs. A helmet worn messy leads to baldness in fifteen minutes.
And if someone is badly wrapped puttees, do not be surprised then, why smell like feet. Yes, because they have died! Because most formidable and merciless your opponent, fellow fighters - is you.
I remember in past sessions fighter Zaitsev ... I, I ... soup ant! You, comrade Zaitsev, a month ago there were only around the platoon who did not march before the throw-reel leg wrappings. Citing the fact that you already quite hairy legs. As a result of that? Frostbite leg bones plus two forty-sixth the size of the corn! Oh, where are you! Where are you, my little! My tiny! My pension ... As I'm waiting ...
Fighter Antonio I, I ... Vysun do not popping! Take a look, fellow soldiers. Fighter Antonov still thinks that this is now all it just seems. And that in fact he was asleep at home in a cozy little bed wet. And as soon as he wakes up, my mother will lead him Yulu and give tityu. Do not give comrade fighter! Your mom today I and my Tityaev with a tattoo - it is not an organ of baby food! A red corner of the body, designed to carry orders.
Fighter Antonio I, I ... The tail of a mackerel! Stand erect and straighten shoulders! And then you look as if you are not a fighter and sugar rooster on a wooden stick. You put on and sucked. Above the chin! Higher! Yet! That's right, yes. Well done. This drill stand - it is visible when you are on top of your own spin. That's right, yes. It is better to look at the sky than at me. And I have long suspected that me you're not just looking, but show me a fig face. Ooh, where, when ... when I take a rest from all this ...

Alright enough. Getting to the lesson. Vzvo-o-od! P-ravnyays! Attention! On my team begins to perform combat exercises "obstacle course" ... Vzvo-o-od! Forward!

Well, well, well! Well run, fellow fighters, good! Go-go! I'm watching! I can see everything! I follow you closely look into the mouthpiece! That is, the team! Well, well, the ladder, the ladder! Jogging, running, not crawling! Faster! Faster! Attention! Window opening overcome jump! Pancake!!! Semenov! I, I ... Drink not blyuya! You dropped a grenade from the pouch! Vaughn lying! Skvortsov, Andreev! I, I ... coffin for sleeping! You killed! Both! Your clumsy fellow soldier Semenov begat jump grenade and she was tragically cut short all that you have grown! Yes-ah ... right Repin's painting. "The attack on his foot Suvorov» ...

Pancake!!! Who?! Who's that stuck ?! Who's there raskoryachishsya like a cow on the toilet ?! Help him! Well, of course, of course ... It Stepanov. This is a great warrior Stepanov, the absolute world champion in weightlifting eating. The only person on the planet who has the stomach occupies the entire volume of the body. Stepanov! I, I ... No. no tip!
Waddle, waddle, do not hang! Faster! You do not see - masonry cracked under you? Leg, drop your leg first! So! Now another! So! Now a third! And this hand ... Well, jump! Stop a minute! Wait a minute. Warning, the platoon! I give an introduction! The enemy used a high-powered weapon! All leave the first line! Now you will have cellulite dropped the bomb! Stepanov, jump. Hop! Well done. Run down. Get out of the pit and run. In what pit you made me! Just where I wanted to dig a ditch. Op-pa ... And this is what we have? Who are we so clever? Fighter Ju-u-ukov ... Tell me, fellow fighter, which is headed for your bird? Why are you all not climb over the wall? Why bypass? Do you think that if you are thirty people, and I have two eyes, I can not see a damn? You are mistaken.
 I see everything. I even see your near future. You I will sit in a government building on gaupticheskoy watch and three hundred thousand big bugs will clink glasses with your blood! Zhukov Fighter! I, I ... horse you husbands! Run a march on the wall! Warning, the platoon! Do not lose the pace, we do not lose! Go to the next frontier! Overcoming a water barrier by swimming! Remember, fellow soldiers, that in a real combat situation only effective is only one style of swimming - a rabid butterfly with chaotic strokes legs in the water.
The advantage of this style is that because of the raised splashing an opponent is almost does not see you. Those who still have not learned to swim - a separate task. Wear masks and drop down on all fours. We will work out a special exercise: storming enemy positions war elephants. Joke. Wear masks and every ten times to catch up on the bar. Running march! Oh, snails ... Oh, what are you crawling so ... Oh, where are you, my well-deserved rest ... Come to me soon, I'm all yours ...

Ivanov! I, I ... Pear whipping! I see everything, everything! Why not see what I hear! This is where you dropped out of the hands of the machine? No? What? Ah, helmet flew off ... Wow what a strong wind today! Bad wind which does not give the soldier Ivanov to attack. He blew the kasochku and glass slippers. Fighter Ivanov get cold, before reaching the enemy. And his mother's maiden narrow grave will always remind us that ...

What?!!! What?!!! Who shot? !!! Who's shooting? !!! Set aside !!! Stop shooting !!! Vzvo-o-od! Hundred-o-ow! Zamkomvzvoda - me!

What is this, comrade Sergeant ?! Where did the fighters blank cartridges? A? After all, I did not give! After all, I warned that if someone will find at least one cartridge - slaughter his own teeth! Fighter Golubev ... I, I ... Bee from hive !!! Have you forgotten the consequences of careless handling of ammunition? A? You forget how Lozhkyn shot himself in pants? Do you know where he is now a gray-haired? Fedorov from the first branch? I bet with a friend on a chocolate bar that lit from the flame thrower. Won! And now the only one in the whole army of bald black man with blue eyes and pale neck!

Oh, no-ee-o ... Early in my retirement, early ... women do not give birth to men. They give birth to boys. And the boys can not protect them. Therefore, someone must make them men. It's me. And I will make them one of them!

Vzvo-of-the-od! Attention! Listen to my team! Heels together, nipples BPO-oz ... in a line and a half-a ... From right to left-back to one at Bego ... th ... th ... Shago Circle th ... Avast! The rest - go!

And who does not understand - you will deal with separately ...