How to prepare to become parents

1. Women: to prepare for maternity wear robe and put it
Front bean bag. Leave on for nine months. After that date
otsypte ten percent beans. Men: to prepare for paternity,
go to the nearest drugstore, pour the contents of the wallet on the counter
and allow the seller to take as needed. Then go to the supermarket and
arrange that all your salary directly into their lists
central office

2. To experience what will become of the night, do the following exercise.
Walk around the room in circles from five to ten in the evening with a wet sack weighing
3 to 6 kg. At 22:00 put the bag, set the alarm for midnight and
go to sleep. Wake up at twelve o'clock and go to a sack
circles around the room. Set the alarm at 3:00. Because you do not sleep
will be able to stand up at 2:00, and drink something. At 2:45 go to
bed. At 3:00, together with an alarm clock stand. Sing songs in the dark until 4:00
am. Set the alarm for 5 hours. Stand up and cook breakfast.
Repeat for the year. Looks happy.

3. Remove the flesh from the melon, having made the side a small hole the size of a
Ball for table tennis. With strings hang from the ceiling and
swung from side to side. Take the bowl of soaked corn
cereal and try to shove them into the swaying melon spoon, bouncing,
like a grasshopper. Continue until you have finished half a bowl. Remaining
pour into his lap. Now you are ready to feed year-old toddler.

4. In order to prepare for the baby's first steps, a sofa and jam peremazhte
curtains. Long curtains tear off with a cornice. Fish bite
cutlet, place for the stereo and leave it there for a couple of months.

5. Learn how to dress a young child. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
Try to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the tentacles are not
protruded outward. Time for performance - all morning.

6. Get ready to go for a walk, have a bath and then wait half an hour. Go
street. Go back. Vyydite.Snova go inside. Exit and follow the
track. Return. Again, go to the track. Five minutes of slow
Go along the road. Every ten seconds, stop and consider
cigarette butts, chewing gum residues, paper dirty and dead insects.
Go back. Shouting that you have had enough and that you are no longer so
you can not. Get the neighbors to stare at you. Are you ready to try
bring the baby for a walk.

7. Forget the sports car and buy a family model. Do not
I think that it will stand in front of the house neat and shiny. Family
cars do not look like. Put in the glove box of chocolate ice cream cone and
leave there until melted. Wedge coin box cassette in
recorder. Above the rear seat a full package of chocolate crumble
cookies, the received hash pour a large bottle of Coca-Cola. Spend
grablinmi children on both sides of the body. That is so great!

8. Go to the supermarket, taking with him the most similar to
preschooler being. Ideal adult goat. If you plan
to have several children, take an appropriate amount of goats.
Buy your usual range of products for a week, without letting the goats out of
visibility. Pay for everything the goats eat or broken.

9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.

A source


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